Post your favorite joke here! Please? Thank you.

[Pixilated]

No mean or unpleasent stuff. Thanks biggrin
To get the ball rolling...
Did you hear about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?  

[LavenderLavalier]

No, I haven't.

 

[Potzi Hookman]

Here's one of my favorites, it was done by, Henny Youngman;

A man approaches the ticket desk in an air port, and orders a ticket to Los Angeles, from the woman behind the counter. She then asks if the man has any luggage. Then he places three bags before the woman behind the desk and says, "I would like this bag to go to Germany, this one to go to Arizona, and this one to England." The woman then responds, "I'm afraid we can't do that sir." He then replies, "Why not? You people did it last year."

this is a joke for the people who remember Henny.  

[Choon-Ma]

I'm not sure whether this is technically a joke, but I think it's funny...

One bright night two dead boys got up to fight. They faced each other back to back, drew their swords and shot each other. If you don't believe my story's true, ask the blind man, he saw it too!  

[Lyra Voice of Life]

o.O....I got one..PUDDING!! xd xd xd

 

[blue_moon_hanyou_13]

Two muffins were baking in an oven...
Muffin 1: I sit just me or is it hot in here?
Muffin 2: AAHHHH! A TALKING MUFFFIN!!!!!

lol...weak and stupid but it's all i could think off...  

[Khiash]

There were 3 guys. Fred, Bob, and Sam. They all died in a bar fight. They went to heaven, and God allowed them in. However, God warned them "Do not step on the green cloud, or bad things will happen." Did they listen? Of course not. The next day, Fred came back to the two with a really ugly female. (no offense) Bob and Sam asked, "What happened?" "I stepped on the green cloud." Fred said. The next day, Bob came back with another really ugly female. Fred and Sam asked, "What happened?" and Bob said to the two, "I stepped on the green cloud." The next day, Sam came back with a REALLY beautiful female. Fred and Bob asked, "What happened?" But before Sam could say anything, his female companion sighed and said "I stepped on the green cloud."  

[Pixilated]

Choon-Ma

I'm not sure whether this is technically a joke, but I think it's funny...

One bright night two dead boys got up to fight. They faced each other back to back, drew their swords and shot each other. If you don't believe my story's true, ask the blind man, he saw it too!

Cool, my neighbor told me that a long time ago, he said it a tiny bit different though...
One bright night
two dead boys got up to fight,
back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
If you don't believe my story's true,
ask the blind man, he saw it too!  

[yiilee]

Khiash

There were 3 guys. Fred, Bob, and Sam. They all died in a bar fight. They went to heaven, and God allowed them in. However, God warned them "Do not step on the green cloud, or bad things will happen." Did they listen? Of course not. The next day, Fred came back to the two with a really ugly female. (no offense) Bob and Sam asked, "What happened?" "I stepped on the green cloud." Fred said. The next day, Bob came back with another really ugly female. Fred and Sam asked, "What happened?" and Bob said to the two, "I stepped on the green cloud." The next day, Sam came back with a REALLY beautiful female. Fred and Bob asked, "What happened?" But before Sam could say anything, his female companion sighed and said "I stepped on the green cloud."

rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl
i like this one!

 

[Valoheart]

Why did they burry the firman on the other side of the hill?






Because he was dead!!!!! LOL Thank you ren and stimpy!!  

[Faith Kathryn Winters]

Valoheart

Why did they burry the firman on the other side of the hill?






Because he was dead!!!!! LOL Thank you ren and stimpy!!

rofl  

[Adenille]

Choon-Ma

I'm not sure whether this is technically a joke, but I think it's funny...

One bright night two dead boys got up to fight. They faced each other back to back, drew their swords and shot each other. If you don't believe my story's true, ask the blind man, he saw it too!

This is my favorite also! My brother and I used to have a contest to see who could say it the fastest without messing up (it's harder than it may sound). However, we have a slightly different variation:

One bright day in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise, came and arrested two dead boys.  

[_miss_aiya_]

i only know band jokes and most people dont find those funny lol
heart

 

[`Rai]

(No offence to any blondes out there.)

So there where three girls who were running from the law. One was a red-head, one was a brunette, and one was a blonde. When the cops came, the Brunette jumped into a chicken cage and began to cluck. The cops didn't notice her. When the cops neared the red-head, she jumped into a pig pen and began to snort. The cops ran past her. When the cops neared the blonde, she jumped into a potato sack and yelled "Potato, potato, potato!"


The End.

 

[`Rai]

Pixilated

No mean or unpleasent stuff. Thanks biggrin
To get the ball rolling...
Did you hear about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?

Ahahahaha!! Hammer and SAW!!!! Oh, god, it took me like ten minutes to realize that.

XD