Dearest, Farewell

• Artist: tamagotchi-meow
• Description: I wrote this a while ago. Can also be seen on my blog: http://l-k-boll.tumblr.com
• Date: 02/26/2011
• Tags: dearest farewell

You promised me you’d love me,
You promised me you’d care,
You promised me you’d stick around-
Instead, you vanished into thin air.

You promised me you’d keep in touch
And write the occasional letter;
Instead, we’ve grown apart
Whether for the worse or for the better.

It’s been nearly several months now,
This time that you’ve been gone.
You left without a single “Goodbye”,
“’Till Later” or “So long!”

I wonder if you ever loved me,
Or if you ever really cared.
You broke your promise, you didn’t stay:
You left me alone and scared.

Once upon a time, I lived a happy life,
With you grinning by my side.
But since you left, I never got a chance to say it,
So I’ll say it now: “Goodbye.”

Comments

[ThievingNihilism]

I actually don't mind the rhyming, it has real emotion to it, and it has a nice steady tone. Got your point across without getting offensive or into so much detail that it sounded like you were just complaining. It sounded genuine, and it had a pretty smooth flow; which is what counts. And it's a really nice poem all-in-all and oddly comforting too, despite the subject.

[Angel Adrianus]

The flow is a little weird for me, sometimes you rhyme, sometimes you don't. The word choice doesn't seem very well thought out either... It's not awful or anything, it could have just used a little more thoughtfulness I think. The lines that bothered me the most were "With you grinning by my side" [I don't know... it just seems more foolish and less... caring or loving which is the impression you were trying to give I think] and "'Till later; or 'so long!''