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Breathing the soft, gentle breeze so fine.
Sometimes I wish it was all mine.
Wondering what I can do, to make it so.
I feel all I can do is wait.
There's no way, I can wait.
Until we meet again, I will never be complete.
Without you, I am nothing but an utter defeat..
- by Xx_Zee_Goez_Rawrz_xX |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 05/16/2010 |
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- Title: Feeling The Breeze So Fine
- Artist: Xx_Zee_Goez_Rawrz_xX
- Description: This is just a little poem I wrote.
- Date: 05/16/2010
- Tags: feeling breeze fine
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Comments (1 Comments)
- The Tainted Blac Rose - 05/16/2010
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Comment; I like it, here are some minor changes I would make to it, take out the comma in front of soft and put "..." after breeze, replace was with were, take out the 3rd line, change the can in the 5th line to can't and put an exclamation mark after wait. And my last change would be to take out the but and put a comma after nothing. Good work though, I enjoyed reading it, you have great potential :]
Rating; 3/5 - Report As Spam