Would this be a good story to write?

[NissianSkyLine]

Important read this: I use to be in the another guild, but hardly did anything so i quit. Any way my point is i didn't steal this idea. It is mine, and only mine.

This story would be about two clans: The Human Clan and the Ender Clan.

This story would begin as the two clans live in Harmony. One day the Human clan deciedes to get rid of the Ender Clan. So a war begins. This is where the real story starts. It is about a boy and a girl. There family gets killed in the war. The first battle that was fought was in there city. That's where there family gets killed. They met each other in an abanded house that they where hidding in. A Ender clan Soldier founds them. They run and hid until they found a house that is Surrounded by this invisable shield. In the middle of the invisable shield is a Big house. There are people that survived the battle. This invisable shield is caused by a thing the can defeat the Ender clan. There is an organzine that live there protecting of what they invinte. And the Human clan armys are trying to get there to get the thing that can kill the Ender clan. And the people living in the house are protecting it. The Ender clan find out about this and attack the house and just in time the human clan army gets there and they kill the Ender clan attackers. The army gets the thing that can kill the Ender clan warriors and attack there main bass where there leader is located. The boy stays but the girl leave wanting reveng for what the Ender clan soldiers did to her family. She sneaks off on night when the army have left to attack. When the boy wakes up he goes after her, becuase he does not want her to die. (He's in love with her) He gets When he gets there the human clan army is getting destroyed by the Ender clan, because the Ender clan came up with their own weapon aganist the human clan. I have an end for this story but I'm not going to say how it ends.

That basically is a quick review of my story that is not writen yet.
The boy is 12 and the girl is 11 and they grow up 1 year in the hidding place and when they get to the house another year passes. So they are 14 and 13 years old in the end of the story. Some things I didn't say where that the Ender clan are ugly ppl that have powers. This story would be about maybe more than 20 pages or even more than 50. This story is bassed on a dream that I had.

Please leave comments! Thank you!  

[KirbyVictorious]

a) What's an Ender?

b) (he's in love with her) wow. Bit of an anticlimax. You'll have to be careful, people can't fall in love that fast, especially kids. No hormones then, remember?

c) This sounds in-tense. Are they destined to end the war? do they?

d) One thing you must always remember: don't ask someone's permission to write a story. you are the writer, you write what you damn well please. You can ask our opinions, but don't judge based on that. We'll read it and critique it if you write it, and be none the wiser if you don't.

All in all, I like this idea. What kind of world is it set in? What kind of weapons do they use? Can they use magic?

I am intrigued.  

[BlackHawkGS]

Something I've learned:

Write first, talk later.

Or else it'll become all talk.

Don't bother on whether it sounds good or not. I wrote a story about an insane kid, a courageous emo, and a smart bitchy lady driving a spaceship. Sounds like crap. But when I actually wrote the thing out and it got going... well, it was pretty interesting.  

[Voxxx]

Do eet. I'll read it. But work on your grammar, or I'll go all Nazi and start fussing at your story.  

[KirbyVictorious]

Hawkie's right, it's how you write it, not the plot.

Take White Oleander. So kid's mom goes to jail, story is about her journey through foster homes. Boring and cliched, right? WRONG! White Oleander is one of the best effing books ever written. Why? It was written WELL. And it had a message.

So write well, and have a message, or you're not as cool as Janet Finch, end of story. razz  

[NissianSkyLine]

KirbyVictorious

a) What's an Ender?

b) (he's in love with her) wow. Bit of an anticlimax. You'll have to be careful, people can't fall in love that fast, especially kids. No hormones then, remember?

c) This sounds in-tense. Are they destined to end the war? do they?

d) One thing you must always remember: don't ask someone's permission to write a story. you are the writer, you write what you damn well please. You can ask our opinions, but don't judge based on that. We'll read it and critique it if you write it, and be none the wiser if you don't.

All in all, I like this idea. What kind of world is it set in? What kind of weapons do they use? Can they use magic?

I am intrigued.

a) ender is a clan ( i was looking at a body was bottle in the shower and it had the ender in the name)

b) maybe i forgot to tell you this but it happens over a period of time like a year or two

c) i really have do idea, because this is a dream and i woke up before it was complety over

d) well i have nothing to say to that lol

What kind of world is it set in? ummmmm dunno
What kind of weapons do they use? humans: guns and stuff ender: magic
Can they use magic? yes  

[Isianya]

I agree with everyone on this one. Write it because you want to. If you think it's a good idea, go for it. I personally would have to read it before I can give an honest opinion, though.

But a word of caution, though: Please, please, please check your spelling and grammar. I don't know if you were in a hurry or something when you typed this summary, but "there" and "their" are two entirely different words with very different meanings. This can cause confusion in your readers. Which is not good. Unless you're writing suspense or mystery. Then, by all means, be ambiguous.

