Drowned To Death

• Artist: ChiquitaChacon
• Description:
• Date: 08/18/2010
• Tags: drowned death mouthtomouth kissme thecure

I started drowning
In my river of tears
I was turning blue
My pulse was slow
So I ended
Up In the ambulance
The doctors said
I needed you
Mouth To Mouth
Your kiss was the cure
But you were gone
You wernt here
To save me
So,I died

Comments

[Treasons]

It's actually quite nice, though the content features some very delayed fixes. Take notice of the grammatical errors and please let me not discourage you. The stanza form could be placed better, too. You've created an artistic sort of background. I rate this 3/5.

[Mario the Davidic Hero]

hmmm..... not bad at all, lad... 5/5