My poetry journal

[redwolfshadow]

Ok, im just gonna post all of my old poetry on this thread so i dont have to make 20 seperate single post threads with no replies.

Maybe
________________________________________________________
This isn't a pep talk and it isn't meant to be.
It's true.
You may have things to live for,
You may not, at the moment.
But if you hang on for just a day,
Maybe someone special will come along.
Maybe I won't understand.
Maybe no one does.
Maybe you're just really messed up.
Maybe you're not.
Maybe no one would miss you.
Maybe hundreds would cry.
I can't predict your future if you stay alive.
I can tell you this, though.
If you die you can't live.
You'll never answer all of your "maybe's".
So don't you want to keep on betting,
Stay in for one more card?
Just to see what kind of a hand fate will deal you?
Will you stay in to see what cards your fellow players have?
And if you lose in the end, will you fold or play another hand just to see if you can win this time?
Will you keep on playing because sometimes it's just nice to be part ofthe game?
Or will you give it up, and never know?  

[redwolfshadow]

Merry meet, merry part
______________________
..And merry meet again.
From the Earth and back.
Fire within becomes ash,
Ready to burn once more.
Water spills from its container,
back to where it came.
Air leaves tired lungs
and gives life to another.
But spirit doesn't return to nature.
This ultimate element travels to where it belongs.
Faceless and nameless,
Spirits are free to roam.
May god and goddess guide you to your summerland.
whichever path you travel may you find peace.
Blessed be, my friends and strangers.  

[redwolfshadow]

Gazing at the trees,
Longing to explore the forest,
Not with guages and meausres,
But with an open heart and mind.
Longing to play in a stream,
Fully aware of Water's lethal power.
Yearning to lie in Air's grip,
Knowing this element's necessity.
Wishing to dance through the flora,
In awe of Earth's quiet majesty.
Pleading to warm my skin over an open flame,
Yet respecting Fire's deadly strength.
To be alone but kept company,
By another version of my spirit.
Crying out for other crazy people,
Please take me under your wing.
I never knew what I was called.
I just knew what I believed.
Screaming for people with desires like mine.
Wild and painful impulses to run with the wolves.
To run barefoot through the trees with no thoughts in my mind.
A lost soul begging for peace.  

[redwolfshadow]

Darling may I touch your cheek?
Will you pull away?
Don't you trust me,
to be kind?
Darling may I hold you close?
Will you turn away?
Dont you trust me,
to shield you from spiteful eyes?
Darling may I kiss you?
Will you look away?
Dont you trust me,
to just stop there?
Darling may I say I love you?
Will you be afraid?
Dont you trust me,
not to break your heart?
Darling will you stay the night?
Will you feel unsafe?
Dont you trust me,
to sleep on the floor?
Darling may we talk?
Will you tell me why youre nervous?
Dont your trust me,
not to be upset?  

[redwolfshadow]

She'll stagger through the door, again
Blood in her hair, again
Tears in her eyes, again
With a half hearted laugh she'll say,
You should have seen the other guy.
She crawls into bed,
Coughs blood on the sheets,
Wimpering in the dark.
I creep in behind her,
and smooth out her hair.
What is it this time? I ask
Bar fight, she says
You used that excuse last week, I demand
Who are you protecting? I pick up the phone
Please, she cries,
Just drop it.
You're just hurting me by reporting this
Torn, I drop the phone, again
One more bruise and I'm calling the cops, I say, again
I promise myself, I'll make the call next time  

[redwolfshadow]

You said youd be back
You said you'd never leave me,
You'd never be gone for long.
I think this as i sit alone,
Shivering wildly in the rain.
I don't want the warmth of the a fire without you,
I don't want the numbness to leave me until I'm in your arms.
The shivers subside,
Replaced with fatigue.
My body is giving out,
Long after my mind has collapsed.
My heart still beats,
With no rythm or joy.
I cry at your grave, whispering,
You said you'd be back.  

