Is my boyfriend wrong?

[alice_downtherabbithole]

I've been cutting for four years now. It's got me through all of my hard times when I couldn't even count on my friends closest to me.
I started dating this guy about a month ago, and I really love and respect him. He told me if he sees any fresh cuts on me he will leave me. And I can't hide them from him, at all.
It's not like I intend to cut myself, but it happens sometimes, when things get bad. And things are getting bad again. My two best friends won't talk to me right now because of something I did almost a month ago. I thought we were working it out. but I was wrong. And my stepmom is a constant trigger of depression for me. I'll never live up to her standards and she's always putting me down for it. I'm always being compared to my friend Kelly who is living with us right now. I just can't catch a break....
And I'm scared that I'm going to slip up and my boyfriend will leave. I really need him right now, he's one of the few people on my side, but I don't think he's doing the best thing for me by giving me an ultimatum. I'm not in counseling, and it's not like I can talk to anyone at any given time. I usually get the worst urges to cut late at night when I'm alone.
Advice?  

[Eri Luvs You]

You need people around you that will help you get better.
Anyone who wants to leave you or hate you for certain "bad habits" doesnt love you for the right reasons.
The people who truely love you will always be by your side no matter what you do. Those people will do anything in thier power to help you get over things.
When i was going through a similar situation (bf wise) I realized that if he truely loved me he would help me back to being well.
Things can be tough sometimes but in order for you to overcome things you need positives and support around you.

I cant comment on the step parents, I dont have any. I figure that since they dont have much emotional ties to you, they have less support for you.
Thats why real parents, no matter what, love you. They will be there for you.  

[Quietly Losing Control]

If your boyfriend really likes you, he won't leave you just because you cut. And if he does, he's a jerk and you deserve MUCH better, he's not worth your time.

I know you said that you don't really have the opportunity to see a counselor just whenever you feel like it, but maybe you should talk to your parents/step-parent about that. It would probably be best if you saw one.  

[[Ashes][is][Ashes]]

Ayako, I disagree. It's a threat because he cares.

As for your stepmom, clue her in to the fact that you are your own person, it's your life, and she does not need to manipulate you.

And the cutting? I don't care how much cutting can get anyone through hard times. It's self-mutilation, it's stupid, and you should stop.  

[XXX Zombie Porn]

I congratulate your boyfriend.
He's doing the right thing.
If YOU cared so much about him YOU'D stop.

How do you think he feels if his girlfriend is cutting and he can't get her to stop? He will probably start thinking it's his fault even if you tell him it isn't.  

[Art Payment]

I'd leave you if I was him. If you love him enough you'll put your little needs aside.  

[[[insane]]--butterfly--]

i was in the same situation with my (ex) boyfriend.

He is in the right by trying to make you stop, but threatning to leave you isnt a good option. If he is there for you all the time, you need to tell him whats happening so he has a chance to help you.

He will feel guilty if you do it because he will think its about him, or if you cut the wrong way or something and you die or become critically ill he will blame himself and he will be worse than how you feel right now.

If you really love him and do respect him you will stop ... its like "why am i cutting, i dont need that, ive got a perfect boyfriend next to me that can help me i just need to trust him".

But if you really need to cut, tell your boyfriend that you need it, and let him help you...

Because i didnt stop cutting and my (ex) boyfriend was persistant on telling me off, i lost him...dont let that happen to you...i know how it feels to love someone so much and be stuck between your *sharpies* and your *lover* ... it hurts.... but dont make the same mistake that i did.

For further conversation - PM me.

[[insane]].  

[alice_downtherabbithole]

I realize that cutting is selfish and that he would blame himself; he's the type to do that no matter what I tell him. Because once when he was over, I went outside to cry, and he didn't follow me cuz he didn't know where I was and he got pissed at me over that. He said that I shouldn't be sad when he's around, and if I am I need to tell him so he can help me feel not sad. I just didn't want him to see me like that. I feel like a burden. I don't want to become too dependent on him, in case he leaves... cuz he could do better than an emotional basket-case like me. I'm afraid he'll get sick of dealing with my issues, even if he doesn't mind it now. I'm a lot to handle.  

[Rellik San]

XXX Zombie Porn

I congratulate your boyfriend.
He's doing the right thing.
If YOU cared so much about him YOU'D stop.

How do you think he feels if his girlfriend is cutting and he can't get her to stop? He will probably start thinking it's his fault even if you tell him it isn't.

Pretty much covers it really, I know how I'd feel, it would make me feel at first worthless as you'd be cutting yourself rather then coming to me about it, then I'd feel angry at myself, because I've not been able to help you, then finally if you didn't stop I would leave you because I'd just feel I wasn't able to help you and you deserve someone who could.  

[Rellik San]

D e a t h x D o l l y

I realize that cutting is selfish and that he would blame himself; he's the type to do that no matter what I tell him. Because once when he was over, I went outside to cry, and he didn't follow me cuz he didn't know where I was and he got pissed at me over that. He said that I shouldn't be sad when he's around, and if I am I need to tell him so he can help me feel not sad. I just didn't want him to see me like that. I feel like a burden. I don't want to become too dependent on him, in case he leaves... cuz he could do better than an emotional basket-case like me. I'm afraid he'll get sick of dealing with my issues, even if he doesn't mind it now. I'm a lot to handle.

Erm... hate to stereotype, but there is no such thing as a normal person emotionally, were all a little nuts in that regard. Girls more so, due to PMS.  

[[Ashes][is][Ashes]]

Rellik: True.  

[The Dadalorian]

Rellik San

D e a t h x D o l l y

I realize that cutting is selfish and that he would blame himself; he's the type to do that no matter what I tell him. Because once when he was over, I went outside to cry, and he didn't follow me cuz he didn't know where I was and he got pissed at me over that. He said that I shouldn't be sad when he's around, and if I am I need to tell him so he can help me feel not sad. I just didn't want him to see me like that. I feel like a burden. I don't want to become too dependent on him, in case he leaves... cuz he could do better than an emotional basket-case like me. I'm afraid he'll get sick of dealing with my issues, even if he doesn't mind it now. I'm a lot to handle.

Erm... hate to stereotype, but there is no such thing as a normal person emotionally, were all a little nuts in that regard. Girls more so, due to PMS.

don't forget menopause and pregnancy...i've been unleashed through every girl thing possible DX

anyways, he's your boyfriend you should be able ot talk to him, i hate talking to my GF about things but you just have to and they're always there to comfort you if not then tell them if they get mad then they're not worth it.  

[alice_downtherabbithole]

He left me tonight, or we're on break I don't quite know. He says he needs to find his way back to God, that's why things have been going wrong in his life. And he said he couldn't do it if we're dating. And he says he still loves me and cares about me, and he wants to help me bring God into my life; and when we both grow and learn that we might end up together again.  

[[[insane]]--butterfly--]

Now you just need to ask yourself if you think he is worth waiting for, and if you think he is going to be there for you...this may take a while to do...dont take him to harshly nor to nice...its YOUR choice on what you want to do.
Hope It Helps... (any further questions, PM Me)

 

[Rellik San]

D e a t h x D o l l y

He left me tonight, or we're on break I don't quite know. He says he needs to find his way back to God, that's why things have been going wrong in his life. And he said he couldn't do it if we're dating. And he says he still loves me and cares about me, and he wants to help me bring God into my life; and when we both grow and learn that we might end up together again.

Oh Christ, he's turning into a Jesus freak. *ba dum tish*

Sorry sorry, couldn't resist.