Welcome to Gaia! ::

I don't expect any of you to understand my angle. Those of you that think you do are more than likely wrong. Sometimes I feel like there is more than just one of me. I feel split in half, or even farther. I don't have a singular personality that can be defined as "me". There is no "Me". I am Saga Shadow, I am Nathaniel, I am Joseph, I am Thomas. I am not just one person, but so many that I question which is real and which ones are fake.

Parts of me contradict others. I feel like I'm tearing apart at the seams. I can no longer control my own mind. I may be going insane. But so be it. If it can help define who I am, then let me be crazy, send me to a padded room in a straight jacket. As long as I can figure out who I am!

I don't feel God anymore. I can never doubt what I believe, but I've grown cold. I've been numbed, and this only adds to my insanity. Give me my life back! Give me feeling, somebody! Am I even a follower anymore?

WHO AM I!?

I just don't know anymore

Having two minds isn't so bad...

Whatever you may think they're all you, not every aspect of them of course, but the heart of each of them is who you as a person are. You've picked yourself apart, and the problems you're having now are because you think you have to be just one person.

You don't feel god because some part of you does question, maybe that's the cause of the split, I don't know.

Either way, the most important thing for you to do right now is not worry about it. All of these problems your having are because of an internal struggle you're having with yourself, otherwise the separate pieces would be working in harmony, and you'd be a whole person. Don't search for the answer inside yourself, if you had it, you wouldn't be having the problem. Search outside yourself, find your answers, not to this problem, but the answers to the questions you might not even know you have. You'll find definition in your answers, or if not in them, in the search for them.

Above all though, stop believing that you don't have definition, that you don't feel your chosen deity, that you can't feel. This problem exists in you because something in you is creating it, and you are who you are only because you choose to be.

thanks all of you for your kind words. I feel like I'm figuring things out, slowly but surely. My doubts have led me to answers. I'm coming closer to truth.