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I couldnt find a good title really, so lets just go with it.
*NOTE!* I am running off a few hours of sleep only, so please excuse any typo that you find.

I have been rolling my past years around in my head lately, and have noticed that I have been a somewhat shitty boyfriend to my now ex girlfriends. Now, beofre you go judging, I want mean, I didnt yell, I didnt abuse (never will). I pride myself on being a kind, generous, loving, and all around nice guy who goes out of my way to make people happy. My problem, however you might take it, has always been on a sexual plain.

Now, I'm sure there was someone out there who might have snickered when they read that thinking about full blown sexual problems, but this isnt the case. My problem was that around the age of 13 I was dating a girl, and she was my first sexual experiance. I got a bit carried away and my relationships since have been about sexual actions. Don't get me wrong, I liked the girls, and some I loved, I was just so stupid and swallowed up by the whole thing to see it will I got a bit older.

My last serious relationship was almost 2 years ago now. I am 19, and looking back I have cast anger and blame to my last two relationships. I sat there spitefully saying things to myself like, " Why did she do this to me, I was so nice and a gentleman to her" but finally realized that it didnt matter how much I gave or how nice I was, but the way that I treated them. I have realized that it was my lust that drove them away from me.

I learned from this, and realized that I can only blame myself for what came to pass. Unfortunately, karma always gets the better of me. I found a girl, a great girl that I liked A lot, and I had no impure thoughts of her at all! I just enjoyed being with her. She ended up having to move away this past July. Karma and irony suck, though I did get what I feel I deserved.

As I stated, I am a gentleman, and pride myself on it, but everyone has a flaw and nobody is perfect. It is easy to learn from mistakes, but it takes a strong person to admitt to a wrong.