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 Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 10:05 pm
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Hi everyone! My name is Brittany, I'm a 22 year old college senior who studies graphic design and Spanish. I'm also graduating this fall. Thanks for inviting me to this guild! I don't really sign onto Gaia much anymore, I used to use it a lot in my early teens, but I tend to come back every so often. This place makes me happier when life sucks because it brings back memories.
I have depression and anxiety. I also have ADD and although I'd rather deal with ADD any day than the other stuff, it does effect me a lot still.
Recently my depression and anxiety have been hitting hard again. I don't tell anyone my problems in real life, except my boyfriend, because literally no one really cares >.< or maybe they just don't understand or know how to deal with it, so I always pretend i'm perfectly happy. But I wanted to find a place online possibly to talk to others who deal with this stuff. And lately I haven't been sleeping at all or eating as much. I think faking being happy and social in college has effected my mental health a lot and maybe my physical because I'm underweight and always so tired. I'm like the opposite of a stress eater, but not anorexic...
Currently I don't see a doctor/therapist because when I do they try to tell me I need medication. And maybe I do, but i'm too scared to try it, I have this weird fear/anxiety over medication. It might be based on a bad experience as a kid. I'd love to talk to someone who takes medication, maybe learning about others' experiences will help me take that step! I recently reached a milestone just by starting medication for ADD - but i don't take it everyday either - sometimes i skip a whole week. I also have a hard time trusting other people with my problems, even a therapist. So I stopped therapy. I have a fear of telling people things. I literally only trust my boyfriend. I really want to change that and try getting help again someday.
Anyways I don't know if this is an overthetop introduction! I saw people posting both long and short intros, so I hope this is fine smile
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2016 11:49 pm
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2016 2:59 pm
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Zusu Hi I'm Zusu. I'm shy and quiet. I've never been good at making friends. When I was little I was too blunt and said things that were hurtful without realizing it. It was the "evil one." When I became more aware of things I did change however but I was left with the fear that people wouldn't like me. Because of this I became more quiet and kept to myself since I was told I was annoying. Having a twin has also been an issue mostly because people always compared me and my sister. I was the evil one and she was the good one. I felt like I was always in her shadows. She was always the more sociable one and the one people liked more. I had friends through association but I never felt like anyone was really my friend. After high school I started to become more active online and try to make friends the problem that I had though is that every time I felt like I was getting closer to someone people drifted away from me. Other times I felt invisible because people only turned to me when they needed help and then I wouldn't hear from them again until another problem arise. A part of me kinda misses that though because at least back then I still had some contact with people but now it feels like I don't have any friends or anyone to talk to. While I was in college I did went to counseling. I attended support groups to help with my shyness and with building self-esteem but over the past year since I graduated I feel like I lost all the progress that I made. I've been having issues with my bf. Last week I told him how I've been having trouble coping with my feelings and how nothing I did seem to lift my moods and he blocked my number told me I needed help. Said not to talk to him until I do. That to me hurt. I thought he better than anyone would understand since he too suffers from depression but he didn't. We did talk since then and he apologized and that he freaked out because he felt he couldn't help me. We are trying to work things out but it's been rough. With his new job we have been spending less time together and I feel like being in a long distance relationship doesn't make things any easier. He feels like I'm not being supportive because I've been giving him a hard time about us not spending as much time together. So I guess that's something I want to work on. Right now I'm just trying to find ways to cope with my depression better. I called my doctor that I used to see when I was in college for support. I can't see him anymore since I'm not a student but I'm hoping he could send me in the right direction. I'm also grateful to be a part of this guild and I hope that I can get some of the support that I feel I'm lacking.
It is nice to meet you Zuzu. I can definitely relate to you with the whole bf situation. I know that it is tough to work on your relationship at the same time trying to work on yourself. I am usually not great with advice but I am a darn good listener. If you ever want to talk and I know members aren't as active as I planned, you are more than welcome to pm me or talk within a different forum in the guild. I am glad you are trying and taking steps to get you the help you need. Way to go! |
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2016 7:05 pm
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Nelida28 Zusu Hi I'm Zusu. I'm shy and quiet. I've never been good at making friends. When I was little I was too blunt and said things that were hurtful without realizing it. It was the "evil one." When I became more aware of things I did change however but I was left with the fear that people wouldn't like me. Because of this I became more quiet and kept to myself since I was told I was annoying. Having a twin has also been an issue mostly because people always compared me and my sister. I was the evil one and she was the good one. I felt like I was always in her shadows. She was always the more sociable one and the one people liked more. I had friends through association but I never felt like anyone was really my friend. After high school I started to become more active online and try to make friends the problem that I had though is that every time I felt like I was getting closer to someone people drifted away from me. Other times I felt invisible because people only turned to me when they needed help and then I wouldn't hear from them again until another problem arise. A part of me kinda misses that though because at least back then I still had some contact with people but now it feels like I don't have any friends or anyone to talk to. While I was in college I did went to counseling. I attended support groups to help with my shyness and with building self-esteem but over the past year since I graduated I feel like I lost all the progress that I made. I've been having issues with my bf. Last week I told him how I've been having trouble coping with my feelings and how nothing I did seem to lift my moods and he blocked my number told me I needed help. Said not to talk to him until I do. That to me hurt. I thought he better than anyone would understand since he too suffers from depression but he didn't. We did talk since then and he apologized and that he freaked out because he felt he couldn't help me. We are trying to work things out but it's been rough. With his new job we have been spending less time together and I feel like being in a long distance relationship doesn't make things any easier. He feels like I'm not being supportive because I've been giving him a hard time about us not spending as much time together. So I guess that's something I want to work on. Right now I'm just trying to find ways to cope with my depression better. I called my doctor that I used to see when I was in college for support. I can't see him anymore since I'm not a student but I'm hoping he could send me in the right direction. I'm also grateful to be a part of this guild and I hope that I can get some of the support that I feel I'm lacking. It is nice to meet you Zuzu. I can definitely relate to you with the whole bf situation. I know that it is tough to work on your relationship at the same time trying to work on yourself. I am usually not great with advice but I am a darn good listener. If you ever want to talk and I know members aren't as active as I planned, you are more than welcome to pm me or talk within a different forum in the guild. I am glad you are trying and taking steps to get you the help you need. Way to go!
Thank you. heart |
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Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 9:12 am
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Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2017 10:22 am
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Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 4:02 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:03 pm
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Nelida28 Kurobonbon Nelida28 I am but I havent been on as much. How's it going? I'm alright just surviving haha. What about you?
Heh, same |
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Posted: Thu Sep 21, 2017 2:15 pm
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Kurobonbon Nelida28 Kurobonbon Nelida28 I am but I havent been on as much. How's it going? I'm alright just surviving haha. What about you? Heh, same
I wish more people were on cause then I'd be more active lol |
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Posted: Thu Sep 21, 2017 4:59 pm
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Nelida28 Kurobonbon Nelida28 Kurobonbon Nelida28 I am but I havent been on as much. How's it going? I'm alright just surviving haha. What about you? Heh, same I wish more people were on cause then I'd be more active lol
lol same. I'm still on Gaia daily pretty much, but there's not much going on or much to do. |
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