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 Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:19 pm
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Hello everybody. I've been gone for a long while, but in that time, I've been doing alot of soul searching, looking for some sense of self,trying to deal with life, blah blah blah. You've probably heard this line somewhere or whatnot.
Anyway, when I went to college this year, still depressed, self-loathing and angry at a shitty world, I've read a book, and it emphasizes inner-dialouge. Basically, talking to yourself, but in your head, and while I still feel depressed alot, I myself get a wider view on things in a way, and can move through my depression a little easier than before.
I just thought maybe I could possibly help anybody else, by just mentioning this.
Now, you can say ANYTHING you pretty much want, so long as you're polite, and if you disagree with me, by all means do so. The world is a shitty place indeed, not all sunshine and rainbows, (wouldn't want it to be, we need rain occasionally) but maybe this could help out somewhat if you just need either something to read, or want something to think about.
The three main things I want to talk about, are called, Inner-Critic, Inner-Defender, and Inner-Guide.
Inner-Critic is basically the inner voice that bashes us whenever things go to hell. It sounds much like parent or authority figures who would judge and criticize for a great deal of things.
Example: Your lover leaves you without a word of explanation and immediately, you place all blame on yourself, saying it's your fault, you're a lousy person, and you don't deserve them because of some reason.
Inner-Defender is when you place blame with others if something goes wrong, like a self-protecting way. Kind of like our own voice when we were confused or scared, trying to avoid criticism, punishment, or beatings.
Example: Your work partner's late with their half of a project, they show up with it half-assed, and your teacher busts you both despite the other being at fault, even going so far as to say you share the blame too.
Inner-Guide looks at both sides of the story and simply asks, "Ok, where did I go wrong, and how can I get my s**t together?" "What do I need to do to avoid this same problem?" It avoids the problems of both the critic and defender. The critic only bashes you down, destroying your belief in yourself, and the defender blinds you from wanting to have a solution as best you can get (since all situations are different). And most of all, it shows to not repeat things that don't work if they are used over and over.
Example (this is my first epiphany): Your mother calls you a spoiled rotten brat over a small thing, and while you're not yelling, you still get cussed out. You could just believe what she says and increase your own self-loathing, you could scream in her face and both or one of you end up saying or doing something you'll regret. OR you stay patient and keep your cool. Then because you keep your cool, later, believe it or not, you get an apology OR you get the satisfaction knowing that you were calm in the face of fire.
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 2:00 pm
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Posted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:31 pm
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queen_of_wolves15 cool pic, is dat u? i get the same way with me dad i yell in his face or give him a straight ur a f****n a*****e look he yells at me fer the look 2 like i give a giant piece of s**t he thinks i shuld fear him, i'd rather be killed by an escaped psycho killer he says i need to learn my place he needs to learn his place and since no one else will, i've made it my purpose to do it meself i don't care wat he says i will do it i share your epiphany... i hope urs dudn't get ya hurt mine does
Yes, that is me, albiet 2 years younger. And that's good for you to stand up for yourself, and I did get hurt from mine's. And frm the things I described, you can get a bigger picture on things rather than being narrowminded like your father is.
But above all
"Be truest to thyself" |
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Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 3:38 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:09 pm
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queen_of_wolves15 Dude, ur like my online hero. that's what i tell myself all the time(in a different way) yelling at my dad didn't satisfy me much i think he's finally starting to get that if i wanted to f*** him up i would've already. he hasn't messed with me in a while. he will soon though...i can feel it. How u doin with ur father? sorry that you end up hurt from it cry i got beat so many times when i was younger... the pain fades, i assure you... urs will take longer to fade... mine faded the day my sister died that was the physical pain.. the mental stuff never leaves... that's a warning, i apologize if it sounds too bad... i am really sorry you get hurt... wish i could help. emo
Thank you for caring, and I'm glad that I'm able to do SOME good. As for my father well, he passed away a LONG time ago... and my mother is the one who gives me the most s**t. Earlier, she gives me a bullshit reason saying that she was hard on me (meaning she would kick the crap out of me, and yet RARELY yell at my other siblings) to make me strong, and I grew strong on my own, all she did was just build my anger, hatred, self-loathing, and such... And I'm sorry that you got hurt as well, but I learned that "S!@# happens" and no matter how badly we want things to have been different, they already happened. And all we can do is what we have been given. *gives you tissue*
As a great man once said, "This too shall pass in time" |
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 5:02 pm
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SOLDIER-X Genesis queen_of_wolves15 Dude, ur like my online hero. that's what i tell myself all the time(in a different way) yelling at my dad didn't satisfy me much i think he's finally starting to get that if i wanted to f*** him up i would've already. he hasn't messed with me in a while. he will soon though...i can feel it. How u doin with ur father? sorry that you end up hurt from it cry i got beat so many times when i was younger... the pain fades, i assure you... urs will take longer to fade... mine faded the day my sister died that was the physical pain.. the mental stuff never leaves... that's a warning, i apologize if it sounds too bad... i am really sorry you get hurt... wish i could help. emo Thank you for caring, and I'm glad that I'm able to do SOME good. As for my father well, he passed away a LONG time ago... and my mother is the one who gives me the most s**t. Earlier, she gives me a bullshit reason saying that she was hard on me (meaning she would kick the crap out of me, and yet RARELY yell at my other siblings) to make me strong, and I grew strong on my own, all she did was just build my anger, hatred, self-loathing, and such... And I'm sorry that you got hurt as well, but I learned that "S!@# happens" and no matter how badly we want things to have been different, they already happened. And all we can do is what we have been given. *gives you tissue* As a great man once said, "This too shall pass in time"
*accepts tissue*
your sooo still my online hero.
