Do you think your childhood was tough?

[[Kegan]]

My mom practically kicked my a** out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my dad.

My only friend till I was 10 was the f*****t p***k next door who was always beating the s**t out of me and telling me I wasn’t worth s**t. Its not even like I had a choice, the town ******** had something like 9 people living in it, I s**t you not.

That's not even the worst of it!

My entire adolescence was just moving around from place trying to get along with people who didn’t even want me.  

[Orphie]

I got pregnant at 5 and was raped by my own child.  

[[Kegan]]

My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or something, who only kept me around because he thought I could help him get laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, she was flat as a pancake sure, but damn she was a total nympho. She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in hitting me and telling me how she loved to get wet.

Yep, those were my friends...  

[Skaeryll]

Orphie

I got pregnant at 5 and was raped by my own child.

xD That's terrible.  

[[Kegan]]

That was all awful on it's own, but dear god the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT seem to avoid. You know these types of couples that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each other’s sentences? Yeah they were ******** creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were, I swear this thing would never shut the ******** up.

Like I said I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time.  

[[Kegan]]

Yeah, it was a real shitfest. (None of you see to care, so I'm just gonna finish my monologue)

The only thing that kept me going was my dream... Do you know what my dream was?  

[Orphie]

Raping your mother? Because that's what you did.

crying  

[[Kegan]]

No...

I wanted to be...




...
THE VERY BEST, LIKE NOONE EVER WAS!
TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL QUEST!
TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE!

I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND!
SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE!
TEACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND...
THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIDE!

POKEMON!
GOTTA CATCH 'EM--IT'S YOU AND ME!
I KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY!

POKEMON!

OH YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND--IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEND!

POKEMON
A HEART SO TRUE!
OUR COURAGE WILL PULL US THROUGH!

YOU TEACH ME AND I'LL TEACH YOU!
POKEMOOOOOOOOON!

GOTTA CATCH'EM ALL!
GOTTA CATCH'EM AAAAALL!

POKEMON!  

[Orphie]

XD I love you, Kegan.  

[Super Cheesio]

Oh my god. rofl I knew you obviously weren't telling the truth, but when I saw the Pokemon theme and realized that's the childhood of Ash I nearly fell off my seat. xd  

[[Kegan]]

I saw this

Quote:

So you think you had a hard childhood? Well screw you, it's got nothing on mine.

My mom practically kicked my a** out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my dad. My only friend till I was 10 was the f*****t p***k next door who was always beating the s**t out of me and telling me I wasn’t worth s**t. Its not even like I had a choice, the town ******** had something like 9 people living in it, I s**t you not. My entire adolescence was just moving around from place trying to get along with people who didn’t even want me.

You think that’s the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or something, who only kept me around because he thought I could help him get laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, she was flat as a pancake sure, but damn she was a total nympho. She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in hitting me and telling me how she loved to get wet.

But dear god the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT seem to avoid. You know these types of couples that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each other’s sentences? Yeah they were ******** creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were, I swear this thing would never shut the ******** up.
Like I said I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time.

The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a Pokemon master.

and took some artistic license in modifying it for a post by post retelling.  

[Xathoa]

rofl
This is hilarious.

 

[Orphie]

[Kegan]

I saw this

Quote:

So you think you had a hard childhood? Well screw you, it's got nothing on mine.

My mom practically kicked my a** out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my dad. My only friend till I was 10 was the f*****t p***k next door who was always beating the s**t out of me and telling me I wasn’t worth s**t. Its not even like I had a choice, the town ******** had something like 9 people living in it, I s**t you not. My entire adolescence was just moving around from place trying to get along with people who didn’t even want me.

You think that’s the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or something, who only kept me around because he thought I could help him get laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, she was flat as a pancake sure, but damn she was a total nympho. She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in hitting me and telling me how she loved to get wet.

But dear god the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT seem to avoid. You know these types of couples that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each other’s sentences? Yeah they were ******** creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were, I swear this thing would never shut the ******** up.
Like I said I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time.

The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a Pokemon master.

and took some artistic license in modifying it for a post by post retelling.

I've seen that before, but I had completely forgotten about it. That was pretty funny.  

[Skaeryll]

xD Oh god Kegan that was awesome.  

[StormDawn]

******** rights.
I so should have caught on.