Tell us about your day. -cuz we love to listen-

[KirbyVictorious]

o.o cool.  

[BlackHawkGS]

Tak-Jak

Im running away for a few days.
Don't come and find me.

You will only hear voices in the wind.

eek

Well, I don't think anyone here is close enough to visit you in the first place... but is there any reason for the running away-ness? At least run away to someplace worth while.  

[KirbyVictorious]

I think she meant for spring break, she's gonna be away from civilization for awhile.  

[Tak-Jak]

Not really.. Spring Break is going to suck.
My teachers assigned too much work for me to put it off till the last minute.

And I am stuck moving my sister home.. Well partially.
I am dying to run. To say piss off to the family and just go.

The only one the semi understands me anymore is Matt.
But even he looks at me like I am utterly insane at times.  

[KirbyVictorious]

You forgot about your other fam, Rem. We have huge cognitive powers, whenever you need us. And the last thing we can possibly be is judgemental.




Okay, sorry people, bear with me here...you don't have to listen or anything, but just had this terrible awful horrible dream and I need to talk to someone, so....

It was one of those half-dreams, the kind you get when you're almost awake that you remember all day, those kind hurt the most. I haven't been able to write Ametris in a long, long time, even though I have so many ideas, that story died in about January and I don't know if it will ever come back. But in my dream, I was back in my world, in the field where Kamile died (not worried about spoilers for a story that won't ever exist) and for once, instead of being invisible there, the silent observer and god, I had a form; I was real. I was small, my hair was a bit longer, I was dressed like an Ametrisan; and I felt like I was finally home.

But then Kamile and Everan were there, (they were fine), and they could finally see me; I wanted to talk to them, but they accused me of controlling their enemies, being the one who had always hurt them...hatred was practically pouring out of their eyes. I tried to defend myself, tried to tell them that I didn't make the story up, I just wrote it down, but they didn't believe me; and when I told them that I'd leave, and they could just continue with their story, Kamile started screaming at me and said that she wasn't letting me do it anymore, she wasn't listening to a word I said, she was going to live her life her own way and do whatever she wanted to.

It wasn't the Kamile I'd known for so long. And what she did next was even worse: she said she didn't want to be "forced" to love her own brother (for those unfamiliar with Ametris, they aren't related) and fulfill some sick fantasy that I wanted to live, or something like that, and she ran off; both Everan and I knew that she'd found another boy and wanted to live a normal life with him.

She left us alone; Everan had this look on his face like his heart had been ripped out. And I couldn't stand it--hadn't I written about that pain so many times? They were never supposed to be separated! So I went up to him and reached for him, I wanted to hug him, I started to tell him that everything would be fine, I'd stay with him so he wouldn't be lonely--

But then he pulled away from me, and gave me that LOOK, that I'm-going-to-tear-you-to-pieces, burn-in-hell look that he gave all his worst enemies...he hated me. And I loved him. He pushed me so hard that it would have left bruises and spat that he'd rather DIE than be with me. And he knew what exactly dying included--for him it was never painless or easy. And then he pointed after Kamile, I could see that he still loved her and he was going to let her go, and said that he knew what would happen, Kamile was going to pick someone completely wrong for her, she'd made a terrible choice and it was all my fault. He said that now, thanks to me, everyone was going to be lonely, he and Kamile and that boy and me, and I...I would ALWAYS be lonely, as long as I lived.

And then I woke up.

Worst part? He's right. He's completely right.

I think I'm going to cry.  

[Teen_Goddess]

It's okay, Kirbs. It's just a dream. And he's not right. Dreams are rarely ever right. They tell you what you are thinking, whether unconsciously or consciously, and you obviously are thinking that he's right and you are just trying to throw yourself into that pit of self hatred. But it's not worth it. It wastes years of your life, and even though you learn a lot from it, it's something you'd really rather not go through just to learn that somewhere in the world there actually is someone that cares about you, that would do anything for you, that loves you. It's just a dream. And I know you won't listen to me, because I never listened to anyone either, but it's just a dream and it doesn't matter. You don't have to listen. You don't ever have to listen if you don't want, and if you want to, then you're in for a long and hard journey and it's going to be very very lonely. And I can only hope that it has a good end. Some people don't make it that far. I hope you don't have to go through any of that though. Remember, it's just a dream.  

[BlackHawkGS]

[Note: I read all that. In case you didn't think I would biggrin ]

Kirby, this is actually really strange. I seriously had something similar happen...

