Mah cult storiez

[[Kegan]]

It was late one night, and some hideous ginger sat at his desk rapping his fingers upon it... bored. The internet brought him no entertainment for like 15 minutes. He browsed the pages of some shitty guild called "Why Not", where he would, in less than a month's time, become a moderator.

He browsed the fora of this guild every day, there were at least a million subfora. The forum goers of "Why Not" were all unforgivably annoying, and this young man played along too, they spun together webs of emote-icons and syntactical travesties, peppering in the word(citation needed) "glomp" every word or so. He almost fit in, really. And one day as browsing the main forum, he came upon a banner in some user's signature(the guy with the gray hair and red eyes in FS's Wind Waker style group shot, actually. He still remains nameless to me.) he saw this banner, and all of it's animated goodness. Some guy called the spork ninja had made this, he wanted to meet this ninja! Anyway, after watching Nintendo's E3 presentation, who wouldn't sign up for a "Nintendo Cult"?

A day later the fox eared ginger avatar-d boy-- who was totally not a furry! received his confirmation, from the captain no doubt, some awesome older kid named Meta_Fish! "Wow, the captain himself! If he acknowledges me I will cream myself!" said the Ginger, in his abomination of a head. He met all sorts of cool people there, some guy who claimed himself to be a pyro, and some kid who was very much convinced he was a cat! That cat b*****d kept copying his threads; quite infuriating! Some guy named Waynebrizzle was around who had apparently been banned or something, and the captain had just come back to the guild... or something, He felt as if he had just missed some drama... he knew nothing of internet drama... NOTHING!

Within the week he was participating as if he had always been there! There were artist's like Forsaken Swordsman, and all kinds of people you could imagine-- And there were some Canadians too!

One day as the ginger logged on to browse his two favorite forum spots(and MPL too... but that.... is for another day.) he received a private message from the guild vice-captain(a home schooled acne ridden 20 something, who often bragged about things such as how long she could go without showering... and wife of the guild captain) of "why not"-- a prrrrrrrrrrr'motion! Recently The boy was becoming less and less interested in the guild, chatting mostly with one person in particular, a moderator of the guild, actually-- but this was awesome! He had become a guild moderator in a front page guild. He messaged his friend to tell him to "guess what." learning that his friend and the vice captain had had a falling out, and he had quit the guild. He congratulated me anyway, knowing I had wanted this, but it was bittersweet... As he browsed the fora, full of people he really didn't know he noticed all traces of his friend had been wiped away, from stickies to his posts in the moderator forum.

The acne ridden VC told him not to worry about it, and "just keep inviting people, so we can finally outrank those nasty MPLers on the guilds page." The boy really didn't know what his acquaintances over in Magical Poll Land had done to earn rancor of this zitty woman, but knew it probably had something to do with internet drama.

Even then he drifted from this guild. He was one of 11 moderators, and he had nothing to do. He found himself growing weary of them, and increasingly fond of these cult characters. Two weeks later he bid a fond "Later, bitches" to the people of Why Not, and quit the guild.

He became fully engaged in this cult, even going to camp with them! He and a character named Lifeless-Fox even shared a cabin! Yes, he still remembers the days at camp, spambombing the bonfire! Feeding the <******** horse! And of course not winning a wii.

That was 3 years ago, and though the faces may change and they may all get caught up in the drama, the boy still returns.

Also, everyone secretly hates Meta_Fish. The end.

NEXT TIME: MAH CULT STORIES TWO: SPOTLIGHT ABONIATIONS "The drama get's drama-er"  

[J of The Wind]

heart

Lol, innernet drama. A lot of thi story sound slike me in a way, right down to the Fox ears part XDD

Except for the ginger part too.  

[Waynebrizzle]

I love the randomly bolded words.  

[Orphie]

Waynebrizzle

I love the randomly bolded words.

It's like comics, how they randomly bold words. Like "the".  

