The Queen of Hearts (Buttpirates)

[Amazon]

...said the Captain to his mother.

...le dice el Capitan a su madre.

..."But it works, sir!" She gasped.

..."Pero si que functiona, usted!" Ella---

THUMP

Surprised, Allen's quill went flying, knocking the ink pot over.

"No!" Blue eyes wide, he vainly tried to salvage what was left of his translation. He needed it. Or more accurately he need the money it would bring him. It was too late though, half the sheet was covered in pooling ink.

"You insufferable oaf! Do you know what your clumsiness has cost me?!" Allen glared at the man who had invaded his table while trying to blot the ink as best he could.

The man was the opposite of Allen. Allen was blonde and clean shaven, this man had black hair and at least a day's growth of beard. Allen had a once fine waist coat, the man had shabby well worn sailor's clothes. Allen was bristling with fury and desperation, the man was reclined back and perfectly comfortable.

"Ah, pardon, I did not mean to startle you. It is just all of the other tables were full." Beneath the french accent was an honest frankness.

Allen sighed. "No, it's alright. It was an accident. I'm sorry." Deflated, he sank back down into his chair, resting his head in his hands.

The Frenchman hesitated for a moment. Leon wasn't a smart man, but he did understand people. And from what he could tell the young man across from him was about to crack. "Come monsieur, how about a drink?"

"How will that help me?" Allen muttered darkly from behind his hands. A drink wouldn't buy him food or rent. But no, he was being an a** again. "Forgive me sir, I seem to not be myself. A drink would be lovely."

Leon grinned and caught the eye of the wench. He held up his half empty glass then two fingers. She got the hint and went back behind the bar.

Manners had dictated so much of Allen's former life, it was still easy to fall back on them. "I am Allen Steward, formerly of the Bristol Stewards, but now find myself as part of the penniless, landless Stewards." He smiled bitterly.

"Leon Toussaint." The Frenchman said simply, shaking the offered hand.  

[Felixitous]

It was then that a small, grumpy woman burst in, muttering under her breath. She happened to pass by the wench on her way to bringing drinks to Leon and Allen, and swiftly reached up, grabbed them, and began chugging them. She found a place at the bar and sat, glaring at the wall. This would be the last of their money. At least the children were less likely to drink, and wouldn't be doing it on Cole's tab.

Cole followed shortly, not surprised that Amalia had already gotten started. He pulled his hair down and stuck the tie in his pocket, then attempted to get closer to the front. He didn't manage to get there, though. On the way, he was shoved, pushed, pulled, and eventually landed on Allen's table, trying not to laugh. He didn't, however, smile at the new ink stain on his shirt. He looked at Allen, then at Leon, then back to Allen. "You wouldn't happen to have anything that might get this out, would you? I look far less professional than I did a moment ago."  

[Amazon]

Leon watched what appeared to be an angry woman enter and take their drinks. The Frenchman just laughed and shrugged helplessly when he caught the barmaid's eye. These things happened.

Allen, however, had a polite scowl on his face that rapidly changed into shock as a man went flying onto their table, too fast for Allen to grab his papers. The minute the man straightened up however he quickly began collecting them.

The man was talking to him. "Pardon? The ink? Oh, sorry sir, no. Nothing short of repeated washing. And even then it retains a certain purple colour." Evidence to his statement, the sleeves of his coat had more then a few ink stains and there was even a smudge on his cheek from earlier.

"Well Monsieur, if your shirt cannot be saved I'm afraid you might have to go without it." Leon teased playfully. "After all, it is the man that makes the clothing, not the other way around."

The blonde shook his head prudishly and resumed collecting papers.  

[Felixitous]

Cole couldn't help the grin that came creeping over his face. "Quite right. I am Captain Damien Cole, captain of the Queen of Hearts. And you?" He directed it at both of the men. If nothing else, he might find a "friend" for the night. If he was lucky, though, he'd have a new hand on the Queen.

It helped that Allen was exceptionally striking, even while glowering.  

[Miss Ennui]

The young Russian stuck close to Jack as they entered the smoky pub, following the good captain and his mate. His eyes were wide as dinner plates as he looked around, no longer wary but excited. They had pubs and taverns in Russia, yes - more than you could count, and despite being young, Anton might have well been raised on vodka - but they were nothing like this dirty portside shack.

For one thing, in Russia, the tavern in his village was the only social gathering place besides church. Everyone knew everyone there, and you were as welcome at one man's table as the next. Here, though - strangers lurked at every turn, glowering faces obscured by cloaks mulled about in the shadows.

