Show me the world

• Artist: Ines Makenzie
• Description: For those who know the world :)
• Date: 06/04/2011
• Tags: show world

Show me force,
Show me strength,
Show me what lies beyond.

Show me will,
Show me grace,
Show me their eternal bond.

Show me heart,
Show me mind,
Show me how to shatter them al

Comments

[Vagabond_Sean]

It was great until the last line. You had some great rhyme and rhythm going and the last line ruined it. It would be better if you changed the last line to rhyme with the two other rhyming couplets!