Snaps in the Spoken Word Contest

[Miss_Comet]

Here are a couple of poems. I figure I'd start out my career in this Guild with some poetry! Tell me what you think!

Eternity

I'm powerless to my wanting
I've given in to desires of the flesh
Now I yearn for forgiveness.
God send me an angel
Bless me with a piece of heaven.
Like your stars in the sky
I'm memzmerized.
Like gossamer, you softly touch
It's not a secret any longer.
Save me, give me remedy
Lest I be lost in a sleep walking consciousness
And compromise my soul to Eternity.

I Don't Understand

I Don't Understand...
Why the world spins
Where heaven is
Why happiness seems to be a limited resource.
But most of all
What makes God cry
How blind people see beauty
Why you have to die to be monumentally influential.
What I understand most is
Music is always with me
It's always darkest before dawn
I have to cherish every exhale, and blink, and silent moment, before it slips through my fingers
like incence smoke, and is gone forever.

I Believe

I believe in love that takes time
I believe in lust at first sight.
I believe in innocence
I believe in happiness, and freedom and justice.
I believe in modesty
I believe in strength
I believe in courage
I believe in knowing right from wrong, and that no good can exist without evil.
And most of all I believe that we all have a purpose, and a destiny, and a reason to struggle.  

[linkster3769]

I love eternity.
i was right there with you in the story  

[Miss_Comet]

Thank you! Most people don't like that one as much so it's nice to have someone else who appreciates it =] Thank you  

[Deceived Truth]

All three is amazing!
I really like I Believe(:
That's basically what I believe in(:

Eternity is really powerful.
 

[clm640]

Truth took the words right out of my mouth. I liked I Believe but I also think that I Don't Understand is amazing. I truly understand what it's saying.  

[Miss_Comet]

Wow! Thanks you two! I really didn't think I was that strong of a poet but I oughtta rethink that! Thank you very much I'm glad that you could find a way to connect with them, I generally don't share my poetry =]. Please continue to come back to 'Snaps' because I might be posting more poetry!

And thanks again! You brought a smile to my face!  

[daddylatrell]

@Eternity: I love the gossamer similie, great choice!
@I Don't Understand: I have had those questions! Also, the ending is very descriptive which is always a plus! :]
@I Believe: I love the ending how you say "I believe we have a reason to struggle." Very frank and to the point. It's something most people won't admit.

Overall, all three poems are very good. You should consider posting some more poems, I'm sure they'll be just as good.

 

[Miss_Comet]

Thank you! All this positive feedback has inspired me to write another! So with no further ado! My newest Poem!:

Apocalypse

In the Great Debate of Apocalypse
There are many sides
But I know just how the world would end
If you were no longer mine.

Seas would rise and claim the land
Skies turn a rusty red.
Lands would shake like a trembling hand
And heaven would leave forever.

Beauty would abandon us
Fleeing along with Hope.
Love, Trust, Sanity,
They'd all be next to go.

Stars would fall from the cosmos as
Glittering, unforgiving tears.
Normalcy would reject us
And chaos reigns for years.

Just before the ending light
The heat would grow intense
Then ice would freeze us to the bone
And that would be the end.

But I serve a God that loves me
Whose grace knows no limits
He though of me when He made this world,
Because he thought to put you in it.  

[Miss_Comet]

The Rainbow Comes

The hour of day break
Arrives with glorious splendor
Liquid gold spills across the horizon
And natures natural symphony sounds.
Usually.

Today, the day breaks grey
Hiding the sunshines' wealth
Muting the grasses vibrant hues
Raindrops pound out a steady rhythm.
But, the Rainbow comes.

Tulips close their petals
The chorus of birds remain silent
Thunder booms,
Lightning flashes,
Still, the Rainbow comes.

Wind tears through trees
Branches snap and fall.
Mother Nature howls through the sky.
Just a moment life stops, and waits,
For, the Rainbow comes.

The pattering of liquid percussion stutters to a stop
The crown of the sun peeks out
Musical humming of life begins to tune
Leaves glitter with crystal dew
The Rainbow comes.  

[daddylatrell]

Ohmygosh, I like LOVE that poem!
Seriously, have you ever thought of becoming a poet?
You should like, send that into something.
I'm in love with the line "Liquid gold spills across the horiozn"
It's like AH-MAY-ZING!

 

[Miss_Comet]

Thank you =] I haven't actually seriously considered it but....I may now =] And I never really thought about sending my poetry into anything just because... poetry, to me, is something so intimate and private...So here I am posting it on the world wide web!

But honestly I never thought I was any good at poetry because I always compared myself to Maya Angelou, Langston Hughes, Robert Frost etc...

I'm glad you liked that line =] its' probably my favorite analogy!  

[daddylatrell]

So much like Robert Frost girl!

 

[Miss_Comet]

Thank you that really means a lot!  

[daddylatrell]

No problem!
Please add more poetry, you're a natural!

 

[Miss_Comet]

Thank you! New Poetry is coming soon!