Repetition

• Artist: Dapper Swain
• Description: Here's a little something I thought I'd do as I listen to my girlfriend on the phone say that there's just a bit many of those emo poetry that we'd expect to find on the internet, especially here on Gaia. So hopefully this is something different that you will all find interesting to dissect.
• Date: 02/13/2010
• Tags: repetition clone monotone

Tick-tack, tick-tack, the typing of keys methodical as muscle memory continues its course.
Your mind races from thought to thought as you lay it out on the ground, piecing everything,
Putting it together and then breaking it apart once more due to fault or a new idea
Emerging from that which you call a mind as your eyes flicker just as florescent lights do.
Tick-tack, tick-tack, the mindless army of internet users create the impossibly similar.
But the more that someone tries to explore the unknown an empire of clones drone on
To dash that dream away into deep space and terrorize with monotone homophones.
So here we the original stand, to reprimand those who hold our creativity in hand
And attempt to crush it. So make 'em eat s**t and don't let up, so that defeat they will admit
And this game they will quit.

Comments

[Sancerre]

Now this is an interesting piece. I enjoy the alliteration, though you do use a lot of it. It works well throughout most of the piece, though. Overall, a really great piece of writing. 4/5

[Xx-Forgotten Mist-xX]

I do like it but the endding was kind of a bore suprizingly and I think people write emo poetry because they know its what others want to hear so 4/5 smile

[seven_Sin_incarnate]

eh, i disagree. cursing can add somthing.... gritty... if used correctly. i really liked it.

[Yureiaa Hearts]

;p Nice, until your "make 'em eat s**t" phrase came along.
Satan (Braitsch) taught me that wanton cursing hurts your piece.
LOVE YOUUU. <3