[l-Kathulu-l]

That ginger kid seems like a b***h.  

[Kani Tochimeijin]

What do you mean secretly?  

[[Kegan]]

I'm skipping to spin offs!

Mah cult Storiez: Threnody of a Hypothetical ***** day a grown man dreamed his usual dream, he was in an elementary school and had convinced all the young attractive girls that his d**k was a loli-pop.(GET IT?) For you see, due to mental illness an obsession with the much more civilized Japanese people, this man was unable to feel for people his own age. People his own age had simply lost all their appeal innocence and were too hairyjaded!

Then he heard sirens.

"Oh, s**t, I'm not dreaming." he realized, and he tried to run. But it turned out that he was infact made of candy.

All of the children and all of the police officers had weaboo that night, and it was delicious.

The end.  

[Waynebrizzle]

Orphie

Waynebrizzle

I love the randomly bolded words.

It's like comics, how they randomly bold words. Like "the".

Did you inspire that as part of my birthday gift too?  

[Orphie]

Waynebrizzle

Orphie

Waynebrizzle

I love the randomly bolded words.

It's like comics, how they randomly bold words. Like "the".

Did you inspire that as part of my birthday gift too?

Yes, I did.  

[Waynebrizzle]

Orphie

Waynebrizzle

Orphie

Waynebrizzle

I love the randomly bolded words.

It's like comics, how they randomly bold words. Like "the".

Did you inspire that as part of my birthday gift too?

Yes, I did.

well that was very thoughtful thank you  

[CYBERPUNK PANDA]

I stopped by, I saw, I lol'd  

[[Kegan]]

The Legend of Kegan: A Link to The Cool

Kegan was a pretty sweet guy, bro, he was a master swordsman, and everyone though" o lol kegan is my hero, bro! he has the powers to killl us all but doesn'tbecause is cool and is master of thelight force of cool"

That's, word for word, what they said. People talk like that, ya know.

Well, one day link Kegan was being all cool and s**t, and he said, hey b***h, go get me a coke. to his minion Minor Flash Jewnose: The Hated One, who Kegan had taken under his wing of coolness as a magnanimous show of his coolness. The ungrateful b*****d Minor Flash Jewnose: The Hated One replied, get your own damn soda, so using his awesome ninja skills and stretchy arms(because Minor Flash Jewnose: The Hated One was across the room) he cut Minor Flash Jewnose: The Hated One's head off. That'll teach him a lesson, and by him I mean Minor Flash Jewnose: The Hated One.

But then he remembered he only drank ramen juice, the source of his MSG fueled superpowers(and if he had one, his only weakness. He doesn't have any weaknesses, though, and can still kick a** without it.) and in an act of compassion brought Minor Flash Jewnose: The Hated One back to life. He would have apologized, but Minor Flash Jewnose: The Hated One just understood and like an awesome broski he went and got Kegan some instant cup ramen.

When he brought out the instant cup ramen Kegan patted him on the head, and received his prized cup. As he was about to begin the feasting Kegan noticed the label marked "Beef s**t soup" and threw it(the instant cup ramen) at his shitty assistant. Maiming him for life. That'll teach him to do whatever he did.

YOU KNOW I'M A VEGETARIAN! I ONLY EAT ONION s**t SOUP!--

But then the K-phone rang, in was WayneBro: The Brizzled! Waynebro's significantly less handsome than Kegan(but less maimed than Minor Flash Jewnose: The Hated One) face appeared on the screen(It's a vodeo call) Hey bro, there's a sick party up at the castle! Bitches be doing s**t up in here!

And so, leaving Waynebro completely hanging Kegan, along with his maimed assistant (Minor Flash Jewnose: The Hated One) set off from the Cool Cave to attend the Totally sick party.

Too be continued?

 

[Nomega]

That was pretty much the strangest thing I've ever read.  

[Waynebrizzle]

WayneBrozzle  

[Meta_Fish]

AHHH SO WEIRD scream