Welcome to Gaia! ::

there's been little activity in this forum, and i figured i'd post something weird and...kinda bad (let's be honest here). interpret it how you want--i know what it means for me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We live as we dream--alone" (Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad)

I've seen it. I've known. No one ever cared.

Maybe that's a little harsh. Maybe i should give them some credit.

Nah.

So the other day I was going about my business and then there was...

Well it was there. It talks, you know, to everyone. You all listen, even if you don't realize you do. You do what it says, and think you're using your free will.

I just don't get you people.

Anyhow, so I was walking up to the Chevron, saw it, and did what I usually do: ignore it.

This time, it wasn't up for being ignored. I guess it's not used to someone who knows what it's up to; maybe it was tired of me. I don't know. That's not my problem, right? I keep walking.

Hindsight tells me that was a huge mistake. A shimmer and a flicker later, I felt it--close--cold breath on my neck in a steady, shallow rhythm. I stopped, a little afraid. Let's be honest about what we're dealin with here--fear is a natural response...maybe not for you; you don't even see it.

So i'm freaking out a little, but maintaining. Then, it's like metal in my ear, a shimmering whisper of aluminum invading my sensory responses: "You know, you do."

At that point, I cringed a little just because the sound was rather grating and creepy, but I'll admit, I also smiled a little here.

There it is again: "What are you?" The gentle caress of a bony claw...or something like that.

A cringe later, I process the question. It's kind of strange when you think about it; i mean, we know what we are, don't we? don't i?

A girl with frizzy brown curls walks by, trying not to see me.

"What am i?" maybe I don't know how to answer that question without a thesis statement and three body paragraphs.

There's that metal again, grating in my left ear, "You're not what they are." A pause, an inhalation, a cringe. "You're...what I am." Its laugh was just as mechanical, just as grating, but it seemed to echo in the early evening; I felt it rather than heard it. I knew it. No one ever saw me either, ever knew they were hearing me either.

It left me there on the sidewalk, a single eyebrow quirked in realization and inquiry: how could I not have noticed this?

A tall man walked by and then turned around like you turn around when you think you've heard someone, but you're not sure, so you turn around real slow, real casually so you don't look like a paranoid freak to anyone how might be around.

I'm looking at him; he's looking a the Chevron ahead. His eyebrows furrow with a hint of confusion and he hesitates.

I decided to help him out, "Just go. there's nothin here."

He turns around just as causally and walks away, forgetting forgetting forgetting the encounter with nothing.

MY imediate interpretation was that she was dead, a ghost unaware of its own null existance, but I relized that that was probably not so as you might have dressed her up a bit more for the part (ominus signs, ghostly contemplations of life and death etc.)

Otherwise it could be multiple things lists and explinations of which would be superfluous here as Im sure the passage was meant for interchangable meanings.

The style made the flow easy on the eyes as far as the "how" part of the passage goes. ^_^

hehe, i guess this turned out a bit better than i anticipated. i read back over it once, and then i didn't care how it sounded.

@ruby: to be honest, this one came about with no pre-story, no explanation for me, nothing...i could share to help the readers (though i think it's fine how it is). how can i elaborate on something i don't even know about? confused

this story actually reminds me a lot of how the characters behave in Bentley Little's The Ignored. if you haven't read it, you should.

@nova: thanks Nova, but you're right: dead is not what i was going for, but now that you mention it, it could work here.

this is the first time i've done a 1st person piece like this at all. i kind of imagine this guy (because i do see a guy, but i suppose, since there are not indications of gender, it could feasibly be either one) sitting in front of a fireplace telling some close friends about this encounter and subsequent epiphany, but considering the epiphany, how can he tell friends...? i don't know.

@kirby: i kind of see this on twilight zone, really. it's weird, and it's not for everyone. i mean, i like it, but like i said, it's my first time doing something like this, so i don't know if my opinion has much merit as to how good it is. an artist is always in love with his/her own work at first.

and i'm glad you found it creepy, that's the effect i was going for mrgreen

Well, that's the good thing about writing. You can make up what you don't know cases like the fantastical. Just fill in the blanks with your own imagination.