Mister Mirage vs Cartwright

[Drako Damone]

normal match  

[Cartwright]

Cigaro by System Of A Down hits the arena, causing the fans to explode into cheers as Cartwright makes his grand entrance. He is wearing an ENGLISH Flag (not Union Jack) inspired jacket, wrestling tights and boots. Cartwright swaggers towards the ring, looking ready for his match tonight.

♫My c**k is much bigger than yours,
My c**k can walk right through the door
With a feeling so pure..
It's got you screaming back for more.

Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGAR
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGAR♫

Michael Buffer: "Coming to the ring at this time, from London, ENGLAND and weighting-in at 225 lbs. Wearing red and white, he is one of the most recognised stars in the history of professional wrestling. Tonight, he competes against a man who isn't there. He is the self-proclaimed Extraordinary Englishman, CAAAARTWRIIIIGHT!"

Cartwright slides into the ring under the bottom rope and poses for the fans in the center of the ring.

Crowd: "CARTY! CARTY! CARTY! CARTY! CARTY!"

Tony Schiavone: "Cartwright absolutely destroyed Wanton Fox on the second edition of WCWG Monday Night Nitro and he did it with style using famous moves from the game Street Fighter! It was amazing, some of those moves defied physics and logic!"

Larry Zbysko: "Rumour has it that Cartwright kicked his arse so much that Fox has retired on the quiet, doing a runner from the wrestling world after the match rather than being a man about it and announcing it to the world! I wouldn't blame him if he did, Fox has clearly passed his peak as a performer! He was not able to land a single offensive maneuver in the entire match! It was quite a pathetic display from a supposed veteran!"

Tony Schiavone: "Maybe you're being too cruel on the weird man Larry and Cartwright is just on another level compared to Fox and everyone else in the wrestling world! Cartwright is that damn good! A wrestling God...wait we have enough of them as it is! A real English Dragon...damn it there's too many of them around here as well!"

Larry Zbysko: "Let's just call him The Extraordinary Englishman because there's only one of him and he is exactly that!"

 

[Mister Mirage]

Time seemed to have halted on Nitro as a monochrome effect came over the arena.The voices from the audience were replaced with silence. Eyes remained on the stage as they awaited the Master of Mirages.

You make promise of protection
To a future after life
To the final resurrection
And to eternal paradise

Mist filled the stage as a mirror was slowly raised onto the center of the stage. A dark apparition appeared in the mirror, reaching out towards the ring, the mirror halting it's progress. Taking a step closer, the apparition slowly pushed a gloved fist through the frame and then the hooded figure stepped through entirely. The apparition was the Mysterious Stranger himself, Mister Mirage.



But then I'm blinded with temptation
And to every mortal sin
Is it God that sits there waiting?
Or will the darkness suck me in

Mister Mirage's coal black eyes stared down at the ring when he was finally free of the mirror. The Mysterious Stranger was here on Monday Night Nitro to make his WCW debut! He turned slightly and shoved the mirror to the floor, shattering it immediately when it made contact with the stage. Once again the masked man turned his attention towards the ring and began making his way to it. Intensity and discomfort could be felt from the audience as Mister Mirage made his way down the ramp. The soulless eyes remained on the Extraordinary Englishman as he walked down the ramp. When he stood at the bottom of the ramp, a silent smirk was hidden behind the mask as Mirage slowly raised his hands in the air, electricity sparked from his gauntlets and the monochrome effect faded from the arena. He slowly lowered his hands and rolled into the ring to finally be face to face with Cartwright.

The Mysterious Stranger tilted his head to the side as gazed upon his strange opponent. Finally, the masked man pointed at Cartwright and after an uncomfortable moment, he spoke. "... My c**k is bigger than yours." The Masked man imitated the Englishman's theme in his deep, hushed voice.

 

[Cartwright]

Cartwright goes face-to-face with the mirror smashing, gimpy freak. This moody masked man is going to try and make a big impression on WCWG by winning his debut match against the legendary Cartwright. Cartwright stares back at him as they face-off, sizing-up his opponent and feeling the intensity that he brings with him.

Then he announces that his c**k is bigger than Cartwright's and everything changes! WTH?! How dare he mutter such BS to The Extraordinary Englishman! >=( He successfully triggers Cartwright, who retaliates by shoving him away as the bell rings to start the match!

 

[Mister Mirage]

The Extraordinary Englishman shows some of that elegant class by starting the match off with a shove! Mirage take a step closer to Cartwright. "...My s**t stinks much better than yours." The Mysterious Stranger continues his imitation of Cart's theme!

 

[Cartwright]

What a ridiculous statement! Nothing smells better than fresh, English manure! Cartwright points at Mister Mirage aggressively. The fans may or may not be able to see Cartwright's opponent.

Cartwright: "Listen to me, imaginary man! We all know that you are without substance or reality, so it makes sense that you would want to try to be the greatest person that you have ever met.....ME...to try and cross into the real world! There has clearly been some sort of rift in the dimensions that has brought you here and I will put a stop to it! I'm not having some piece of non-existent CRAP come into MY WORLD and try to REPLACE me! I am going to DELETE you from this existence that you don't exist in!"

Tony Schiavone: "Umm, do you have any idea what is going on here Larry?!"

Larry Zbysko: "Not a clue, but I can't wait to see where this goes!"

 

[Mister Mirage]

Mirage tilted his had to the side and watched the Englishman as he spoke. As soon as he finished his last sentence, the Mysterious Stranger suddenly kicked up, looking to nail Cartwright in the gut with his boot!

 

[Cartwright]

The rude, disrespectful and ugly imaginary being strikes Cartwright's gut with his boot! Cartwright hunches over in pain, holding the struck area.

Tony Schiavone: "Hey, if this guy doesn't actually exist, is Cartwright actually feeling any pain?!"

Larry Zbysko: "Next you're going to suggest that Professional Wrestling is fake! As a former Professional Wrestler, if you go there, you won't like the answer you get from me!"

 

[Mister Mirage]

Mirage stepped in close to the Englishman. Grabbing hold of Cart, he would attempt to Irish whip his opponent into a corner.

 

[Cartwright]

Mirage whips Cartwright into one of the ring posts, hitting it with his back. Cartwright runs forward and attempts to dropkick Mirage into the opposite turnbuckle!

 

[Mister Mirage]

Cartwright had one hell of a recovery on that one! The Mysterious Stranger was immediately knocked back by Cartwright's sudden dropkick and tumbled backwards into the corner!

 

[Cartwright]

The burst of energy paid-off, but now both men are grounded on the mat! Cartwright looks at Mirage from the mat, wondering how he can stop a man who doesn't exist. Cartwright rolls on to his back and kips-up on to his feet, wowing the fans!

 

[Cartwright]

ninja  

[Cartwright]

Auto-Win! Another crushing victory for Cartwright! ninja