• Who ever would have thought
    some one could be so excited
    for the worst day of their life?

    I had been looking forward to that day for so long,
    to spend the day with friends,
    to scream my throat out on roller coasters,
    and just enjoy myself

    I should have known things were bad from the start
    when I got jealous of my best friend with my ex
    watching them hold hands on the bus
    watching them walk together to the rides,
    watching them kiss right in front of me three times in a row,
    the only one to save me one of my friends,
    who could feel the awkwardness coming from me

    And then during lunch,
    seeing them sit together,
    seeing them happy together,
    realizing more with each second
    how big of a mistake I had made
    letting what were now realized to be overreactions fed
    by the one who was now in my place.

    I supposed that's what fueled me the first time,
    when the boys had all gone off
    and we were in a gift shop to take that first item.
    A mood necklace, a guitar one at that,
    shoved without notice into my bag when everyone was turned
    the bar code sticker ripped off once we left.

    I wanted to be just like her,
    just as bad as her,
    foolishly hoping that doing so would bring him back to me.

    In the next shop we went to,
    still full of the thrill of getting away,
    I wanted to do it again
    and she presented me with the opportunity.
    She picked up the item attempting to put it in her pocket,
    and I knew it wouldn't fit
    So I held out my bag, already tainted once,
    and she tainted it twice, putting the little pig inside

    We got caught, damn undercover cops,
    and are now in big trouble.
    I painted it out to be all her,
    and he said he would break it off with her because of it,
    and I was secretly happy,
    hoping I could maybe get him back.

    But it didn't work,
    because he gave her a second chance,
    meanwhile I realize I shouldn't have said it was okay,
    shouldn't have told her my fears,
    should have just opened up,
    should have realized that what he was doing was normal,
    and that I was the one who was too reserved.

    However, my revelations are too late,
    he is no longer mine,
    and it's probably good for him
    to no longer be involved with a monster
    such as me.