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Okay, Fearless leader (Neth, you simpletons) showed me this old file of one of our conversations. And demanded we share. I cannot possibly say no.
Stoneroseknight = Me.
Kittikattie = Neth.
You = Entertained.
FROM THE LJ FILES OF NETHILIA:
Bitter Old Pokemon Trainers
Me and my bro, Golem, talking about the good old days:
KittiKattie: XD @ self.
StoneRoseKnight: Nani?
KittiKattie: "You damn young trainers don't know anything! When I started, we had 150 Pokemon and we were happy! Mew was considered a lucky gift! We had glitches, didn't know Pokemon genders, and there were no shiny Pokemon!" *bangs cane*
KittiKattie: "We believed Togepis were baby Chansey and we liked it!"
StoneRoseKnight: "Personalities? PERSONALITIES? What've you been smokin'? We IMAGINED THEM, and Mewdammit, if you didn't like a little creativity you were laughed at!"
KittiKattie: Hehe...
StoneRoseKnight: "And you know what? If you wanted every recious starter in your pokedex, you TRADED FOR THEM! None of this breeding malarkey!"
KittiKattie: "Breeding? You got one Eevee, and you worked for the rest!"
KittiKattie: Net balls? Dive Balls? Timers? After a certain point, you just hoped an Ultra would do the job!
StoneRoseKnight: Pah! You hip youngsters with your sad little backpacks! In our day, you had ONE pocket--and if you thought a nugget was worth less than that shiny new TM, you did without it!"
KittiKattie: Choosing your Gender! Hah! I crossdressed until 2001 and ******** enjoyed it!
StoneRoseKnight: *snnrrk*
KittiKattie: Running shoes? You had one bike, and before that, you walked or you stood still!
StoneRoseKnight: Ahh, things were good in those days. No mollycoddling pokemon just so that bratty little Pichu would love you enough to get off its a** and evolve to something half-decent! You fought or you used stones or you traded, and that was that!
KittiKattie: Magma? Aqua? You had one team, Team Rocket, and they were good enough! We nearly creamed our shorts when Jesse and James showed up in Yellow!
StoneRoseKnight: And the types! We did dang well with fifteen, thank-you-very-much, and you can shove your steelix down your shorts for all I care!
KittiKattie: None of this "Jiracchi on a disk preorder" namby pamby s**t! You sent your little brother to Toys R Us to get a Mew from some snarky rep, or you sharked him in!
StoneRoseKnight: Back in the day, when you whupped a trainers a**, it STAYED whupped, and they ran off knowing like you could kick their a** like they were supposed to! No calling and simpering for another chance, let alone a ******** pager like that canteen-thing you ruby and sapphire brats lug around!!
KittiKattie: Contests? Contests? you had one goal, and that was to beat the Elite Four! After that, all you did was battle and trade, none of this "make me pretty for a contest" bullshit!
StoneRoseKnight: Held items? Ha! I can tell you where to shove that Thick club or snort that Brightpowder! We didn't get items, Held or otherwise, fighting other kids! And We didn't give a damn, 'cause it was GOOD that way!
KittiKattie: Traveling around on steam ships? What the ********? When you got off the Saint Anne, that b***h floated away, and all you got was some XP and a HM without even a ******** you very much, ma'am. Hell, they didn't even let you back on the peer!
KittiKattie: Just "Thank you, now get the ******** off my boat, b***h!"
StoneRoseKnight: And speaking of HMs! Five were plenty, I say! None of this whirlpool crap or rock smash s**t! Flash was bad enough to force onto your poor pitiful pokemon, let alone your seven fancy-dance Waterfall attack! Who the hell needs waterfall anyway? Surf's RIGHT THERE!
KittiKattie: Move Deleter? Hah! If you used Cut on some poor Pokemon and wanted to change your mind, well sorry, but no dice, the move stayed! And speaking of which, what's this Move Tutor s**t? You forgot a move and it stayed forgotten!
StoneRoseKnight: 2-on-2? Why not just throw out all six and have it over with, you bratty little half-pints? We used one at a time, and Guess what? It worked pretty damn well!
KittiKattie: Friendly Rival? Friendly my a**! Your Rival beat your a** every time he saw you, and he attacked without fail! None of this "Here have some goggles" s**t, you either got your a** handed to you or you beat him like a punk!
StoneRoseKnight: Desert? Ponds? Dammit, you had dry land, the big blue surfing routes, Caves, and Buildings! That was all the scenery we could want!
KittiKattie: Speaking of which, what's with this Rain Dance/Sunny Day/Hail crap? You used your moves at whatever power they were, Solarbeam always took two turns, and Thunder missed so much you didn't ******** use that s**t!
StoneRoseKnight: And on top of that! Pokemon Powers? Powers?! The only powers we needed our pokemon to have were their attacks and the ability to be sucked into Pokeballs!
KittiKattie: Sweet Scent? The hell you say? You wandered around till you ran into a Pokemon, and most of the time it was a goddamn Ratatta!
StoneRoseKnight: And Legendaries--Don't get me started! Mewtwo would and could Kick your a** without fail if you BLINKED funny at him, none of this level-fourty-legendary crap!
KittiKattie: And varied evolution? Hah! My Caterpie turned into Metapod, and that's all they did! None of this "Might be a silcoon, might be a cascoon" s**t! We knew what we were getting!
StoneRoseKnight: Hell! We didn't know if it was Night or day or half past tea-time, and we LOVED it!
KittiKattie: And none of this berry growing stuff, when your Pokemon was confused he stayed confused and you just waited for him to either stop being confused or knock himself out!
