ATH Not-So-Temporary Thread

[Lady Mimicry]

He didn't know what to say. So, he didn't say anything. He didn't think he was in the right mindset to answer Clover. Besides, his interest were leaning more towards what his mother was creating.

Nursing his hand, he said, "Bring mom to me, please."  

[Felixitous]

He didn't see Clover's face go cold as she let him go and walked out. She went to Trigger and told her to see Tokka, then left the house. She'd put herself out there, and what had she gotten? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. After everything that had happened--she'd even thought the feelings she'd finally admitted to were reciprocated, how could she be so stupid?--she had gotten nothing in return. Even a hug or some kind of acknowledgement would have been nice. She tossed her lab coat in a trashcan as she walked and found her way to a bar. She'd never been drunk before, and today seemed like a good day to try it.



Trigger walked in to see Tokka and immediately started picking the splinters from his hand. He was more like her than she wanted him to be.

"Hey kid," she said. "Clover said you wanted to see me? She looked a little tense. What's up?" How are you doing? Does it hurt? Can I leave long enough to kill the a*****e that did this? You just didn't hurt her kids. Most of all, you didn't touch Tokka.  

[Lady Mimicry]

"I don't want an eyepiece," he said, "you made Dietrich, right? Then, you could make me a set of eyes? It'd be more discreet, nobody'd have to know that they were fake. Could you?" He hugged her, burying his face into her neck. "All I'll ever ask of you, momma."  

[Felixitous]

She bit her lip and hugged him back, kissing his head. "I'll try my best, but the eyepiece was only going to be temporary anyway, until Clover could actually fix it. Technology with the human system can only do so much, baby..." It killed her to see him like this.  

[Lady Mimicry]

A week later...

Clover hadn't returned since the 'incident' Tokka wasn't even aware of. Trigger had finished his eyepiece, which he never wore. He wanted the robotic eyes, which were a work in progress. Without Clover, the only thing that kept Tokka completely sane was the possibility of sight.

Today, Tokka was laying across his bed, the idea of movement was tiring. He searched lazily for his razor and--success! Grabbing the razor, he drew a line across his thigh, another to add to the pile he'd accumulated again. There was meaning behind now though. Days till he'd get back at Gareth.  

[Felixitous]

Clover came in that day, disheveled and reeking of alcohol. Her usually neatly straightened hair was loose and bushy, all over the place. One on her eyes had a black ring around it, and dried blood had crusted on her lip and cheek. She looked like hell.

Basil ran to her and dragged her into her room, setting her down and quickly trying to clean her up. "Jesus, big sister, one little upset and you leave for a week? That's not a good sign." After seeing that there was too much work to be done and too much dirt covering her sister, she stripped her and plunked her in the tub.

"I'm never opening up to anyone ever again," Clover said, voice monotone. "Except you, maybe."

"You damn well better," Basil said as she scrubbed her raw. "Believe it or not, you made Tokka feel better, and he made you human. You've been denying it since you were ten years old, but you two are perfect for each other. Now, you are going to get cleaned up, we are going to fix your face a little, maybe cover that shiner with some makeup, and you are going to get to work on fixing Tokka. Fixing people is what you do best, remember? If you can't get back in touch with that kind side of yourself--the one that smiled every now and then and cared about her patients--then just do it like a machine. A problem to be solved."

"Like a puzzle," she said, leaning her head against the wall. "I drank for the first time today."

"That was a week ago," Basil said, grimacing as she started to tear up. "All right, come on, let's get you dressed so you can get to work. At least think of something for right now. You won't even have to move."

Clover smiled bitterly. "Ironic thing? I already came up with something. I had an epiphany while I was lying in an alley in my own blood."

Basil sighed and sat her down. "This ought to be interesting."




In her room, Trigger was having about as good a time as Clover. There was just no way to fit all that machinery inside two separate spheres that fit in eye sockets. She slammed what she'd been working on against the wall and leaned her head on her ******** this," she said through tears. "I can't even help my own goddamn son."

"Clover's home," said a quiet voice. "She's got an answer."

She looked up and wiped her nose on her glove. "Thanks, Kit." She stood up, tried to look presentable, or at least not so bad as to terrify anyone. Then she went to see Tokka.  

[Lady Mimicry]

Tokka clenched his fist, ripping the blankets away and tossing them across the room. "Dammit," he growled, that sadness he carried now mingled with this un-satiable rage. His tempers were horrible before, but this, this was unbearable. Tokka rocked, burying his face into his pillow and grumbled.

