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An amusing little piece I wrote back in November last year. Tell me what you think.
Okay, so let's start with a fictional account. Sorry if my fiction is bad, but my goal is to make a point, not create a twisting plot with wonderful characters. Let's say I'm about 35 and I have a huge amount of debt. I partied too much during college, I bought a bunch of clothes, I went on vacation to foreign lands and I owe the banks and credit companies a ton of money. I was stupid. I got an office job that is crappy, where I have to make copies, do coffee runs, distribute messages and documents and so on. I have to work 12 hours a day, my wages get garnished to the point that I'm living on ramen and renting a tiny hole in the wall where the train barrels through at 2am, 3am, 4am.
One day my boss calls me over and tells me something wonderful has happened. A man with gentle blue eyes, long wavy hair, wearing a white suit and carrying a silver cane. With him is a business man who is young, clean cut and seem eager and full of energy. It's obviously the cane guy's assistant.
"This man has paid for all your debts, and you are now free to go." My boss tells me.
"What?" I am surprised, my mind hardly able to grasp the words. "Wait, why? Why is my debt being paid off? I earned it and I have to pay it off myself."
"You would be dead before that happened." My boss laughed, "Athena, this man is named Jesus Christ. Why don't you ask him yourself? I'll leave you two to chat."
"Uh, yeah.... I owe a lot of money and it would take forever to pay it off. So... why are you paying my debt for me?"
"First of all it's already been done, you owe the creditors nothing. And it is because I am a generous, wonderful guy. What I do is run a successful company and I give back by helping people get a new lease on life. I think you have a lot to offer and you are not suited for being a gopher at an office."
"Uh, thanks. Um, I guess I'll work here for a few weeks and then find a better job. Hahah, maybe I'll open a shop, or write some books or something. Thank you."
"She doesn't get it." the assistant whispered.
"Athena, why don't you work for me as a PR representative? I provide wonderful housing, great pay, benefits, and you only have to work three days a week. Your coworkers are wonderful people, and live very happy, purpose filled lives. You would be very happy with the job, I am very generous. All you would have to do is tell people about how wonderful I am."
"Umm, can I get back to you on that? I've been working nonstop for the past two years."
"We could move all your stuff to your new condo and you wouldn't have to start until next month."
"Can I think about it?"
The assistant pulls out a gun. "Lady, I suggest you take the offer. You won't regret it."
I pull back, knowing that instant death could be contained in cold metal. "What is that for?"
"You simply don't understand Athena, when I bought your debt I bought you. You belong to me, and I am a jealous master. I want my employees to be happy, but they have to choose to come with me."
"This is not a choice!"
"Certainly it is. You have two choices: come with me, or die. You would have died early, working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, alone in your little room. I'm just making the result of that life more obvious."
My mind raced. He couldn't be telling the truth! No one makes such a good offer at gunpoint! What is he hiding, what is this "job" really like?
"I refuse."
The assistant pulled the trigger, a loud bang erupted, and I was hit right below the rib. Pain seared throughout my body and I fell on my knees.
Jesus walked out of the room saying, "my offer still stands."
The assistant bent down to my level, " I suggest you take the offer, here's my card. The bullets just a beebee and will heal, but this is just a warning. We could come back at any time, and we play with people like you."
"Why do you do this?"
"Oh, well, I'm an assistant but you could also call me a hit man. I do the dirty work so my boss' hands stay clean. But he's really telling the truth, working for him is great. Anyways, got some more people to hire, be sure to give JC a ring."
There were two business cards in my hand, one for Jesus Christ, and one for Satan.
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