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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 11:37 pm
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"Mark these words your story ends, then you will understand, you get back what you put in..."
I lay down in a drug filled haze, barely conscious. Glancing about, I've no idea where I am, or what I've done. Staring at my wrists are two tattoos, both ravens, and for awhile I just lay there pondering their meaning. The blood on my hands begins to cake, and like a hurricane, the drug induced stupor is blown away as smoke, and revelations are bestowed upon me.
I never meant to kill her, nor that insignifi-c**t little ******** she was sleeping with. I sit up slowly and reach for my lighter. With a flick of my wrist, the zippo opens with a style and grace that always seemed... as an usher for tranquility and ataraxia. I light the Djarum Black and try to breath the new-found fire out of my heart. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, but now it doesn't matter.
The crisp crackle of my cigarette pierces and punctuates the otherwise silent room. I'm staring at the crusting crimson caricature that has appeared upon my hands. Her life slowly slipped away as the last speckle of suffering stains my palms.
And with a soft chuckle, I take one last lingering drag from the butt of the clove and whisper to myself as I methodically press the tip into my palm, "Victims aren't we all?"
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:03 am
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 4:13 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:05 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 3:56 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:40 am
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:38 am
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:35 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:20 pm
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in the flicker. this is pretty sweet. i like the mystery that's going on, but here's a couple of things which bothered me (of course, no pressure): "with a flick of my wrist" I've smoked a fair amount of cigarettes, and I have never flicked my wrist to light a cigarette. In addition, I have also never seen anyone do it. I would say it's 95% impossible for the flame to catch that fast unless you have a blowtorch to light your cigarettes. Maybe, if you're talking about zippo-style lighters, you mean that he flicked his wrist after actually lighting it? I'm having a hard time picturing this; it doesn't seem realistic. as a whole, the cliche' of the "cancer stick" "death stick" and any other "stick" that goes with cigarettes is just old and tired. we all know that cigarettes kill, and i'm sick of hearing 15 year old kids talk about how they love their "cancer sticks." but that's just me. you've got some really nice stuff going on, though. i especially liked "insignifi-c**t man." pretty witty and all around awesome. write more. soon.
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:50 pm
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NovaKing in the flicker. this is pretty sweet. i like the mystery that's going on, but here's a couple of things which bothered me (of course, no pressure): "with a flick of my wrist" I've smoked a fair amount of cigarettes, and I have never flicked my wrist to light a cigarette. In addition, I have also never seen anyone do it. I would say it's 95% impossible for the flame to catch that fast unless you have a blowtorch to light your cigarettes. Maybe, if you're talking about zippo-style lighters, you mean that he flicked his wrist after actually lighting it? I'm having a hard time picturing this; it doesn't seem realistic. as a whole, the cliche' of the "cancer stick" "death stick" and any other "stick" that goes with cigarettes is just old and tired. we all know that cigarettes kill, and i'm sick of hearing 15 year old kids talk about how they love their "cancer sticks." but that's just me. you've got some really nice stuff going on, though. i especially liked "insignifi-c**t man." pretty witty and all around awesome. write more. soon.
i feel like i should be insulted, but i'm not sure why... confused
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Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:51 am
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 8:58 pm
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