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Band: Memoirs of a Nonexistent
Album: Despise and Dispose
1) Stained Glass
2) Today I'm Alone
3) The Silent Earthquake
4) Pitiful I
5) Glaciers Sleep
6) Ugly Valentines
7) Outline
cool Mispercieved
9) Despise and Dispose
10) 8l/l8
11) Criminal Behavior
12) Predator
13) My Dungeon
14) Paralysis
15) Tears of Joy
16) Project Undoing
Stained Glass
You see me through the stained glass, this mask
The outside cannot see what lies within
What seems a beauty only just a sin.
I am trapped within this house of tin.
*This booth, this cell
Dampened these sewers of hell
With the s**t up to my neck
The knock upon the cancer
The angelic visitor
Through the window, just a face
Painted on in loving grace.*
You think you know just who I am, a sham.
My blackened, broken house not haunted,
Only underfed, but always is it taunted.
For you, the beauty flaunted, and used up to nothingness.
*This booth, this cell
Dampened these sewers of hell
With the s**t up to my neck
The knock upon the cancer
The angelic visitor
Through the window, just a face
Painted on in loving grace.*
It’s just a face, no reflection shown.
All imagination, there is no flesh or bone.
It’s only me alone, only me alone, only me alone, I CANNOT BE ALONE.
Painted angels warp the surface
to cover the mark of the devil within.
The stench of death blocked with a fragrant chemical.
This is me, but they cannot see.
It’s the “me” they won’t accept to be.
This lie spews from my shriveled tongue,
though only I can hear it.
This booth, this cell
Dampened these sewers of hell
With the s**t up to my neck
*The phone rings and I answer
The angelic visitor
Through the window
My Aphrodite, just a painted face*
Break the glass, break the glass.
See what’s on other side.
I have to know, no more lies to show.
Whether it’s you or I.
Today I'm Alone
Leave me bare
Bleeding your consequence
Leave me dry
Crying Alone
Bring me here
In the end you will find
Kill me now
Or I will die alone
*Can’t be strong
Been dead all along
Hope is found
But today it is gone*
Feed me the substance
Of your last regret
This painful transaction
You couldn't forget
Send me the sign telling
Truths from the lies
And leave me here
To die all alone
*Can’t be strong
Been dead all along
Hope is found
But today it is gone
We’re all wrong
This is nobody’s song
Yesterday’s sound
Today is all gone.*
An eclipse from your hand
Proving your justice
Kill off the pain that
Drenches your mind
Hand me the soul of
This pregnant ambition
Or leave me here
To just die instead
*Must be strong
Bring an end to this song
Hope is lost
And will always be gone
Once more
To better this home
Must be swarmed
Today I'm Alone*
And I’m always alone.
The Silent Earthquake
Like a wheel I roll on only downs.
Inside it spins my mind around.
I'm jumbled as I roll
Far down the hill.
Like a bird falls from a bullet shell
I'm plunging down into this well.
They all scream "hole in one"
As I am filled
*Up with,
The wishes of those children
And as I stand stiff
This water holds me down
And I try to run
But my floor it spins around me
While they all have fun
I'm falling underneath their senseless toes.*
Like the death bell toals to cause you fright
I'm crawling up your legs tonight
You jump and slam your palm
Down on my back
When all I wanted was your warmth
To dry me like a burning torch
I float down to the eearth
And through the waiting hungry cracks.
*This endless pit
Where silence conforms the air
The darkness throws a fit
And all this s**t is mounded
And I try to run
But my floor it spins around me
While they all have fun
I'm falling underneath their senseless toes.*
They don't feel the silent earthquake
as for I am only one.
Shunned myself from misfits
and am friends with only stones.
I scratch upon the cieling
Hoping somebody looks down.
The tenticals surround me
And forever I am bound.
*When life consists
Of those who walk in circles
There's no still bliss
For the earth rotates around
And if I stand
The floor below me crumbles
But to run forever
Will never be my plan.*
Pitiful I
I am sick of being all alone
I’m cheating through this tone
Love is on the run, yeah.
