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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 11:32 pm
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Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:11 am
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Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 7:40 pm
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Kasi Karra Are you just updating this on a semi daily basis when ever inspiration hits you? Isn't pass supposed to be spelt passed in the first sentence? Quote: It was what that gave me reason to move on and make this world right. Unless I'm delirious on no sleep (completely possible whee ) I don't think that the what and the that work together in that sentence. love the name Erezians blaugh Question - Is Unsail the city that he is currently fighting in or was it a more important city like the capital thousands of miles away? I update it when I remember. x3 The other guilds keep on making it farther. @_@
Darn, wrong grammar struck again. x3
Unsail is the city he is in, it is the city he fights for. :3
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:51 am
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:51 pm
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Kasi Karra lol, so is this all based off some rp that's being attempted in another guild else where? lol, gotta love the grammar issues :3 Quote: He was running, running as he knew as well what the Erezian hands could do to him there were a few too many words after the second running on the next sentence I would put a comma after as well, or something cause the first time I read it I read other cowards and their defense were running as suddenly their defense fell instead of ran *dizzy* After that I would leave the word almost out. Giving the city a defeaning silence except for the sound of burning wood or some other quiet ominous sound will give a little more weight to the situation. You say that he continued to run, but did he ever stop running before that? He had the privilege of noticing someone in the alley? Or he just happened to notice someone? Nah, it's based on a thought that keeps on going around my head. x3
I'll try getting through that. :3
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Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2010 5:30 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 7:59 pm
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