My poems...and Art...

[WolfTeeth-x]

I love writing poetry. The poem I'm going to put up is my favourite poem that I ever wrote. My friend says I should publish it... but, I don't want it published. Please comment:

The days are dark
The sky is black
I take a pencil and make a mark
my door clacks
but no-one is there
like there is care
in the air
anywhere
and I sit here
dressed in black
ready to pack
on my bed
My pencil is running out of led
for the letter I write to you
describes my pain
nobody knew
It feels like I might go
insane
because everything you do
I'll take a train
I hope he will too
And it will be the main
love story
that will come true

(I have other accounts on gaia, if you've seen this one before, it's probably m other account.)  

[The Dadalorian]

your rhyme scheme is all over the place  

[walk like thunder]

see above

geez...what else do you have m'dear?  

[Otxanus Xanaphy]

I like them both.  

[The Raining Soul]

Soviet Mudkipz

your rhyme scheme is all over the place

What he said. I suggest learning about rhythm the kiddy way. Clap your hands to every line. If there are the same number of claps, it's a good rhythm. Or you can attempt to be creative and try a certain pattern. Notice I said attempt because, to me, you seem like a beginner... stare  

[walk like thunder]

hahaha the clapping hands thing? sorry but I laughed a bit at that.
the rhythm isn't that off! but you do have to begin somewhere I guess!  

[Zombified_Milk]

Soviet Mudkipz

your rhyme scheme is all over the place

i agree, it rhymed some parts and other parts it didnt. and your rhythm was kind of off beat too. i would suggest some revising. like all things in life there is room for improvement...  

[divin_amour]

thats pretty good. keep working and you'll be amazing. if u ever need tips, let me know  

[itzalwaysraining]

this is my poem (its below as my signature)  

[skullnstars]

i like ur choice of words
but everything else is well burning_eyes  

[Red Velvet Frosting]

who ever said poetry had to be in time? as long as each line is in order then it doesnt matter- poetry doesnt even have to ryme or anything- all a poem needs is a specificc tone. nothing more, x  

[xXTabesXx]

btw skillet rocks  

[JacobxPerri]

I like it ^^  

[Your LoveHateHero]

Aw...I like them haha you should look at my lame poems hehe  

[mooncalf90]

You need more rhythm. If your poem has rhythm then the words will flow more easily for you and for the reader.