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C a r a m e l K i t t e h

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Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 1:53 am

So I just found out the guy I'm seeing is atheist. I don't have a problem with atheist but if I get really seriously involved with someone I would prefer that they have a religion. I'm Catholic and Christianity is a big deal to me. I want to raise my kids Catholic. He's flexible and has no problem with other religions but it still bugs me. He's the sweetest guy I ever dated and to me, he leads what some may call a "Christian life style". I don't want to push him to convert. I just want to let him know how I feel and I have no idea how to do that. I like him soooooo much. This sucks so badly.

Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 2:12 am

Well, if you say he's flexible and leads a "Christian," i.e. morally good, lifestyle, simply talk to him about it, he'll probably understand.
Don't push him to convert, that could drive him off, just express how you feel about it.
If he's as good and sweet a person as you say he is, he'll be perfectly fine with raising children to be Catholic.
I, for one, am pagan, but if my boyfriend decided to be Catholic and raise Catholic kids, I'd certainly help him, regardless of my beliefs.

Queen Spazzy

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Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 2:17 am

Hmmmm... If he likes you as much as you like him, then he shouldn't really get offended if you just want to talk about it. I mean, if you're at the point where you want to talk about kids, maybe suggest that you want to raise them under the religion you were raised under, to give them a good foundation and proper morals... without pressing it onto him. Maybe ask if he can sit through church with you or something, but say he doesn't have to believe it... I wouldn't mind dating someone who was religious, myself, as long as they respected my own lack of religion and didn't try to push things on me. I'm looking at this from the agnostic/atheist's point of view. And I think all relationships come to a compromise.
Going to church with the family to help bring the children up with good ideals sounds like a decent compromise to me. I went through the motions of religion without actually believing any of it for years ._. It's just one day. And it teaches some good things. Be nice to people, don't kill, etc.
I mean... You'd probably have similar issues if he was Buddhist or something. The fact that he HAS no religion makes it easier. Because then you don't have to figure out which religion you want to raise your kids in ._.

Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 12:34 pm

He was raised Catholic and he doesn't believe in it anymore which is fine. I don't want to push anything on him because whether its people that are Christian or from another religion, if they push their beliefs on me, I don't want to hear it. I kinda wanna be neutral and talk about it more. The last thing I want to do is sound preachy. I also don't want him to say "oh I'll try out the church thing for you." If he wants to become a Christian, it shouldn't be because of me but because he wants to. I really like him a lot and I'm trying to figure how to do this in a respectful sort of way. I don't want to offend anyone

C a r a m e l K i t t e h

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cleolvtempus

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Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 2:04 am

honestly my dear. You are looking way to deep into this. i honestly think that ifyou have a religion and he does not then there is no problem what so ever. you can bring up your beliefs and he shouldn't care one way or the other. so don't stress about it. If he really is this sweet of a guy then he wont care what religion you practice and he will happily allow you to practice it so long as you don't force him to practice it too. heck he might even join you on some religious activities if you ask him to. he might do it just so he can do something with you but still not believe in it. i know a lot of atheists who go to church with family just to be with family. so don't worry about it. he is going to be fine with your faith.

now as for raising your children as Christians i don't know how open he would be for that. especially if he was raised Catholic or something. he might have a good reason for no longer believing in it and he probably would want his children to choose for themselves as they grow up. like decide if they want to stay home with dad or go to Church with you. that is a topic you will have to talk to him about. he might of course be fine with them being raised under your religion so long as he can also show them that they have a chance to choose later on. this is at least what i would do. i would never raise my children under my religion or under my husbands. i would want them to choose for themselves. so i think he might be the same. so just bring it up in conversation and ask him what he would raise his children as when he got married. either answer though should not end your relationship. he sounds like a good and understanding guy. so just relax and ask ^_^
Cleo

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 9:41 pm

I can't help wanting... User Image

If he leads a Christian lifestyle, if he loves you, if you give him a good example of how good Christians are (popping in a verse or two don't hurt! ^^) and if he really wants to marry you someday, he doesn't really have a choice.
So don't stress ^^ Just love him and pray ^^

...To die for you.

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