[redwolfshadow]

Black roses red blood
The floor is dark marble,
The walls are rich purple.
The bed is clothed in red velvet,
Covered in black roses.
Red blood pools on the abyss of cruel stone.
Your knife glints in the candlelight,
Held loosely by a cold limp hand
With a star carved in each palm.
You didn't wish to take your life in the usual way.
You left no note,
As your final message was written with a knife on your skin.
A bleeding inverted pentegram on each hand.
You are with the darkness even more in death than in life.
Black roses signify vampirism,
Inverted pentegrams pledge your soul to the devil.
You said I was all you needed,
But you wanted more.
You loved pain more than me.
You longed to burn.
And seeing your paleing body, I began to burn too.
I wasn't enough for you, but you were everthing to me.
Devestated, I fall to my knees.
I crawl to your bed and clear the black roses away.
I take your knife and lie next to you,
Writing my final word on the tender white underside of my arms.
I feel the steel bite my skin and grasp your icy hand,
Your fingers won't close over mine.
Even in death you don't want me.
I release your hand, content to die next to your beautiful body, even if I can't die as your lover.
I sigh you name with my last breath and my stare is fixed eternally on drops of red blood on black roses.
The word written on my arms?
Your name.
My death was my final act of devotion to you,
The gleaming dark goddess of my dreams.  

[redwolfshadow]

I breathe for you,
I bleed for you,
I'll hang on one more day for you.
I'll stay with you,
I'll wait for you,
I'd take all your pain from you.
I let you take all I can offer.
My blood on your lips,
My life in your teeth.
White fangs on pale skin.
I'll hang on one more day for you.
I'll try for you.
I'll fight for you.
To feed you again.
I'm fading again.
Sights blur.
Sounds mix.
I bled for you for the last time  

[redwolfshadow]

Welcome to America!
Welcome one and all!
The place where queers are beaten,
And democracy is on the fall.
Crime is on the rise,
According to the news.
Some cops get fat on donuts,
And politicians snooze.
Yet no place is perfect,
Unless we make it so.
Work with me or against me,
This country will change from what we know.  

[redwolfshadow]

Kill the world with hate and missles,
Nuke this planet to its knees.
Neither brings us closer to peace.
Where will hate get you but to your grave?
Parents protest suicide, while they rally and pray,
As their children sign up to get killed,
Sign up to defend,
Sign up to destroy.
Anger is a fire that will consume its owner.
Hate will turns on its posessor like a dumb smart bomb.
Is it worth it to die knowing you have killed?
Are you satisfied to know the world died with you?
Press the big red button,
Kill the world in minute.
Die.
Burn.
Forever.  

[Jeannette Willow]

Very powerful. Thanks for sharing, ma cherie.  

[redwolfshadow]

Thank you, draga mea. Ha! youre not the only one with forigen language skills biggrin It means my dear in romanian  

[redwolfshadow]

Emotionless
____________________________________________________
When the sadness is crushing
When the depression is a physical weight
When love is making you ******** crazy
Dont feel

Become cold, and calculate your emotions
Dont love anyone enough to let them hurt you
Dont hate anyone enough for them to make you angry
Dont laugh because its just a waste of time

But whats done is done,
the damage already inflicted is here to stay.
So quit feeling the pain, the darkness eating at your soul,
Ignore the black tinge in your aura.

Let your tears freeze on your skin
Let the ice shelter you
Let the ice destroy you
Dont feel any of it,
Become emotionless  

[redwolfshadow]

I know I'm crazy sometimes.
Every now and then I just break down.
My clam shatters, sometimes.
Once in awhile I fall apart.

You know, babe, its only when i think of you.
My brain is at war with itself, left versus right.
The logic in me says to forget you.
The love in me holds the memories close.

I want to fight, but all of the conflict is internal.
There is nothing to meet my fists.
I want to run, far and fast.
But your image is always there when I close my eyes.

I gave you the ultimate gift.
My trust, a blade waiting slice through me.
You didnt even mean to cut me, it was just so, so sharp...
Thats what I tell myself, again and again.

I'm shaking again.
Why? I wonder
Adreanaline- left brain
Depression- right brain

Shut the hell up!
I yell to the empty room.
Each breath is harder than the last.
I'm on my knees.

I dont remember falling asleep,
or passing out,
but I wake up on my bathroom floor.
I shrug it off, brush my teeth, and get ready to start another day...

Without you...
I can't breathe again.
I'm falling apart, again.
I woke up on the bathroom floor...  

[redwolfshadow]

I'm on the knife's edge,
between sanity and going crazy.
I'm sorry, love, but i had to let her pull me back.

The blade was cutting my feet,
I couldn't hear the drops of blood hitting the bottom,
of that massive blackness.

I'm so scared of falling off,
I'm so sorry for letting myself be rescued,
I couldnt walk the blade forever.

Her love took me away form the edge,
your anger could push me over it,
Your touch could guarantee my safety forever.

I can feel myself sliding away,
i dangle on the edge,
Blood runs from where my fingertips cling to sanity.

Will you save me?
Will you hear me?
will you even care?