"Mom, she hates me."

Elsewhere, Saber and Gabriel walked in, Justus draped over their shoulders. "Dad," Gabe yelled, "Dad!" His neck had fingerprints bruised into it, his body was black-and-blue, but the most gruesome injury was leg. His foot was at a grotesque and unnatural angle.

"One of his--playmates--didn't hear anything--we had to revive him and--and he hasn't woken up since. Dad, he's been really upset over Dietrich. He's gotten really, really reckless lately."  

[Felixitous]

Trigger sat beside him and placed her hand gently on his back, kissing his head. "She doesn't hate you," she said softly. "You're probably the one person she can't hate. She wishes she could hate you. But why else would she come back? She'd old enough and talented enough to actually get a job. But here she is, with a way to restore your eyesight that isn't some hunk of metal in your eye sockets." She hugged him tightly, cradling his head against her shoulder. "Let's go see her, all right?"



Aramis rushed forward and picked Justus up carefully, running him up to Clover's room.

Clover had just found her feet and wordlessly went about helping Justus. After a few short minutes, she had him awake and his leg set. During this time, Dietrich had come in. He looked fairly normal, but his expression--or the half that was visible--was blank.  

[Lady Mimicry]

"Fine," he said shakily, "but it won't change a damn thing." Tokka grabbed Trigger's hand, hoping she'd show him there. He really didn't want that eyepiece. Then again, he didn't think she'd mind holding his hand.

"Thanks, mom, for trying."

"Hey, Dietrich." Justus brushed his fingers along his neck, wincing. He didn't want to come home. He didn't want to see Dietrich. Seeing that blank expression only amplified the guilt that ate away at him. Idiots had to keeping him living, didn't?

"I--I need to leave," he said. When he tried to stand, the room started to spin and he dropped to his knees. Being Aramis' child, he didn't stop, but stubbornly continued on, crawling.  

[Felixitous]

Trigger led him there silently. ((And that's all I can really say there XD))

Clover grabbed Justus by the back of the shirt and dropped him back on the gurney. "Listen here, you little s**t," she hissed, "you are going to sit there and heal, because I just wasted a good roll of gauze on you otherwise. Now, there are people in this room that actually care if you live or die. At least have the decency to push on for them." She removed her gloves and tossed them in the trash, walking out briskly.

Dietrich stepped forward and looked Justus over, his gaze softening. "Trigger told me you blamed yourself," he said quietly. "But you had nothing to do with it. It was no one's fault. So don't blame yourself." He reached out and took his hand, smiling slightly.  

[Lady Mimicry]

"If I hadn't been such a ******** lech, you wouldn't have left," he said, "I spent hours looking for your arm. I've spent months hoping you'd be okay, but you aren't. Th-that look, it just isn't the same. I don't deserve your forgiveness."

He shook Dietrich's hand away and rolled over.

Meanwhile, Tokka stood by the door, listening. "I don't hear her," he said, "Mom, did you really drag me out of bed for nothing?" s**t.  

[Felixitous]

Dietrich sat beside him, at which point Aramis chose to leave. The mechanical clown took Justus' hand again, pressing it to his cheek.

"I don't know what that is--what did you call it? 'Lech'?--but it's not your fault." He sighed and looked down. "This has happened to me before. It's why I...I don't like being touched. But I am okay. This sort of thing happens. It's unfortunate that it does, but it's true. And there is no erasing the past--well, there is, what with the time mages--but there is no natural way to do it. So you move on. You work past it. Trigger helped a little by erasing bits of my memory. I guess that's the benefit of being a machine." He moved Justus' hand so that it was pressed to the corner of his lips, where a small smile could be felt. "But I asked her to leave you. I like you."



Trigger sighed and opened the door. "Trust me, she's in there." She nodded to Aramis as he exited, and led Tokka inside, past Dietrich and Justus, and into Clover's bedroom.

Clover lay on the bed, hand covering her eyes. "Get the light, would you?" she asked. She didn't seem perturbed that they had come in.

Trigger flipped the switch and looked at her in the little light left. "A little cat told me you've got a solution."

"Yes," Clover replied. "Several. One that was my breakthrough and some failsafes."

