Emotional, Friends or Family Issues

[Oni_Soul]

If you want to talk about Emotional, Friends or Family issues, you can talk here.  

[iZann]

Yeah, I've got something I'd like to rant about...just to make me feel better, you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

I have a group of friends I'm really close to, but recently...well s**t happened.

Friend A has REALLY REALLY strict, traditional Chinese parents, and because he's the oldest son, his parents want him to be the best, and I MEAN the best...they want him to go to Oxford and study Law. He didn't get into Oxford, but he got into Stanford...which as we all know, is already really good. His parents however are unhappy because their eldest son didn't get into Oxford, so they beat him until he had to be taken into hospital. And when he got back out, he was so unhappy that he started cutting himself and taking drugs.

Friend B's parents are messed up, they're getting a divorce and none of them want to take her along. So now she's not sure which parent she's going with, but whoever it is they're not going to want her. Plus, she just broke up with her boyfriend. So she started drinking, smoking, cutting and taking drugs.

Friend C had a crush on her teacher, and their relationship developped...and somehow the vice-principle found out, and now she's in really deep s**t and might be expelled. And Friend C is pissed at Friend A because she thinks that it was him who told the vice-principle, when in truth it's not--it was the councellor who told, but she won't listen.

Friend D is in the same scenario as Friend A--strict parents, and he started cutting himself, smoking and drinking.

Only me and Friend E are the remaining sane people, and Friend E's parents are getting a divorce...and HE'S starting to become dark and gloomy as well.

So now I'm technically the only sane person remaining...I can't do anything to help my friends, and as lame as this sounds, I feel really useless. Why does all this f*cking s**t have to happen?  

[Fist of the Bro Star]

It happens when it happens. Hopefully, you'll learn something out of this and it'll be a remarkable experience for you (though you probably don't see it as such right now).

Now, what all friends A-E really need right now is someone to be there for them, a friend. It could be you, or it could not be. It all depends on how much time you can put into your social life. You can't get involved with their parents. They're not going to listen to you, and if anything it'll just make things worse. Friend B is probably the really cheerful and funny one, right? Or at least she used to be? If so then that means she's probably had this kinda problem with her parents for a while, and now it's finally showing itself in massive depression and lonliness. Again, be there for her. Try to take her out to hang somewhere, away from family and drugs and whatever.

Friend A is suffering quite possibly the worst. You can't pull him away from his parents, because they're too attached and watchful of him (though maybe I'm wrong if he's getting away with drugs and whatever). You might have already done it, but let him know how incredible he is to get into Stanford of all places! That's great! Tell him he'll ruin his life by taking drugs and cutting himself, and if he says that he doesn't care, then get pissed and MAKE him care about his life, because he just might seriously kill himself. He's probably going to need a psychologist.

Friend C is delusional and isn't going to listen to anybody, so forget about her for now you got bigger fish to fry. Later on when she's calmed down and hopefully is still in school, she'll come to a depressing realization and THAT'S when you can comfort her a little. Maybe get her to apologize to friend A while you're at it.

Friend D is a lesser version of friend A, but he's going to need just as much help. I suggest getting friend E off his a** and get him to help you with the rest of your friends, because for one you're going to need it, and two it'll keep his mind off the divorce and give him a project to do.

I'll ask around for any better advice, and keep me updated on developing progress, but that should get you started.  

[Dripples]

Ahh yes
here is mine..

So there is Friend A-C ..... lol so 3

Friend A used to be my best friend, but his parents are divorced, so he punched his mom (who he was living with) after the divorce and cussed at her. His mom was well REALLLLLY pissed off and grabbed a metal stick and started pounding him with the stick. After the beating was done, he broke a leg, so he called the police. And so now his mom is in jail for like idk how long. So now he is living with his dad. Friend A was smart enough to kno that if he fought with his dad as well, hed be homeless, so he didn't. But hes 10 days younger then me and he smokes.....

Friend B, well hes actually pretty sane, but he takes drugs. Actually no nvm hes insane. He sells drugs, he takes it, and he smokes for not dam reason at all. And hes 12! He used to be a good friend, but when i found out he was doing all that, so he asked me if I wanted some drugs, so I just punched him in the face. For someone who was taking drugs, he was really weak. I was able to kick his a**. But sometimes we hang out, but im never gonna get over that fact.

Friend C, probably the most insane guy... but hes 17. His parents are both in jail, his dad for killing someone, and his mom for abusing friend C. He smokes, does drugs, smokes WEED, MARIJUANA, and all that s**t. He carries a knife at all times, and he uses it when he gets into fights. BUt for some reason, when he sees me, he acts all friendly and all kind. Im glad cuz of that, and hes really nice, but hes doing all this stuff. Hes a friend of my brother, and they used to be best friends, but now there just good firneds, but my brother tries to avoid him sometimes.  

[Unrelinquished Despair]

Well, I'll just list my current problems here.

Currently, I reside in Germany, in a DoDDSE environment. I'm a military child and travel around with my deployed parent and such with the rest of my family. My father has been back from his second deployment to Iraq and ties between my parents have gone to hell. There've been several fights between them, but its never been as bad as it was today. Although I missed it, for some reason my father ninja'd into my mothers email and read a conversation between them. He blew up and had another fight with her, the end result was him moving out with one of his soldiers. (He's only an E-5, so he's got like 4 soldiers under his command.) He took the best computer in the house, but he bought a somewhat better one, thought it can't be over clocked like that one. Right now, the situation in the family is a bit horrid, but I remain resilient with my somewhat insensitive shield. Any tips on how to resolve and stay through this situation?

I have two sisters and me.  

