Editing & Revising

[The Real Mandaleigh96]

This is the section for people who like to help writers edit/revise their work in exchange for gold, or for people who need their stories edited/revised. smile  

[xXxdarling_chaosxXx]

can anyone help me?

as you open the door
you see me there on the floor
i have fulfilled my will to die
but you continue to wonder why

it wasn't a bullet from a gun
yet it wouldn't take more than one
it was from a slowly breaking heart
but not from being apart

along with my dream to die
came an urge to cheat and lie
i took a shot in the dark
and managed to hit my mark

its over now
you stare and "how?"
but i'm laying there dead
an end to the miserable life ive lead....