Things Resident Evil characters would NEVER say

[Knights of the Realm]

Ok, I remember one of my old forums had something like this. Just post things you'd probably never see a character saying. Like this:

Alfred: I hate my sister. She's ugly and stupid and I hate her!

Or...

Claire: Go away, Chris! I don't want to see you!

or...

Alexia: Let's go watch Care Bears! ^_^  

[LAAG]

Leon: Fighting with guns is so stupid and gay.  

[Knights of the Realm]

Jill: Yay, zombies and monsters! ^_^ I love Umbrella!

Oh, they can the movie characters and stuff too.  

[Uenna]

Wesker: Chris! I'm so glad you're alive!! biggrin

Leon: Pshh. Screw Ada. stare

Nemesis: Hi. o_o  

[Knights of the Realm]

Jill: ...what's a gun?  

[Mikami_X_Kira]

Chris: Wesker I'm sorry I rewend your plans at the mansion can you ever forgive me? crying  

[Lord Travis]

Barry: I need a stronger handgun. gonk  

[Biohazard EXTREME]

Wesker: What the hell kind of a c*ck sucking motherf*cker are you!?

I just can't picture him use common profanities.  

[MM-212 Beta]

Lord Travis

Barry: I need a stronger handgun. gonk

Haha, good one lol  

[Lord Travis]

In REmake after Barry shoots Wesker.

Jill: Wesker, you just got OWNED!  

[Tyr525]

Any Character after watching Lisa fall off the edge of the platform:
"Hey, you okay? Do you need a tissue, or... something?"

Seeing the Black Tiger in RE1:
"Ummm... Okay, bug spray, bug spray..."

Or Shaun of the Dead mixed with Outbreak:
"Sh*t, Kevin, help!"
"Give me a minute."
"Wha-- KEVIN!"
"Two seconds."

Seeing a Cerebrus come at you:
"Umm... Good doggy. Maybe I have a milkbone... Dammit, where'd I put those things..."

I choose Wesker for this one just because it'd be funnier to see him in it:
Scenario: A zombie is shuffling quite a ways down an empty road at Wesker. Immediately it stops. Wesker pulls out a boombox, sets it down and hits play. The theme from "The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly" plays.

"3 Paces, then turn, buddy."
"Uunnnhhgghhh...."
*Turns, steps three steps and turns back, seeing the zombie simply shuffling many steps trying to get to Wesker*
"GODAMMIT! Why can't you bastards get it right for once?!"
*Simply shoots the zombie in the face, packs up the boombox and keeps walking*  

[Ithmara]

I could never picture Leon saying this. Well in my opinion I hope he never does! (if he is in other resident evil games with Ashley)
God i feel awkward typing this for some reason, well more like disgusted. twisted
Leon: Oh Ashley, I love you so much, will yuo got out with me?

*barfs* Noo! well its out of my system now so I'm fine..  

[Swimstud13]

Clair: Hey why dont you go check out that noise


Rebecca:Your a poopie head

Wesker: Chris I love you  

[Biohazard EXTREME]

Brad: I'll save you!

Carlos: Women deserve respect, they're not objects.

Leon: I'm no hero.

Claire: I hate kids.  

[Knights of the Realm]

Jill: MONSTERS!! AAAAAAAAAH!! *throws down handgun and runs off a cliff* ....oh s**t.

Birkin: I don't mind Alexia having joined Umbrella at the age of ten! ^_^ I'm not jealous at all! God praise Alexia!

Alexia: ...Claire, I love you. *cuddle*

Wesker: JILL, SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I'M SCARED!!! MOMMY!!!