StoneRoseKnight: Damn straight! You kept full heals and prayed to god you had enough, 'cause you didn't have the space to hold a ******** herbal medicine cabinet in your backpack! And on another note--In our day Baby pokemon were to be made up and not heard of, 'cause anyone who was anyone used the biggest and the baddest and I'm sorry if that doesn't suit your smoochum-loving a**!
KittiKattie: And what's this decorating stuff? You went home, you looked at your wall, and you enjoyed it! Blow me if your poster wasn't shiny, it was there!
StoneRoseKnight: And speaking of home--Your mome kissed you off, let you crash at home when you happened to drop by, and that was THAT! No holding money like a swiss bank account, not setting clocks for you, no runningshoe crap, NOTHING! No mollycoddly, simpering mothers here, no sir!
KittiKattie: And father? Hell, I still don't know who my father is! My dad didn't run no gym, thank you, I was a one-parent household and I made do!
StoneRoseKnight: (Pokemon Red and blue: b*****d Child Generation.)
KittiKattie: (yes)
KittiKattie: And none of this interacting with the enviroment s**t! The grass didn't move, the water didn't reflect, and I was just happy that I got surfing music!
StoneRoseKnight: And when we rode that bike, the Bike theme played, for that matter! We heard it every freaking time we played, no matter where we rode or what we did, and we were happy, Just bacause we could go faster on the damn thing!
KittiKattie: And none of this city announcement! Once I wasn't sure where the ******** I was, and you know what I did? I read the ******** sign!
StoneRoseKnight: For that matter, Gyms were actually a challenge back then! You picked a cute charmander? Dandy! Have your a** kicked by brock, have fun! Then try beating misty with a bellsprout or an oddish and a prayer! If you weren't ready, they would and could thrash you hard!
KittiKattie: And our trainers didn't have names, Mewdammit! It was just "Lass#3" or "Youngster overe there" None of this "Hi my name is ******** me and these are my Pokes. Wanna battle?"
StoneRoseKnight: Show me a Cooltrainermale who needs a name, and I'll show you a simpering crybaby! And running away? Pokemon either had their a** kicked or were caught, your fault either way!
KittiKattie: And Television! Hah! There was one TV, it was in your house, and all it showed was the same ******** movie all the time! You'd better be happy it showed that.
StoneRoseKnight: And as an aside! You punks have a GAMECUBE in your room! Get your a** out of your room and grab some goddamned pokeballs and get to work, you ingrates!
KittiKattie: And none of this Pokemon at different times, swarm night/day whatever! If Pikachu only showed up 10% of the time, this was every time, and they didn't suddenly come around like cicadas in heat!
StoneRoseKnight: And as for that--If you didn't like goddamned rattata and Pidgey and zubat you suffered for it, but you hunted any freaking way!
KittiKattie: And Team Rocket wasn't Equal Oppertunity! Everyone who came after your a** was male, dressed in black, and ready to thrash you!
StoneRoseKnight: No s**t! And Giovanni ran his own Gym, the corprate b*****d! Ecoterrorism? Screw that! He wanted the world for his gurubby little tuxedo-wearing self, and wasn't afraid to scream it from the rooftops!
KittiKattie: And none of this Special Attack/Special Defense sub stuff! You had one stat, it was Special, and it was for everything!
StoneRoseKnight: That's right! An alakazaam was a ******** to deal with then, and that was why--And guess what? YOUR RIVAL HAD ONE! None of this all steel mumbo Jumbo--Your Rival made his team to fight yours, had six different goddamn types, and wasn't afraid to kick your a** with them! Chanseys were ready, willing, and able to whip out that Blizzard s**t!
KittiKattie: And none of this Refresh Shed skin bullshit! You got poisoned, and you stayed poisoned until you healed!
StoneRoseKnight: And heal bell?! Ooouugh, you sons of bitches don't know how lucky you are! Mew help you if you don
StoneRoseKnight: *didn't have antidote or full heal!
KittiKattie: Moving around in Boxes? ******** you very much,but no! The box held 20 Pokemon, you had 14 of them, and they had no names! And if you wanted to move stuff, you took it out, changed boxes, and put it back! None of this shifting around inside the comp!
StoneRoseKnight: And NAMING boxes? Whassamatter, can't count to fourteen?
StoneRoseKnight: And hell--if it was full, you went and you changed it, or you didn't catch another ******** pokemon and lived with it!
KittiKattie: And none of this "Ooo, fire doesn't hurt my Vulpix" stuff! Do you know how hard it is to explain to a Jenny that your Vulpix got BURNED?
StoneRoseKnight: Fire spin? Fire Spin?! Hell, no, it didn't last! It was ******** ANNOYING, because if it went first, you didn't attack and that was that!
KittiKattie: Water/Ground? ******** pansies! If you hit a water with an electric attack, that s**t hit, and it hurt like a b***h!
StoneRoseKnight: Attract? Hell no! You're trying to kick their a**, not get a date, you halfwits!
KittiKattie: Learning moves after Stone evolution? The ********? If you evolved your level 10 Clefairy, he didn't learn s**t after that, and sucks to be you!
StoneRoseKnight: And stones? What the ********? We were happy with five--Water, Thunder, Fire, Grass and Moon, and we bought four of them!
StoneRoseKnight: Hmph! Cheeky little assholes--Eevee was the only split evolver we needed! None of this Belossom s**t! And trading with an Item? The hell?
KittiKattie: Dive? dive? You went under the water, and you drowned like the dumb b***h you were!
KittiKattie: The only thing under the water was more water!
Nope, nothing better to do till 4 in the morning...
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