Good luck with writing!

.:~o*'Isianya'*o~:.  

[KirbyVictorious]

Cooooooooooooooooooool.

Ah, I love it when you get novel ideas from dreams! That's how I got my first one you know. Or at least, the first one I finished.  

[Galladonsfire]

Haha everybody is a grammar Nazi here... smile I also noticed you used "ppl" instead of people I have a friend who goes crazy when I use that so now I always say people. lol

Point being... just do a quick grammar check before topic posting. wink  

[NissianSkyLine]

i was in a hurry when i wrote this stroy!!! so sorry about the grammer and all and another things is that i ask ppl if this would be a good story to write, because i dont want to write a story that is boring and stuff.
Example: lets say you wrote a novel and you wanna get it published, but you need money, so you go and get a loan, and the next thing you know is that hardy anyone buys it and your stuck, with a loan and a bunch of books that no one would buy, so do you guys understand my point of askign ppl should i or should i not.  

[Spastic waffles]

I'm with everyone else. Write now talk later.  

[in the flicker.]

that's a good point about the loan, BUT you should really write it whether it gets published or not. i mean, you should write because you are inspired, not because you want to be published.

you should write it. it's a good idea, but write it well. i won't go crazy on your grammar or anything, but it is something to work on. i won't say that this guild is full of grammar Nazis or anything, but it IS a writing guild, and we appreciate good grammar and usage.

don't take it personally, but when you post here, using shorthand like "ppl" instead of "people" shows (me) that you're too busy to write out the word, and thus perhaps you're too busy to care all that much about what you write here. if you actually need help with grammar or would like for someone to look it over, i can do that for you.

but i really think this is a cool idea. so go write.  

[NovaKing]

KirbyVictorious

a) What's an Ender?

b) (he's in love with her) wow. Bit of an anticlimax. You'll have to be careful, people can't fall in love that fast, especially kids. No hormones then, remember?

c) This sounds in-tense. Are they destined to end the war? do they?

d) One thing you must always remember: don't ask someone's permission to write a story. you are the writer, you write what you damn well please. You can ask our opinions, but don't judge based on that. We'll read it and critique it if you write it, and be none the wiser if you don't.

All in all, I like this idea. What kind of world is it set in? What kind of weapons do they use? Can they use magic?

I am intrigued.

What makes you think there can't be love without hormones? What is love exactally and what gives you authority to say where it can and cannot flower?

(also 14 and 13 are about when hormone flux is strongest in boys, and I think girls mature faster with their hormones kicking in around 11)


You can do whatever you want in a story you just have to be sure to explain any deviations from what is expected out of something, but really you just need to mention that you yourself see it as strang, or that others in that world do too, and that will be that. Unless of course the world was geared with different mechanics, in which case it is useful to make comparisons to our humans, just to put things in perspective, but not neccessary.

[psst kirbs if he didn't want judgment to learn from then why would he ask our opinions in the first place? for that matter why would he put any completed work in the public realm? To be praised? no. He would post his work so that he could find out what others thought of his work and maybe he might choose to listen and grow from the suggestion of his fellow writers] Silly ^_^

[and I don't mean to be a grammar nazi but the word "their" implies possession, they're is the conjunction of they and are, and there implies a place - now worries though, I didn't learn that till tenth grade when my teacher pointed it out for me.]

[You should also work on your transitions...but then again that's something that comes with time, so you should just stay the course, I agree with kirbs on one thing: If you want to write something you should, you don't need our permission.  

[NovaKing]

Galladonsfire

Haha everybody is a grammar Nazi here... smile I also noticed you used "ppl" [ ninja ] instead of people I have a friend who goes crazy when I use that so now I always say people. lol

Point being... just do a quick grammar check before topic posting. wink

 

[NovaKing]

in the flicker.

that's a good point about the loan, BUT you should really write it whether it gets published or not. i mean, you should write because you are inspired, not because you want to be published.

that is by far the coolest thing I have ever heard anyone say on here...though that might be the cold talking

in the flicker.

you should write it. it's a good idea, but write it well. i won't go crazy on your grammar or anything, but it is something to work on. i won't say that this guild is full of grammar Nazis or anything, but it IS a writing guild, and we appreciate good grammar and usage.

In other words: we preffer grammar ninjas.

in the flicker.

don't take it personally, but when you post here, using shorthand like "ppl" instead of "people" shows (me) that you're too busy to write out the word, and thus perhaps you're too busy to care all that much about what you write here. if you actually need help with grammar or would like for someone to look it over, i can do that for you.

"ppl" actually takes me longer to type then "peaple" does.

in the flicker.

but i really think this is a cool idea. so go write.

Heh sorry, again that all may be the cold talking which has turned me slightly dazed.