Then there was the charged atmosphere that could be felt the minute you stepped in. It felt as though a brawl was only moments away from taking place, and judging by the state of a few of the tables and chairs, a few already had.

Not looking where he was going, Anton walked straight into the Captain's back with a surprised oof.  

[Amazon]

"Leon Toussaint." The Frenchman took the lead. "And this is Allen. Tell me, monsieur, are you in need of crew? I know my way around ships and mon ami, lui," he glanced at Allen and the papers clutched protectively to his chest, "he can learn."

This was met by another scowl from the blonde followed by a resigned sigh. Truth be told, he needed the money. Desperately. Any job was better than what he had right now.

"I admit sir, I am not a sailor. I am a scholar. I will try my best, for whatever that is worth." He didn't exactly sound pleased, hard labour wasn't something he was used to or good at.

Leon raised an eyebrow and smiled. "You never told me that, mon ami. Can you read maps? Charts?"

Allen caught on to his train of thought. "Yes, yes, my uncle taught me. Longitude, latitude, star charts, maps..."

"Monsieur, what would you say to a sailor and navigator?" Leon fixed the Captain with a winning smile. Allen was busy watching a young man walk into the Captain's back.  

[Felixitous]

Cole put his arm around Anton's shoulders to show he knew him. "Sounds quite reasonable to me, good sir. This here is another new recruit, Anton. I'm thinking this one might make a good cabin boy. Seems eager enough." He ruffled the boy's hair, chuckling. "Well, it seems I'll have to retrieve my friend from the drinks. She'd be sailing with us, as well, so if either of you are uncomfortable with a woman on board, speak now." He'd never had a problem sailing with women. Then again, some would say he brought the same amount of bad luck.

A small blond head peeked up from the back of the tavern, listening intently. A ship? They sneaked around to listen better, but blended in well enough not to be noticed.  

[Miss Ennui]

"Privet," Anton said shyly, embarrassed at his clumsiness and at having been thrust into the limelight. He looked up at the two new men seated at the table. One of them looked like what Anton imagined a sailor would look like, from the tales he had read back on the farm, strong and rough looking.

The other one looked like he was at home in the tavern to the same extent that a fieldmouse would look at home in a hawk's nest. For some reason, this endeared him to Anton, who for all his eagerness had spent his life on solid ground in a land-locked country.  

[Amazon]

It was suspiciously easy, all of it. Allen didn't want to allow the feeling of relief to settle in. "That's all? No contracts? No credentials?" He asked the Frenchman, who seemed to know far more about this sort of thing.

Leon shrugged and grinned. "You get used to it."

"Of course." Allen said because it was polite to drop it, even if he didn't necessarily believe it.

Leon gave him a clap on the shoulder, grabbed his carpet bag off the floor and nodded to the captain. He was ready to go. Ah? The woman who had taken their drinks was another member of the crew? Leon liked her already. "Ah Monsieur, I sailed under one of the finest ladies in France. Well, technically I sailed under her husband, but everyone knew she was in charge. It was a good voyage, that." He couldn't help but smile a little. He'd sailed under both of them and those couple nights near the end had spent time under both of them. It was a good voyage.

Allen busied himself putting away the remains of his little writing station. The bottle was wiped and sealed, the quill lovingly wrapped in cloth, the papers neatly tied together with a long piece of twine. Next he would need to fuss about putting them in his bag without crumpling them. It was then he noticed the boy, Anton, watching him. The blonde smiled politely. "Hello. My name is Allen. How do you do?"  

[Felixitous]

Cole laughed heartily as he released Anton. "Credentials? No pirate of any measure has a good set of those." Which was a bit of a fib. Until he'd started stowing away on pirate ships, he'd been a nice, calm young man, which impressive roots and such. But they didn't need to know that.

He walked over to the bar and picked Amalia up. She spit out her beer in surprise, then started swearing and hitting Cole's arms. "Put me down, ya damned imbecile!"

Her taller friend merely laughed. "We're leaving, my pet. Four may not have been able to sail a ship, but I think six is enough, don't you?"

She looked over Cole's shoulder to where he directed. "Those two? I can see why you like th' one for crew, but the other's a bit limp, and testy-lookin' ta boot."

"It's been suggested that he navigates well. Now, I'd like to leave before you get us in trouble."

"Trouble? You mean like an angry, burly barman with beer al over his face lookin' like he wants to kill me?"

"Somethin' like that."

"Too late."

The pair ducked as a massive fist swung over their heads. It connected instead with the face of the man next to them, who in turn threw a punch, which hit someone else, eventually ensuing in an all-out fight.

