That Eye Dream

• Artist: Canaval
• Description: I just wanted to have fun with language. Also display a piece of myself, which of course is what anyone who writes does. To form something from self. A piece of humanity framed feebly, to be interpreted as anything is.
• Date: 01/11/2010
• Tags: dreampoems sleepanddreams sweetdreams nightandday

No span of night, no day

Time unravels
Flight shepherded by fancy, dreams
Or vines twisting unslackingly
Ensnared, in trouble, and happy

And falling off the cliff are sounds
The wind whipping the willow
A flute of sweet dripping bees
How decadent these moments

Tendrils that vanish not
though slumber cease

linger still
smirking memories
an inch more ahead
than intelligence divine

Both full of unrest,
trouble and excite

eye awaken!

Comments

[Canaval]

Poetry does not have to have structure buddy. It's interpretive. If you don't have anything constructive than that to say than you didn't consider my poem very long. My poem means something to me. I looked at yours by the way. Interesting. I don't think you have any room to criticize since I didn't see much "structure" there. I feel very free to have fun and express myself any way I please. If I wanted a sestina I would have written a sestina.

[Cottoncandyocbra3]

Cough cough pretentious, cough, ahem....I do apologize, but "a piece of humanity framed feebly, to be interpreted...." Do you even know what you're talking about? That sounds like mindless romantic trash. While the poem uses some fancy smanshy language, it lacks cohesive or coherent structure. You seem to just type out whatever sounds the "smartest". Pretentious verbiage and formlessness do not, a good poem, make.