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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:59 pm
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...I started thinking, being trapped between being a hypocrite and getting put on lockdown is really not cool.
I'm a (deeply closeted) atheist living in a hyper-religious house. Admitting my lack of belief would get me literally grounded until I escaped off to college (only one year!), throw my parents into a desperate fight to save their daughter from hell, give my grandparents heart attacks, and turn every waking hour at my home into a vicious battleground. I'm currently posing as a liberal, tolerant Christian, which results in a couple of fights and a helluva lot of eye rolling, but keeps me sane enough.
Unfortunately, the fact that I'm a leader in all of the activities I actually chose to be involved in means I was unable to come up with a suitable excuse for ducking out of being a senior mentor at my parent's church this year.
I feel horribly guilty, because I'm teaching these kids things that I don't believe. Even with a very liberal interpretation, I can't escape some of the crap that's in the Bible/accepted church doctrine. For instance, we're all sinful and can't hope to save ourselves, sexual "purity" until marriage is the only option, talking to invisible guys in the sky is a good way to heal your dying grandmother, you should evangelize, etc.
I don't suppose anyone has any suggestions for extricating myself from this unhappy situation?
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:57 pm
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Fairyfly ...I started thinking, being trapped between being a hypocrite and getting put on lockdown is really not cool. I'm a (deeply closeted) atheist living in a hyper-religious house. Admitting my lack of belief would get me literally grounded until I escaped off to college (only one year!), throw my parents into a desperate fight to save their daughter from hell, give my grandparents heart attacks, and turn every waking hour at my home into a vicious battleground. I'm currently posing as a liberal, tolerant Christian, which results in a couple of fights and a helluva lot of eye rolling, but keeps me sane enough. Unfortunately, the fact that I'm a leader in all of the activities I actually chose to be involved in means I was unable to come up with a suitable excuse for ducking out of being a senior mentor at my parent's church this year. I feel horribly guilty, because I'm teaching these kids things that I don't believe. Even with a very liberal interpretation, I can't escape some of the crap that's in the Bible/accepted church doctrine. For instance, we're all sinful and can't hope to save ourselves, sexual "purity" until marriage is the only option, talking to invisible guys in the sky is a good way to heal your dying grandmother, you should evangelize, etc. I don't suppose anyone has any suggestions for extricating myself from this unhappy situation?
You can come live in my basement and sleep with our bunny in her large cage. XD
Idunno...all I could suggest is some Harriet Tubman style underground activity. But it's hard to trust kids to keep secrets. Maybe you should focus your mentoring more on real life skills rather than religious things. I'm sorry you're in this pickle, kid.
It's how I always say, though - unless you're willing and able to support yourself through alternate means, coming out Atheist among a very religious family may well be a ticket to the curb. Remember, you're not under contract to proselytize for Atheism, or to be heartbroken over not following some imagined Atheist Ten Commandments. If you really want to make a difference I suppose you could e-mail those kids later and explain why you said what you did and what you really believe. c_c Tough times.
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 7:29 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:40 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 9:43 pm
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:00 am
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 12:16 pm
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 3:13 pm
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 3:20 pm
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:00 pm
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 8:08 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 1:16 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 2:48 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 4:27 pm
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Levis Pennae In my opinion personal beliefs should stand above all else. I live in a moderately religious house right now. But before, I lived in the south, conservative religious capital east of the Mississippi. Now growing up this environment I understand that standing up at the dinner table and screaming out "This is all sh--, I'm an ATHEIST!!" isn't exactly the right thing to do. What I would do in your situation is slowly faze yourself out of the religious circle your family has created. Ask to be removed from the church mentor program at your church, citing other legitimate reason. Remember the key to this is to use as little lying as possible. I do this all the time when I find myself in hyper religious situations, or any other situations like that. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING HERE IS THAT YOUR FRIEND.
What legitimate excuse do you recommend? I've already tried all of the ones I can think of. "I'm too busy" is true but insufficient -- my parents said that if I was really too busy, I could quit my extracurriculars and stop hanging out with my friends. "I don't feel qualified" would raise a helluva lot of eyebrows and put me under some intense scrutiny, because, beleiver or not, I have by far the best grasp on theology of any of the youth participating in the program, and all the adults involved know that. "I hate teaching/talking in front of people" would be laughed at, because I'm on the debate team and take part in social activism that requires both teaching and talking in front of people. "I don't want to" is true but gets results only in sermons about how I should devote more of my time to God.
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 4:38 pm
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Fairyfly Levis Pennae In my opinion personal beliefs should stand above all else. I live in a moderately religious house right now. But before, I lived in the south, conservative religious capital east of the Mississippi. Now growing up this environment I understand that standing up at the dinner table and screaming out "This is all sh--, I'm an ATHEIST!!" isn't exactly the right thing to do. What I would do in your situation is slowly faze yourself out of the religious circle your family has created. Ask to be removed from the church mentor program at your church, citing other legitimate reason. Remember the key to this is to use as little lying as possible. I do this all the time when I find myself in hyper religious situations, or any other situations like that. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING HERE IS THAT YOUR FRIEND. What legitimate excuse do you recommend? I've already tried all of the ones I can think of. "I'm too busy" is true but insufficient -- my parents said that if I was really too busy, I could quit my extracurriculars and stop hanging out with my friends. "I don't feel qualified" would raise a helluva lot of eyebrows and put me under some intense scrutiny, because, beleiver or not, I have by far the best grasp on theology of any of the youth participating in the program, and all the adults involved know that. "I hate teaching/talking in front of people" would be laughed at, because I'm on the debate team and take part in social activism that requires both teaching and talking in front of people. "I don't want to" is true but gets results only in sermons about how I should devote more of my time to God.
Or you could claim that teaching these, poor, innocent kids based on your liberal Christian views is a bad, bad thing. Very subtly, though.
Wh00t, fellow debater. smile What kind of debate do you do? (I do policy/CX, so if yours is somewhat like that, just increase the time you spend practicing, and claim you need more time to improve your skills.)
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