She still smelled slightly of whiskey, and appeared to be somewhat hungover. She was raw, all of the warmth and kindness she'd built up worn away, leaving only the bare bones of the person she'd become, angry and detached. But despite this, she was burning inside. She'd discovered what it was like to be hit on while she was away. She'd discovered what it was like to have someone be too pushy and try to stick their hand down her pants. She'd discovered what it was like to murder that man, kill him with her bare hands, feel his blood trickle down between her fingers as she watched his eyes slowly dim. She'd made a truce with Death while she'd been gone. She'd decided he could have the ones that didn't deserve the miracle that was life, but she got the rest.

But there was another fire. Something still existed somewhere inside her that wanted to care. Something extant, hiding in her ribs wanted to take Tokka by the shoulders and kiss him, to open her up again to the pain and the hurt, but also to the wonderful feeling when he'd held her hand, or just talked to her. But then, it was hard to work past the anger and the hurt that was already there. Logically, she knew she was in the wrong. He'd reacted just as anyone in that position would. He'd lost his eyes to a madman, for goodness' sakes, to the same madman that had created the blasphemy that ran through Trigger's veins. Thinking on it, she wasn't angry any more. She didn't have even the remote right to be.

But she still hurt.

Trigger almost thought Clover might die there of pure will. But then Clover sat up (too quickly, she was dizzy, but it would pass) and stood. "Well, come on, aren't we going through with this?"

She took them to an unoccupied room and had Trigger lay Tokka on the bed. She wanted the least amount of contact with him as possible. It would make the process easier.

"Get Zero in here. Complete reversal is one of the backups I had in mind," she said as she gathered her materials. Trigger nodded and went to get him. She hoped Clover knew what she was doing.

But, for all that, Clover herself hoped she knew what she was doing. Little made sense to her at all now. She looked at Tokka and sighed.

"I'm going to remove the bandages," she said, her voice clinical and doctorly. Still, beneath that, one could hear her concern loud as a bell. "What I've got in mind is probably going to hurt. What it amounts to is regrowing your eyeballs. They'll work better than any prosthetics, and not only will they look natural, they'll be natural."

He's the only one that ever really cared, something in her head said. Don't lose him now.

Just shut the ******** up and let me do my job, she responded, before she realized that she wasn't just talking to herself. She was talking to herself inside her head.

She shook it and looked at Tokka again. "Tell me when you're ready."  

[Lady Mimicry]

Justus looked Dietrich over, looking for any sign of falsehood, but when he didn't, he leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "I-I like you too, babe," Justus replied, "and I'll never let anything happen to you. Ever." Despite aching all over, Justus shifted just enough so that he could lay across Dietrich's lap.

"You don't mind staying, do you?"

Elsewhere...

"Clover," Tokka said, "I'm sorry. I should've said something, anything, to you. I was too self-centered and I wish I could been there for you. Hell, you done so much for me already." He wanted to continue, but Zero walked in then.

"Ready."

Zero brushed Tokka's hair behind his ear and smiled. "Hey, kiddo," he said, his irises disappeared until his eyes were completely white, "Tell me, what do you want to see first? When you wake?"

"Clover, blushing when I tell her how beautiful she is."

"Good, good," Zero brushed his fingers through Tokka's hair, eye time he began to relax further and further. "Sleep," he whispered, "sleep."

When Tokka slept, Zero pressed his hand over the eye sockets. The temperature dropped and ice encased Zero's hand. Tokka squirmed, whimpering, but otherwise, didn't wake. "Hush, love, hush."  

[Felixitous]

Dietrich tensed at first, but smiled and petted Justus's head as he laid on him. "Of course I don't mind staying." He bit his lip and looked away, then looked back down at him. "If I was ugly, would you still like me? Or even half-ugly? Really ugly?"



Clover blinked. She suddenly didn't have that hurt, and she wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault, she was being petty and insensitive, and she almost did when Zero came in instead.

When Tokka named his request, though, she did blush and hid it by turning away to ready her tools.

She hadn't really expected Zero to be so proactive. She'd considered reversal as a sort of last resort, but numbing like that might work. Might also completely screw things up. She didn't know what this would do to frozen nerves.

"Hold him still," she said, turning back to them. "This will literally regrow his eyes. The process is quick, but painful for about an hour afterwards." She sighed and moved Zero's hand, pouring a milky blue solution over his eye sockets. She'd seen empty eye sockets before, but one dead people. It wasn't so disturbing then. She frowned and walked away a minute, then came back and wrapped bandages over his head. "Best he keep them closed for now. It'll help the healing process."