I’m beginning to stand up on my toes
Above the wall she shows
Crying all alone, yeah.
*Reel it from me
Hide it with the ugly
Teach it, show me
How do I belong?
In a world so ugly
Happiness is lonely
Feel to coax me
Love is on the run*
I am blind to what I cannot be
And love is all but me
Use loneliness to see, yeah.
I am nothing without the biggest piece
But nothingness is me
How will I ever be, without you?
*Reel it from me
Hide it with the ugly
Teach it show me
How do I belong?
In a world so ugly
Happiness is lonely
Feel to coax me
Love is on the run.*
My mind is clear
I see through the rain
I try to drown
But the world, it drains.
Stuck inside
These tearless eyes
Every feeling
Is a lie.
*Reel it from me
Hide it with the ugly
Teach it show me
How do I belong?
In a world so ugly
Happiness is lonely
Feel to coax me
Love is on the run.*
Glaciers Sleep
There's an avalanche tonight...
It is so loud,
I cannot think,
all these uncertainties
making me sink.
Millions of words
in tongues I don't know,
and all of them screaming
beneath mountains of snow.
*And this empty path lasts forever
The home on my mountain
Is far in the distance.*
I strut through this blizzard
with nothing to guide,
with all of my loved one's
now waiting inside.
But now I walk off
The sky falling on me
And as the summer commands
This home turns to a sea
*And this empty path lasts forever
The home on my mountain
Is far in the distance.*
I wake up as the sky is falling,
as the night of pain defeats the day.
The moon evaporates into the black abyss,
leaving our home to grow spots of disease.
The preceding day in memory,
we despair our ever having happiness.
As I sleep beneath the dyeing sparkles of stardust,
flaring out and dissolving into nothingness,
the cushion of acceptance blots out the pain,
and the universe sucks me into its void.
Ugly Valentines
My ribs have been broken
and my heart has been hawked.
There never were chocolates
in my empty box.
My legs cannot pump
this charred blood anymore,
I can no longer pickpocket
from those I adore.
*I'm running around
without my head,
searching for something
that's already dead.
Since ever I've promised
myself only lies
and now as I’m dry
I can’t even cry.*
I haven’t a secret
For I haven’t line.
As I stand around
I keep saying I’m fine
As my stride gives way
To the loss of my blood
I collapse in the dirt
This dry sand soaks the flood.
*I'm running around
without my head,
searching for something
that's already dead.
Since ever I've promised
myself only lies
and now as I’m dry
I can’t even cry.*
My lungs are parasites
and my breath is its horrible bite.
I'm not allowed to feel anymore,
I have become numb
to the perfumes of love,
and without them,
my breath is only painful.
My eyes have become a desert
and I only see in grey.
The paints are locked away
and the key's are in the hands of Aphrodite.
They say the hardest person
to know is yourself,
and I am missing half of who I am.
*I'm running around
without my head,
searching for something
that's already dead.
Since ever I've promised
myself only lies
and now as I’m dry
I can’t even cry. *
Outline
The drug in the fire's a lore,
these ones are burned alive.
Run to the engines in roar,
fall with the bullets sound.
And though you know it's wrong,
blood drunk till love is gone.
*In the eyes of madness there's no prevailing,
insanity today is wailing,
to try is to allow your failing.
And when your ship has gone to sea,
you wait on shore wishing you could be,
loneliness is this drug's final fee*
The crowds, they are screaming the lies,
but sadly it’s the only sound.
All you know now is how to hide,
you never learned how to turn around.
And though you know it's wrong,
blood drunk till love is gone.
*In the eyes of madness there's no prevailing,
insanity today is wailing,
to try is to allow your failing.
And when your ship has gone to sea,
you wait on shore wishing you could be,
loneliness is this drug's final fee.*
And they run until
They have nothing left to fill
This life in the fear
I wish you could only hear
It’s the profit of your extinction.
