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I also noticed that there is a lot of summary in the paper. There are almost two pages of plot summary of Twilight alone, and this takes up valuable space that could be used to discuss the significance of examining the text in terms of the myths being discussed. Because Twilight is not one of the required texts for the class, it is important not to spend more time discussing this novel than the two that are required.
The only summary part I know about is the section about Twilight. And I know I could probably work more with that part... so okay...

There are a few topical issues that I found unclear or confusing. After reading paragraph two, I’m not sure why the myth of K’wati is important in the context of this paper. Be sure to explain the significance of this. I also am unsure of how the myth relates to the separate societies, or how these ideas relate to the novel Fools Crow. Also, be sure to name the author any time you are introducing a book. The connection between the myth, Fools Crow, and the Twilight novels also needs to be strengthened so that the reader knows how all of these ideas work together. Additionally, I found the discussion of the Tiaga people on page 4 rather confusing; I’m not sure who they are or how they relate back to the Quileute people/Twilight/Fools Crow. I also found the discussion of identity, myth, culture at the bottom of page 5 unclear. While the discussion of generational differences, knowing oneself through knowing one’s ancestry, and the importance of tradition was very interesting, it didn’t seem to fit well in that particular paragraph and it was not directly related back to the main ideas of the paper clearly. Make sure to tie this section back to the novels in a way that’s clear and concise.

You're not sure how the myth of K'wati is important? Hello! It's the myth of where the Quileutes come from! The wolves are the Quileutes. There was no humans there until K'wati transformed the wolves into humans. It's all there. Seriously! rolleyes As for Fools Crow, you would've known how it connects with the novel because I said that due to the Quileutes' connection with the wolves, their warrior society does a wolf dance. The tribe in Fools Crow does a similar thing. The mentioning the author's name - fine, I can do that. Then she goes on to Power where I mention the Tiaga people... you don't know how it relates? My goodness! I'm really starting to question why you're even a tutor if you can't string the facts together when they're laid out and explained pretty well right in front of you! The Tiaga people are the Tiaga people - they're another tribe addressed in the novel. How do they relate back to the Quileute people? The Tiaga people consider themselves to be the Panther Clan - in other words, that they came from panthers. Just like how the Quileutes believe they come from wolves. To Twilight? I quote the part about Aunt Ama where the Tiaga people believe she's not really human, but an animal that's taken the form of a human ((Quileutes' wolf-to-human theory))... and they have the beliefs that people can change into animals, and animals can change into humans. Twilight? Duh! The wolves in their myth become human, the Quileute boys become wolves. *rolls eyes*

Due to the constraints of email and working on the computer, there are some local issues that there are not space to discuss. Make sure to go through your paper and double check for run-on and incomplete sentences as there are a few. For example, paragraph two page 4 line 1 is a run on sentence. Additionally, make sure to avoid contractions. Instead of typing “isn’t”, write out “is not” – this is standard MLA format for academic papers. Also, not all of your quotes have citations and some of incomplete citations. Go back through the paper and check each quote that you have for proper citation.

Oh, I guess that is a run-on sentence. But remember darling, this is a rough draft. So be easy, okay. And find I'll avoid the whole contraction stuff. *rolls eyes**sighs* As for the citation thing - the reason why not all of the quotations have citations is because most of the time I'm using the same page number. Instead of filling a paragraph with a repeating page citation, I was taught to only cite something if you cite something different (such as a different page number or a different source). whee

You know, in all the times that I wrote papers in college, I never once used the writing center. The problem I found (even though I never experienced it first hand) was that, while we may use the same format, we still have a different way of writing/constructing our ideas and points in our papers depending upon what class we are writing it for. I was an anthropology major, and while I cited, added footnotes, etc. the same way as other classes, putting together my ideas and making my points were not always so similar.
A few of my friends went to the writing center and said that the people who helped them acted superior and made them feel as though they had no idea what they were talking about, rather than giving constructive criticism. I'm sure it isn't always this way, and sometimes it just depends on the person who is helping you, but I think some of these things that are in place to help us aren't always as helpful as they could be. I always preferred meeting with my professor, which was easy, thankfully, because my class sizes were always small.

I've never used the Writing Center myself either, but for my class, we're required to contact them and include their response with our final and rough draft.

Yeah, it does change upon person to person. For my first essay, the tutor that responded to my e-mail was quite nice. At least nicer than this second tutor. *shrugs* Personally I prefer having in-class workshops for the essays. Probably because, despite being of different majors and what not, we're all pretty much on the same level of writing skills... and we're familiar with the same texts. I just feel that in-class workshops provide more advice that is more helpful, or people help you form better ways of wording things - especially with the thesis.

Slowly working the section revolving around Twilight to be smaller... and to add more tie-ins to the Quileute myth and other texts.

Finished doing the major editing... now I'm going back through again, because I need to narrow it down to 6 pages of text... not 7. whee This is the same problem I had last time with the first rough draft. Bleh...

I still have a paragraph to go until my essay is back to six pages.