If I wanted a girlfriend... (The Shitty Ex Thread)

[Keeskee]

This is inspired not by an ex, but by someone very soon to be one, I feel.

Many of you have heard of The Wolf- or Andy- the current beau of our fair lady Keeskee.

Something happened tonight that didn't make me angry. No. I'm ******** LIVID.

My boyfriend works nights and gets off at midnight. At eight, he texts me from work and asks if I want to get together and just rush it in the morning to get out to class on time. I wanted to have a bath and crash early, but I'm going to a wedding on the weekend and won't see him for a week, so I say, 'Yeah, okay.'

He shows up around midnight, and I'm behind throwing my s**t in a bag. It takes me all of, oh, five minutes to power down and pack up my computer.

By the time I make it outside, his car is gone.

I call.

All he says to me is, "I've already left. I'll see you next week."

Of course, now I'm ******** angry. I'm left standing on my porch after I could've been sleeping or doing something useful, and I spend twenty minutes trashing it out with my roommate, who now thinks my boyfriend's a sack of s**t.

Andy just got on MSN, and his first response is to tell me I'm immature and he's tired of waiting for me.

I just waited three hours, just to see him. He can't handle ten ******** you.

What have your shitty boyfriends/girlfriends/exes done lately?  

[Harusame Mizukishi]

I've been single for over a year.

I have nothing to say.  

[Sir Codin]

My ex-girlfriend and I talk okay.

We went with the whole "going back to being just friends" approach.  

[[Kegan]]

I made a rough draft of the dramatic reading for your novela.


I'll do a more serious reading when you show me a suave ginger playboy with the voice and appearance of a person 5 years younger(despite being nearly 6 feet tall)... who gets checked for ID when he buys vidya gaemz

And yeah, I love myself, but I can be a real d**k sometimes. Men, amirite?  

[StormDawn]

Keeskee, Send me his Address.
honestly, I will chop off his head.
That is one of the worst things I have ever had the displeasure of hearing of.
I will kill him for you.
Anyone able to make my jaw drop as such deserves at least that.
(Not only my reaction, And the act he did to you as well merits more.)
Please.
Tell me.  

[Kuzodav]

Nope.
Everything is more than dandy with my girlfriend and I.  

[Kuzodav]

StormDawn

Keeskee, Send me his Address.
honestly, I will chop off his head.
That is one of the worst things I have ever had the displeasure of hearing of.
I will kill him for you.
Anyone able to make my jaw drop as such deserves at least that.
(Not only my reaction, And the act he did to you as well merits more.)
Please.
Tell me.

You're just a tad over-zealous, don't you think?


He just ditched his girlfriend.
It's not like he boned some other girl on her doorstep, or showed up with a girl on his shoulder, and lipstick across his face.

I'm not saying what he did isn't bad.
But seriously.
Calm it down, dude.
For real.  

[[Kegan]]

CUT HIS d**k OFF! MAKE HIM EAT IT!  

[Keeskee]

******** all of you and your functional relationships, guiz. I need a fist-shake emote.

StormDawn

Keeskee, Send me his Address.
honestly, I will chop off his head.
That is one of the worst things I have ever had the displeasure of hearing of.
I will kill him for you.
Anyone able to make my jaw drop as such deserves at least that.
(Not only my reaction, And the act he did to you as well merits more.)
Please.
Tell me.

Christ, you're creepy sometimes!

And I battled it out with him and it's due to my being constantly slow and late getting out the door, which I guess I can understand, but as somehow who will wait up to two hours for late people and considers walking away the action to do to express disrespect for someone... no, actually, I really don't get it at all.

He didn't know I don't go to bed at midnight normally, what with my 8:30 or 10:00 classes in the morning. (LAWL.)

Also, I managed to get him to promise to finally come out and meet my ******** friends.

This is looking more and more like a case of complete and total lost in translation.

We go to have a fight and end up with a truce that looks like something drawn up between the English and the French.

Time to go sleep for five and a half hours and try to persuade my roomie that my boyfriend isn't a ******** douchebag and make all my friends hate him before they meet him.

This uneasy truce is annoyinglu high-maintenance.  