And they cry their eyes
What they love is to despise
Betrayed in this lie
With nowhere to hide
With love there is no distinction.
And though you know it's wrong,
blood drunk till love is gone.
*In the eyes of madness there's no prevailing,
insanity today is wailing,
to try is to allow your failing.
And when your ship has gone to sea,
you wait on shore wishing you could be,
loneliness is this drug's final fee.*
Mispercieved
I cry and cry
And never die, and
Sing a song with only lies.
Grab a hold
Or wave goodbye
I’ll see you on the other side.
Lie and lie
And never fight it
Give into the cold despising.
Drained the color
From my eyes I’m
Frozen in this world alive.
One more line
While the Earth is dyeing
For all these hills we’ve tried to climb.
Underneath
We’re all alive
But we’re in a world full of disguises.
Despise and Dispose
*Despise and dispose,
this man full of holes,
wounds from the diamond spears.*
Yet nobody knows
that the man's awkward tone
is the gunner that sits in our ears.
Who can cry
from a lover’s goodbye
to which everyone leaves in sorrow,
the nightly parade
of hatred and pain
beneath blankets of hopes for tomorrow.
*Detect and destroy
the ugly decoy,
it’s the portrait of all of our creeds.*
The good little boys
with god as their toys,
no ruling when every-one's free.
If this doesn't survive
then it would never thrive,
so may as well salvage its marrow,
and through this charade
with the morals in fade,
we look for our lovers to borrow.
*Despise and dispose,
it’s the mothers that chose,
through instinct we're made out of fear
As the fires will blow
we'll all surely show
that love never will disappear.*
8l/l8
In summer time the winter blows,
without this blanket I’m exposed.
In light of all that’s come to pass,
there’s something that I wish to ask:
*Where’ve you taken all my sheets?
Alone this cold, it makes me weep.
Tongue is dry, make not a sound;
all my words unpleasantly bound.
So when you look up at this hill
know that I am waiting still.
But never will the warmth contain,
inside your head my mind is sane.*
In naturalness I’ve never shown
confessions such that I’m alone.
The boat I’m in is never fast,
while the river leads to ocean’s vast.
*It’s obvious that I am weak,
and such I never try to seek
a vessel that will share the crown,
a wording angel who’s profound.
But now the wind is giving chill,
the captain is now getting ill.
As I fall flat inside my pain,
the missing hand has left a stain.*
And you wait until the other one leads you.
And I wait until I never will need you.
Both have only lies to go to.
Insanity we all shall miss you.
Criminal Behavior
Sour stains disease my veins
Profanity inside it reigns
A shame to have these tiny eyes
In searching for a pure disguise
The ties we bind written in signs
And I can see the lies behind
The message to a perfect world
Is only the reflection to which they're sold.
Predator
I need to run, I need to hide.
From the monster living inside.
And as I cry, my tear it burns.
Upon my face its path is torn.
*From the world I am shunned
Search refuge from the gun.
And these tears bake my skin.
From the sun not within.*
So hungry now, and tired too.
I’ve traveled Earth in search of you.
To take me to a better world.
With love in mind we can unfold.
*From the world I am shunned
Search refuge from the gun.
And these tears bake my skin.
This marathon is done.*
The predator is me, but the prey I cannot see.
So do I live to starve?
No one here to carve.
Or can I live alive
Without the blood to thrive?
The predator is me, but the prey I cannot see.
And now I steal my own flesh for meal.
Let me taste your flesh,
because it’s all that I have left
In this dried up world of rotting bones,
I dine upon my lifting soul.
Without your blood I slowly die,
drinking to my own demise.