The figments of my imagination just put me on trial. Yeah, it was weird (not a dream) and they accused me of murder. They were all there; the whole Wingless cast, the little wizard boy I wrote about in fifth grade, the lightsaber hero I wrote about in middle school, the random polar bear who shows up... they were all there.

And... I was found guilty... of killing the Chimera... (for those whom don't know, Chimera can be used as another word for "imagination")

And... I was carried off by guards to be killed...

Brian and Spyke remained in the court room afterwards. My first two creations. The two boys who had been with me since day one. At least they still cared... but they didn't know what they should do anymore.

I wrote it down, but it was shitty writing.


... so yeah, I sort of know what you're feeling, Kirby. To have the ones you hold dear, your own imagination, hate you... sooo much hate...

I think I'm gonna go cry as well.  

[KirbyVictorious]

Thanks, Teen. crying That was kinda pretty.

Nick: gonk I read that. And ti was sad, except for the pikachu part, which was really funny, but also kind of sad. *hug*

I wish they wouldn't mix real life and stories though. Everan meant in real life, forever. And i know what he meant, and he was right. I did ruin it all.

Sigh.  

[Galladonsfire]

I don't know if my opinion on this would be welcomed but regardless I wouldn't mind posting my thought as I always do...

You mentioned to me one time that these are both personalities that portray a deeper you. Right now and probably over a long period of time these two personalities have been fighting 1) Kamile wanting freedom. 2) Everan wanting to hold on to the past. They both are lonely spirits that want only each other yet they can't seem to come to terms. What needs to occur is that the real you needs to step out and choose the fate of what is to occur. The better outcome for both of them to face. Regardless of what anyone or you think, theres always a good option that will fix all the problems.. You need time and patience with the will to think this out. Whats most important is you right here. You need to choose what will benefit you the most and fix this whole situation that is waging war in your mind. It will be tough and a lonely fight as Teen said, but remember you will not be alone unless you believe you are.  

[Tak-Jak]

I do not believe in the word of Family.

"Doubt truth to be a liar."
- William Shakespeare
Hamlet

 

[KirbyVictorious]

Thanks, MD, but i dont think that's the right outlook on it.

Teen, no one's asking you to be in our family, but don't criticize. Technically it's MY family anyway, so only my opinion matters. *grrowl*  

[NovaKing]

KirbyVictorious

only my opinion matters. *grrowl*

That's a wonderful thought. I suggest you soak that thought in, and bask in the meaning it holds in regards to your dream.  

[NovaKing]

BlackHawkGS

[Note: I read all that. In case you didn't think I would biggrin ]

Kirby, this is actually really strange. I seriously had something similar happen...

The figments of my imagination just put me on trial. Yeah, it was weird (not a dream) and they accused me of murder. They were all there; the whole Wingless cast, the little wizard boy I wrote about in fifth grade, the lightsaber hero I wrote about in middle school, the random polar bear who shows up... they were all there.

And... I was found guilty... of killing the Chimera... (for those whom don't know, Chimera can be used as another word for "imagination")

And... I was carried off by guards to be killed...

Brian and Spyke remained in the court room afterwards. My first two creations. The two boys who had been with me since day one. At least they still cared... but they didn't know what they should do anymore.

I wrote it down, but it was shitty writing.


... so yeah, I sort of know what you're feeling, Kirby. To have the ones you hold dear, your own imagination, hate you... sooo much hate...

I think I'm gonna go cry as well.

Are you sure you weren't being tried for stealing the crumpets?
ARe you sure your name wasn't alice?

One pill makes you larger
and the other makes you small
and the pills that mother gives you
dont do anything at all
go ask alice
when she's ten feet tall

And when you go chasing rabbits
and your mind begins to fall
tell 'em a hooka smoking catipiler
has given you the call
recall alice
when she was just small

When the men on the chess board
get up and telll you where to go
and you've just had some kinda mushroom
and your mind is moving low
go ask alice
I think she'll know

when logic and proportion
have fallen sloppy dead
and the white knight's talking backwards
and the red queen's "off with her head"
REMEMBER WHAT THE DORMOUSE SAID

FEED YOUR HEAD!

FEED YOUR HEAD!!

-"White rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane, and sung by grace slick who was the most amazing hippie singer ever.  

[KirbyVictorious]

Gee thanks Austin.  

[NovaKing]

KirbyVictorious

Gee thanks Austin.

Would you preffer silence Rose?