Left 4 Lawlz (Going/Acceping Profiles NAO)

[Randomly Gone Insane]

DISCLAIMER
I own nothing of the Left 4 Dead series, or anything slightly relating to Left 4 Dead. If I did own it, I would be wisely spending my money made from the games on preparing myself for a zombie apocalypse.

I also own nothing of the movie Zombieland.

I said it, so stop nagging me.


FRIENDLY WARNING
This is going to be what I like to call a Crack Role Play, meaning it will be filled with nonsense and whimsy, and logic will be based more off of cartoons than reality. This role play is more about having some laughs and good times alongside a slower moving plot. If you're looking something more serious, then I suggest looking else where (perhaps my upcoming Behind the Eyes of Elemis role play?).

 

[Randomly Gone Insane]

It all started with a hamburger. . .

Comical, yes. But hundred percent serious. One extremely bad and diseased hamburger from a disgusting and dirty restaurant owned by one stubborn old man who refused to believe in health regulations. But the hungry truck driver did not care, because he had another thousand miles to go with nothing to eat, and damn it, at the time that burger was looking too delicious to pass up, and his stomach was too empty to ignore for another mile.
Little did the truck driver know that his delicious two-fifty burger was not only poorly cooked, but the meat had been grounded by one unlucky cow which had mad cow's disease and had somehow slipped under surveillance and into a local slaughterhouse. After the virus endured several different kinds of environments, it mutated and transformed. Upon consumption from the hungry truck driver, it began a plague which had jokingly predicted for years.
Mad Cow's Disease was suddenly the mother and the beginning to a long awaited Zombie Apocalypse.

 

[Randomly Gone Insane]

The Rules of a Zombie Apocalpse

1. Cardio
2. The Double Tap
3. Beware of Bathrooms
4. Wear Seat Belts
5. No Attachments
6. The “Skillet”
7. Travel Light
8. Get a Kick a** Partner
9. With your Bare Hands
10. Don’t Swing Low
11. Use Your Foot
12. Bounty Paper Towels
13. Shake it Off
14. Always carry a change of underwear
15. Bowling Ball
16. Opportunity Knocks
17. Don’t be a hero
18. Limber Up
19. Break it Up
20. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
21. Avoid Strip Clubs
22. When in doubt Know your way out
23. Zipplock
24. Use your thumbs
25. Shoot First
26. A little sun screen never hurt anybody
27. Incoming!
28. Double-Knot your Shoes
29. The Buddy System
30. Pack your stain stick
31. Check the back seat
32. Enjoy the little things
33. Swiss army Knife  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Types of known Zombies

THREAT LEVEL SCALE
VERY deadly
Dangerous
Concerning
Mild
None

Common Infected - The most likely to be found (hence their name), and easiest to deal with. They lack strength when alone, but when in large numbers, they can be formidable.
Threat Level: Alone - Kittens do more damage; Multiple - It's like an angry mob coming after you. An angry, hungry mob.

Boomer - What happens to fat guys who get bitten? Well, they get fatter. And bulimic. Yeah... It's nasty. Worst of all, when they vomit, they vomit on you. And to make matters worse, their vomit attracts Common Infected like it's secretly laced in zombie crack. They're fairly easy to kill, but when they die they explode. Not only does it hurt, but if you're standing too close, some vomit will fall on you, and zombies will come. So it's best to put some distance in between yourselves, THEN shoot.
Threat Level: Alone - Fat, exploding, vomiting men are always a problem, dead OR alive.; Multiple - It's like a horrible, alcoholic party gone wrong because everyone's drinking too much and suddenly have to vomit at the same time!

Charger - These guys are weird. Not only is one of their arms smaller than a normal arm, but the other arm is on steroids times ten. And they know it too. As their name implies, their method of attacking is to charge at you and grab onto you with the steroid arm. Once they hit something, or run out of energy, they stop and bash you into the ground with their arm until they - or preferably you - die. This can cause some serious back pain. Seriously. You'll be groaning in your sleep for weeks because you can't lay down comfortably... Damn jerks...
Threat Level: Alone - Not too shabby. Painful, but as long as you don't break Rule 29, you'll be fine.; Multiple - If your friend is caught, then we have a serious problem. Hopefully, there's more of you then there is them. Hopefully.