My Dungeon
As this stop sign is wiped completely clean
Of its fluorescent, shielding metal screen
The crash of souls is evident
To the innocents on this cement
*You’re in my dungeon
You’re in my head
The air is draining
Walls closing in
You’re under water
Flooded by sin
But sin is changing
As we’re ripped from our skins.*
So a child learns to speak his line
In a world of lies to false define
His tongue is solvent with his breath
But his words will not come from his chest
*He’s in god’s dungeon
He’s in god’s head
The air is draining
Walls closing in
He’s in the mirror
Of his own grin
But his mouth is moving
From changes within*
You look at me and see a frown
My drying lips held tightly down
By the weights this heavy world provides
Without these weights I am alive
*I’m in your dungeon
I’m in your head
The air is draining
Walls closing in
My tongue is drying
My legs are pained
But nothing changes
When you’re in this game*
A speculation long premature
This fine green leaf pulled to adore
From summer trees, it’s plucked and viewed
Then browns and dies from loss of food
This leaf pulled long before its time
We attempt to understand its sign
And may presume our knowledge true
But only autumn leaves are hue
As this dying leaf absorbs to Earth
It spits a mongrel from its girth
Stepped on by the ugly feet of man
Nature is the falling hand
Paralysis
Crouched up inside my little ball,
tightly wound to break the fall.
The music plays its calming notes,
but can't I dance on broken toes?
*I speak to nature,
but the peddles blow away.
I run to catch them
but all they do is sway.
Along the way
the mud it stole my shoes,
and the blood held in my feet
began to ooze.
What’s left to lose? *
I’m short while the trees are tall,
and this fruit will never fall.
It seems my shirt was never sowed,
as the worms on my chest begin to show.
*I speak to nature,
but the peddles blow away.
I run to catch them
but all they do is sway.
Along the way
the mud it stole my shoes,
and the blood held in my feet
began to ooze.
What’s left to choose? *
Reading lines of lies in dusty window cills,
the breeze comes in,
my house is filled
with chilling voices
from the hills of crows.
Go inside
but nowhere to hide,
the crown is stolen
from our shoes
and we lose
the row of dice
we'd kept in place
frozen in ice,
we lose the race.
Tears of Joy
Dyed my hair to match my purple tears,
it appears,
that choice is always such when living fears,
so cheers.
And fear of riding on this train,
for love I know it's all in vain.
*There are no purple tears in a world where life is pink,
there’s nothing left to throw away
in slowing down my sink.
So think,
of a world where hearts are pure,
just contemplate the idea of them
never keeping score.
A lore?
To pull you from your feel?
Is it true that nothingness makes truer one's ideals?*
In majesty there is no turning old,
heart sold,
but cowardice is never to be bold,
they fold.
And god I want to take this lane,
This nothingness keeps me insane.
*There are no purple tears in a world where life is pink,
there’s nothing left to throw away
in slowing down my sink.
So think,
of a world where hearts are pure,
just contemplate the idea of them
never keeping score.
A lore?
To pull you from your feel?
Is it true that nothingness makes truer one's ideals?*
Project Undoing
Deep down , and frozen
in a well of lost wishes,
a flicker of light
comes tumbling down,
and drops upon
my bed of oil,
all the dreams
burn to the ground.
*Between the lines,
but underneath,
still, emotion sword is sheathed.
See you here
but watch you go,
my heart designed to never show.
Coward is
a flightless man,
this headless journey not the plan.
Face is scalped
and brain is picked,
leave me here to suffer through it.*
See how I’m nothing
Without you to fall into
My life wasted here
Under this mound
The smell of me burning
The light in the distance
And since I am here
I may as well drown
*Between the lines,
but underneath,
still, emotion sword is sheathed.
See you here
but watch you go,
my heart designed to never show.
Coward is
a flightless man,
this headless journey not the plan.
Face is scalped
and brain is picked,
leave me here to suffer through it.*
I’m living in a darkened home
bolted to the floor of rock bottom.
I feed meat to my garden of weeds
And live in the dying seeds of autumn.
Winter never comes
and spring never blooms
I am forever alive
In this breathless tomb.
- by Icklejabob |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 09/13/2010 |
- Skip
- Title: My First Album
- Artist: Icklejabob
- Description: Well, ahem, problem is, I don't have a band..... hahaha
- Date: 09/13/2010
- Tags: first album
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