[Fist of the Bro Star]

I'll get to dripples later, but loller, I can tell you that you basically just can't get involved with this one. Either the parents will work it out themselves, or separate. Sorry to say, but trying to involve yourself in the clash is just going to get you hurt, as they're probably not going to listen to anything you say. If I were you, I'd keep my head down and comfort your sisters. Depending on if they're younger than you or not, they're going to take this hard, possibly harder than yourself. So, in summary, keep as far away from the fight as possible and as long as possible, and bring your sisters with you. Don't let them get involved in it either.  

[Unrelinquished Despair]

Well.. I'm the middle child, but I try my best by making them laugh, doing stupid things and such. u.u;; The problem is that I want to help, and that mostly comes from how open my mother was to us, we could talk about anything with her. She even acted like an idiot with us, pretty much like a best friend, best mom ever. >_>;; My dad is awesome too.. he's finishing college and is planning you rack up 6 digits a year for the job he gets when hes out of the military. Sure going with my mom is the right decision, or the one with the most sense, but without money, you can't survive in this world. >_<;;  

[bb3000ae]

lollerskates101

Well.. I'm the middle child, but I try my best by making them laugh, doing stupid things and such. u.u;; The problem is that I want to help, and that mostly comes from how open my mother was to us, we could talk about anything with her. She even acted like an idiot with us, pretty much like a best friend, best mom ever. >_>;; My dad is awesome too.. he's finishing college and is planning you rack up 6 digits a year for the job he gets when hes out of the military. Sure going with my mom is the right decision, or the one with the most sense, but without money, you can't survive in this world. >_<;;

Well this sounds a lot like my story though I was the eldest child. I loved both my parents a lot and they divroced when I was 6. My dad got joint cutody and it was monday and wednesday moms house, and tuesday and thursday his house with alternating weekends. I hated it because i had two different rooms filled with two different stuff and carring stuff between houses was a nightmare. My mom makes about $40,000 a year and my dad makes about 3 times that much. So my dad had better lawyers and basicly dragged my mom though hell with this divorce getting all the stuff he wanted out of the divorce and nothing my mom could do.

My dad met a women named cheir who he latered married (and who lattered divorced him, but that another story) My dad always thought you could buy love so he tried to bribe us to come do stuff with him and all that. Of course anytime we did he was a complete a** and a completel cheapskate. He would take us out to dinner and make us all get water and he made me order from the kids menu til I was 14. Plus he never got me a birthday present and the only reason he gave me christmas presents was cause other people were around and he wanted to show off.

I have been living perminitly with my mom for the past 2 years and I couldn't be happier, she remarried and I have the sweetest little half brother Trey. I mean we don't have as much money compared to my dad, we probley have like half what he has. But we all have laptops in my family, i got a new plasma tv, new deck and chair. Though im making it seem about the stuff which it not, we have family dinner and we talk and we care. My dad would never be around or try and have family dinner and turn it into a lecture on what im doing wrong or just grill us on school.

When it came down to it I picked a lower middle class mom who i love, over a upper middle class dad I hated. Though he had money, he couldn't buy my love nor could he ever make me feel comfortable around him, anything he would get us he held over our head to manipualte us. So i also got some freedom with my mom.

As for the situation all I can say is keep your head down from the fire and comfort the one who taking the most heat. Which on times my dad would yell at my mom so much she would cry. I guess one of the reason i hate him now is because he hurt her so much.

Anyway thats my story and somewhat of an opinion. Feel free to pm me to talk about this skater, i got 13 years experience on this subject  

[Tensho Deshi]

Whoever said that don't get involved, u wont get hurt, my health teacher told us to read a certain chapter and it said if a family is fighting or divorcing, tell your parents how you feel and your sisters, that will probably get them thinking, "We need to stop fighting like little kids and worry about our children." And you never know, i bet it will work smile just give it a try, and keep comforting your sisters, but try to talk to the parents individually and then tell them.  

[Unrelinquished Despair]

Well, first off I'd like to say my life is a mess, and is spiraling downward for me at quite a fast pace. Although it may not be as bad as some people it's terrible. I've got several things wrong with me that I don't even know how to fix. Why don't I just list everything?

~Parents are getting divorced.
~Grades are 'F'ail.
~Terrible underachiever.
~Massive procrastination.
~Suicidal thoughts.
~Being threatened with repeat Freshman.
~Dysfunctional family.
~Too anxious to speak about my problems.

Basically... I think I need a professional psychologist. I want to know what y'all think.  

[Noa Hayato]

I say you should really talk to someone, that suicidal thoughts can become really dangerous and I don't want to have to miss you here because you actually put one of them into action.  

[Cute Things In Jars]

Hey, I'm having issues with my sister...heres my story

A few days ago, i was walking to my room. Now my sister's room is next o mine, so i got the idea, "Hey, lets do some sister bonding!" so i open her door, and there she is, with her boyfriend, making babies. I was horified, and to add to the shock, instead of stopping and saying somehting nice, They continue, and my sister looks at me and says, "Oh, hey Beth...Wanna join in?" I then ran to my room and cried. It's been like 3 days, I dont know if i should go talk to her, or if i should wait....please help me out.  

[Tensho Deshi]

Hmmmm, never had this kind of problem before. Hmmm being a snitch isn't good sometimes but if she is doing that at a young age and it's pre-marriage then you should tell your parents. Pre-marriage sex can be very hard and after that talk with your sister ,tell her why you had to since AIDS aren't a pretty thing and same with STD's even if he or she was wearing a condom they are still at risk of STD's since the condom can rip in the process, hope this will help out =(  

[Cute Things In Jars]

she's 18, and their engaged...but its not the sex that bothered me, i would have been fine, would have just wiped it form my memory...my issue is, she offered me to join in....it's just worng, and now i cant stand to look at her....we used to be the best of friends too