"Time to leave!" Cole dragged Amalia along, grabbing his small recruits on the way. He figured Leon at least would know how to dodge a fight, and be able to get Allen out as well. If they couldn't, well, better they weren't on his ship, as Amalia would say.  

[Princess Pachabel]

[I made it back with most of my body parts! Hooray!]

Jack shadowed the small group as they entered a pub. Pubs made Jack uncomfortable for too many reasons, though he had only actually been inside one. Once was too much, though, and Jack has steered clear of them since.

Resisting the urge to cluch to someone, Jack instead fidgeted with his shirt while he glanced around cautiously, almost daring something to happen. He remained silent and unseen, one of his best and most useful skills, while he kept his sharp lookout. Too many shifty characters, too many raucous laughs, too many drinks being handed around.

As he predicted, a fight had inevitably broken out. Jack instictivly ducked for cover, but was clutched and rushed out of the pub by an unknown hand. A rough escape was better than no escape. Jack clutched the hand that had him as his blue eyes darted around like a frightened owl's. He knew bar fights often rolled outside.  

[Miss Ennui]

"How...do you do," Anton parroted back. In his limited knowledge, conversations in English had rarely gone far before the other party dismissed him as a stupid foreigner, so Anton had no idea what the right thing to say was.

Luckily, he was relieved from doing so by the spontaneous and predictable fight that broke out near him, and he was, along with Jack, quite literally swept along by the captain.

How very fast-paced being a pirate was! He hadn't even seen the deck of a ship yet, but there already was adventure. All this running around, fighting - Anton liked it.  

[Amazon]

Conversation with the boy was cut short as the Captain hauled him away. Allen blinked, momentarily taken aback, before putting a few things together. Most importantly that the mood of the room had taken a turn for the worst. He looked over to the frenchman for advice, only to find him grinning ear to ear.

"Leon?"

"Up we get, mon ami." The other man stood and grabbed Allen's arm, pulling him along. "Bon. The trick, you see, is not to fight it. A brawl is like the tide, learn it's rhythm and keep moving." In demonstration, Leon began to lead him out, moving here, side stepping there. He smacked a man across the face with his carpet bag, sending him falling across a table before resuming his walk. "Voyez-vous?"

Allen just nodded and followed closely behind him. He wasn't frightened, not exactly. It was all happening too fast. The blonde had fenced before many a time, that that had always been against one opponent. This... this was chaos. And his new friend seemed perfectly at home.

Snatching a bottle of wine off the barmaid's tray while she punched a drunken sailor, Leon managed to guide them outside, only stopping once in a while to punch, push or shove someone out of the way.

They staggered out onto the street. Allen was slightly wide eyed but otherwise calm. And Leon... Leon was still grinning like a madman. He spotted the captain and dragged the blonde over. "That was fun, non?"  

[Felixitous]

((I HAVE BEEN OPENING THIS UP AND MEANING TO REPLY FOR DAYS. I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.))

For all his elegance, Cole was not the brightest man. He let himself get distracted by what seemed to be an oddly familiar face lurking somewhere at the back of the brawl, and as such, didn't see the unconscious man lying on the ground. He stumbled spectacularly on his way out the door, rolling into a dusty heap on the street. Amalia ran after, begrudgingly grabbing at Anton and Jack and throwing them out with him. They hadn't even set sail and there was trouble!

"Come on, you pox-faced bilge rats, get your sorry arses out of there!" she shouted harshly at Leon and Allen, then exited the fight herself. On any other day, she might stay and have herself a grand time slamming faces into walls and gutting drunken idiots and dragging their bodies behind the building, but there were children involved, as well as a shocking lack of revenue. The sooner they set off, the better.

Cole was too busy laughing to take much notice of his tiny friend. He lay on the ground trapped in convulsions of laughter--until, of course, he realized that his head was right next to a pile of manure. He bolted up and looked at his young comrades with a sheepish smile.

"Looks like you two will be in for quite the exciting time, eh?" he said. He stood up and brushed himself off, frowning at the excessive dust. "Well, we'd best wait for our new recruits a bit farther from here. As seen by our grand exit, this may follow us."  

[Princess Pachabel]

[No worries!]

It was only after Amalia spoke that Jack realized how afraid of her he should be. The woman could probably crush his skull with her thighs! There was little time left to be in fear of her, though, as Jack had other things to be afraid of at the moment.

Almost before Cole could finish his sentence, Jack nodded hastily in agreement. The farther, the better.