[J of The Wind]

StormDawn

Keeskee, Send me his Address.
honestly, I will chop off his head.
That is one of the worst things I have ever had the displeasure of hearing of.
I will kill him for you.
Anyone able to make my jaw drop as such deserves at least that.
(Not only my reaction, And the act he did to you as well merits more.)
Please.
Tell me.

Woah, a little overboard there huh bud?

Maybe just Egg his house and such...


But anyway, Im not one to post a one-up story, but I think what hapened to me was a little worse... And the fact that im still trying to make things work. :

Im dreadfully sorry for what happened to you Keeskee. This type of treatment does not deserve the love and attention that i am sure you were willing to devote.  

[StormDawn]

[Kegan]

CUT HIS d**k OFF! MAKE HIM EAT IT!

This and moar.
Kuzo, I can't believe I am saying this, but you are a bigger a*****e than I am.
it shocks and appalls me that you can seriously talk down to everyone and make it so you always get your way, more than i thought was humanly possible.
I salute you, And I am saddened by your loss of humanity.  

[Keeskee]

Kuzodav

StormDawn

Keeskee, Send me his Address.
honestly, I will chop off his head.
That is one of the worst things I have ever had the displeasure of hearing of.
I will kill him for you.
Anyone able to make my jaw drop as such deserves at least that.
(Not only my reaction, And the act he did to you as well merits more.)
Please.
Tell me.

You're just a tad over-zealous, don't you think?


He just ditched his girlfriend.
It's not like he boned some other girl on her doorstep, or showed up with a girl on his shoulder, and lipstick across his face.

I'm not saying what he did isn't bad.
But seriously.
Calm it down, dude.
For real.

This, please.

The only person who can get unreasonably angry at this is me.

@Kegan: Young-looking Gingers make good additions to pornoish Harlequin novels.  

[Keeskee]

StormDawn

[Kegan]

CUT HIS d**k OFF! MAKE HIM EAT IT!

This and moar.
Kuzo, I can't believe I am saying this, but you are a bigger a*****e than I am.
it shocks and appalls me that you can seriously talk down to everyone and make it so you always get your way, more than i thought was humanly possible.
I salute you, And I am saddened by your loss of humanity.

Hey now, Kuzo and I are assholes together.

Like... butt buddies.

I'm not offended by his apathy. Why are you?  

[StormDawn]

Keeskee

StormDawn

Keeskee, Send me his Address.
honestly, I will chop off his head.
That is one of the worst things I have ever had the displeasure of hearing of.
I will kill him for you.
Anyone able to make my jaw drop as such deserves at least that.
(Not only my reaction, And the act he did to you as well merits more.)
Please.
Tell me.

Christ, you're creepy sometimes!

And I battled it out with him and it's due to my being constantly slow and late getting out the door, which I guess I can understand, but as somehow who will wait up to two hours for late people and considers walking away the action to do to express disrespect for someone... no, actually, I really don't get it at all.

He didn't know I don't go to bed at midnight normally, what with my 8:30 or 10:00 classes in the morning. (LAWL.)

Also, I managed to get him to promise to finally come out and meet my ******** friends.

This is looking more and more like a case of complete and total lost in translation.

We go to have a fight and end up with a truce that looks like something drawn up between the English and the French.

Time to go sleep for five and a half hours and try to persuade my roomie that my boyfriend isn't a ******** douchebag and make all my friends hate him before they meet him.

This uneasy truce is annoyinglu high-maintenance.

honestly, Women are expected to be at least five minutes behind at any given time. i don't mean this in any derogatory way shape or form, but it is the truth. But to honestly disregard that fact, and that you happened to wait about 30 times as long as he did, merits a great deal of punishment in my books.
And yes.
I am creepy.
I always will be.
I actually enjoy the fact.  

[StormDawn]

Keeskee

StormDawn

[Kegan]

CUT HIS d**k OFF! MAKE HIM EAT IT!

This and moar.
Kuzo, I can't believe I am saying this, but you are a bigger a*****e than I am.
it shocks and appalls me that you can seriously talk down to everyone and make it so you always get your way, more than i thought was humanly possible.
I salute you, And I am saddened by your loss of humanity.

Hey now, Kuzo and I are assholes together.

Like... butt buddies.

I'm not offended by his apathy. Why are you?

Because i didn't think until now that someone could be worse than me in that respect.
I am not offended, I am simply awed and disheartened by it.