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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 4:59 pm
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This is something that just popped into my head while I was trying to sleep.
There is a time in every human life, that all except for the very fortunate, feel as if they are not wanted. Not wanted, not loved. If you have not ever felt this way, then count yourself very lucky indeed. Fot it is not a feeling to be treasured. One may feel as if those who had said they would be there always, had grown tired of your presence. As if no one in the world gives a damn about what you want, what you think, what you like, or you yourself. Your heart feels cold and hollow, you feel no need to live as the first waves of depression roll in to fill the emptiness inside of you. You may have thoughts along the lines of 'Why dont I just end it all here?' or 'It would be so easy. Just one quick slit with the knife and no more pain, no more suufering, so easy.'
It can go one for days, in some cases months. Most will hang on to life long enough for someone, or something I might add, to come along and rekindle the fire in your heart that we humans have so rightfully named, Hope. The fire will become so bright and warm that all the remanants of the depression just wash away, everything is right again. But the memory of it will always linger.
For those who dont have their fire rekindled, death welcomes them with open arms.
Not sure if this is the right place to post this, Im new.
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 5:08 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 5:11 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 5:15 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 8:21 am
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 9:28 am
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zoje972 This is something that just popped into my head while I was trying to sleep. There is a time in every human life, thatwhen all except for the very fortunate, feel as if they are not wanted. Not wanted, not loved. If you have not ever felt this way, then count yourself very lucky indeed. Fo rt it is not a feeling to be treasured. One may feel as if those who had said they would be there always, had grown tired of your presence. As if no one in the world gives a damn about what you want, what you think, what you like, or you yourself. Your heart feels cold and hollow, you feel no need to live as the first waves of depression roll in to fill the emptiness inside of you. You may have thoughts along the lines of 'Why dont I just end it all here?' or 'It would be so easy. Just one quick slit with the knife and no more pain, no more suufering, so easy.' (You could probably format this last bit more effectively, e.g.: You may be plagued by dark thoughts. 'Why dont I just end it all here?' 'It would be so easy. Just one quick slit with the knife and no more pain, no more suufering, so easy.') It can go one for days, in some cases months. Most will hang on to life long enough for someone, or something , I might add, to come along and rekindle the fire in your heart that we humans have so rightfully named, Hope. (Why rightfully? Hope isn't called the same thing in all languages.) The fire will become so bright and warm that all the remanants of the depression just wash away, everything is right again. But the memory of it will always linger. For those who dont have their fire rekindled, death welcomes them with open arms. Not sure if this is the right place to post this, Im new.
This is interesting, but it feels more like a fragment of something longer - maybe the start of a story, or part of a monologue - than something that can stand alone. You've got some good images, and I do like the last line. Stylistically, most things I've picked up on are either pretty small or a matter of personal preference. The only bigger thing is the narration - you switch around the voice from a quite formal 'one' to more informal language (like 'don't give a damn'), and at times the 'you' being spoken to feels a bit more like 2nd person narration than a smoother 3rd person. It shouldn't take too much to tidy this up, if you want to carry it on into something longer. Oh, and yes I think you've posted it in the right place!
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