finally i get....

• Artist: Thisblondierules
• Description: well just made ti up on a bike ride. it's free verse, kinda ashamded of myself but not the poem.
• Date: 05/01/2010
• Tags: finally

Thoughts clashing.
Headache coming.
Take some Alieve.
Cause more pain.
Dance in the salty rain.
Finally i get what i deserve.
since i am such a b***h.

Comments

[shy schoolgirl 1]

i hat the ending but ill give you a 4/5

[Thisblondierules]

the last line is the most important to me. i was very mad at myself for being so mean. it was the whole point of me writing this poem.... srry guys but ti is staying.

[Pegasaurus Rex]

I have to agree, that ending totally ruined it. Maybe just take out that last line?

[l_Shamrock_l]

It started out quite well, and I liked the imagery. It really stands out to one's senses, especially that of "touch". However the way it ended ruined the poem completally for me. I would have given it a 5/5, but I can only manage to give a 3/5 at most because of it. Good job though.