my parents don't claim to try to make me stronger, just punish me.
my mom just stands and watches while my dad does the work
nowdays he's so injured he just yells alot...
good to know someone cares a little bit...
and all pain passes in time, soldier
all people are pained in such a life and war
~sigh~ too bad it usually happens to the best of us... |
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 9:23 pm
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queen_of_wolves15 SOLDIER-X Genesis queen_of_wolves15 Dude, ur like my online hero. that's what i tell myself all the time(in a different way) yelling at my dad didn't satisfy me much i think he's finally starting to get that if i wanted to f*** him up i would've already. he hasn't messed with me in a while. he will soon though...i can feel it. How u doin with ur father? sorry that you end up hurt from it cry i got beat so many times when i was younger... the pain fades, i assure you... urs will take longer to fade... mine faded the day my sister died that was the physical pain.. the mental stuff never leaves... that's a warning, i apologize if it sounds too bad... i am really sorry you get hurt... wish i could help. emo Thank you for caring, and I'm glad that I'm able to do SOME good. As for my father well, he passed away a LONG time ago... and my mother is the one who gives me the most s**t. Earlier, she gives me a bullshit reason saying that she was hard on me (meaning she would kick the crap out of me, and yet RARELY yell at my other siblings) to make me strong, and I grew strong on my own, all she did was just build my anger, hatred, self-loathing, and such... And I'm sorry that you got hurt as well, but I learned that "S!@# happens" and no matter how badly we want things to have been different, they already happened. And all we can do is what we have been given. *gives you tissue* As a great man once said, "This too shall pass in time" *accepts tissue* your sooo still my online hero. my parents don't claim to try to make me stronger, just punish me. my mom just stands and watches while my dad does the work nowdays he's so injured he just yells alot... good to know someone cares a little bit... and all pain passes in time, soldier all people are pained in such a life and war ~sigh~ too bad it usually happens to the best of us...
You are correct, and thank you for saying I'm your online hero, I'm flattered (not sarcastic). I think maybe sometimes those who suffer to the best of us, it enables us to understand others pain and can provide some kind of comfort, or at least show that they're not alone and others understand. "One-X" by Three Days Grace is a good example in my opinion of the general idea, with these lyrics"
"We are the one's, we get knocked down, we get back up, and stand above the crowd, we are One." |
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:27 pm
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SOLDIER-X Genesis queen_of_wolves15 SOLDIER-X Genesis queen_of_wolves15 Dude, ur like my online hero. that's what i tell myself all the time(in a different way) yelling at my dad didn't satisfy me much i think he's finally starting to get that if i wanted to f*** him up i would've already. he hasn't messed with me in a while. he will soon though...i can feel it. How u doin with ur father? sorry that you end up hurt from it cry i got beat so many times when i was younger... the pain fades, i assure you... urs will take longer to fade... mine faded the day my sister died that was the physical pain.. the mental stuff never leaves... that's a warning, i apologize if it sounds too bad... i am really sorry you get hurt... wish i could help. emo Thank you for caring, and I'm glad that I'm able to do SOME good. As for my father well, he passed away a LONG time ago... and my mother is the one who gives me the most s**t. Earlier, she gives me a bullshit reason saying that she was hard on me (meaning she would kick the crap out of me, and yet RARELY yell at my other siblings) to make me strong, and I grew strong on my own, all she did was just build my anger, hatred, self-loathing, and such... And I'm sorry that you got hurt as well, but I learned that "S!@# happens" and no matter how badly we want things to have been different, they already happened. And all we can do is what we have been given. *gives you tissue* As a great man once said, "This too shall pass in time" *accepts tissue* your sooo still my online hero. my parents don't claim to try to make me stronger, just punish me. my mom just stands and watches while my dad does the work nowdays he's so injured he just yells alot... good to know someone cares a little bit... and all pain passes in time, soldier all people are pained in such a life and war ~sigh~ too bad it usually happens to the best of us... You are correct, and thank you for saying I'm your online hero, I'm flattered (not sarcastic). I think maybe sometimes those who suffer to the best of us, it enables us to understand others pain and can provide some kind of comfort, or at least show that they're not alone and others understand. "One-X" by Three Days Grace is a good example in my opinion of the general idea, with these lyrics" "We are the one's, we get knocked down, we get back up, and stand above the crowd, we are One."
I love three days grace, nice quote.
wat's ur favorite song of their's? mine is Pain from one-x
ur a pretty cool guy, and interesting to talk to |
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 9:45 pm
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Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:54 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:53 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:35 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 2:51 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 5:33 pm
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Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 2:44 pm
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