Hunter - These guys are like a cat. A human zombie cat that is. You see, they're method of attacking is to crouch down and growl REAL loudly, before suddenly pouncing on you. Hard. Like, so hard it can knock away buddies from you because the impact is just that big. And then, oh God, then, they gut you. Alive. Seriously. They reach their nasty claws into your abdomen, and cut through your flesh and just throw handfuls of blood and bits of flesh around the area like it's confetti. It's gross.
Threat Level: Alone - They're easy to kill, but they do a lot of damage fast.; Multiple - You're screwed. Unless someone made it unpounced, you're just screwed man.

Jockey - Now here's a freak for ya. The look of it alone is enough to make ya shudder, but what they do has caused nightmares. They like to jump on your shoulders and cover your face with their hands and feet. And no, they don't wash. At all. So it's bad enough you have zombie body parts holding painfully onto your face, but because you're blindly running around, these little bastards purposely guide you into danger towards other zombies. It's so mean!
Threat Level: Alone - They're easy to kill. Pretty annoying too.; Multiple - Having multiple freaks jumping on everyone's backs is not only creepy, but kind of scary.

Smoker - If we live through this, Japanese writers are going to have this guy all over their pornographic novels. Why? Because he has this freakishly long tongue. So long it fact, he can launch it out of his mouth to incredible distances. But that's not all! He then wraps his tongue tightly around you, and drags you back towards himself. If he gets you to him, he beats on you while you're tied up in his spit covered tongue. If he's above you, unable to pull you up, you just hang. And slowly choke to death because he tightens his tongue around you, choking you like a python. It's gross.
Threat Level: Alone - Sometimes, finding them is impossible when their hanging a buddy. Luckily, you can cut their tongue and save the day!; Multiple - Your friends are hanging around everywhere. No, literally. They're hanging EVERYWHERE. It sucks man.

Spitter - Now here's a nasty one. Not only is just rude and gross when someone spits in your direction because they're trying to disrespect you, but when this zombie does it, acid spills EVERYWHERE. You know why? Because their spit is acidic! And it burns. A lot. Very painful. It's like liquid fire. Literally. Nasty. Owwy.
Threat Level: Alone - They spit giant pools of spit just to ruin your picnic. It's totally rude, and it hurts!; Multiple - Pools of acid surround you! From everywhere! You're screwed.

Tank - It throws cars, and giant blocks of cement, and... anything really. It's the biggest, strongest zombie out there. And not only can it crush a car like a pop-can, but it's fast too. This thing is scary. So when you see one, shoot, and don't stop until it stops.
Threat Level: Alone - If you see it, run and shoot. And don't stop either of those until it's dead. For any reason. Do not stop.; Multiple - You might as well just kill yourself so you don't have to die a painful death of being ripped into tiny pieces because they decided to play tug-of-war with your body.

Witch - Think of a woman you know during her monthly cycle. Pretty mean and nasty, huh? Well, now think of her as a zombie, and she's cranky times ten thousand. Yeah, SUPER scary now. That's what this zombie is like. It absolutely hates everything. If you stand to close, she attacks. If you shine a light on her, she attacks. Of course, she's nice enough to give threatening and scary growls when you do these things while she slowly spreads out her arms and gives you a glare that could make grown men cry like babies. But after she's done growling, she screams and attacks with her nasty finger...claw things. One slice is enough to knock someone down, and by then you're screwed. She just cuts you. A lot. Until you look emo because your entire body is just covered in deep cuts. And she's a hard one to kill too. Better have a big team around to take care of her. Or you could not piss her off.
Threat Level: Alone - Don't even look at her. Just don't.; Multiple - You're dead. Not gonna lie. You are so dead.  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Our Story

We are the survivors of this out of world wide massacre. This unheard of disease which was only poked at in the media and bored teenagers and young adults. But somehow, it became as real as we are, and we've survived by following the rules. By fighting with everything we have, because God damn it, we're the good guys. Right?

Whatever the hell we may be though, we are this for sure - smart. You don't survive a zombie apocalypse without being smart. If you are an idiot, you die off. Quickly. But if you are smart, you live long enough to see the end. Or, long enough to realize there is no end. Whatever it is, you live through it because you are smart.

So here we are. Left to wander in the abandoned Fontaine Mall, somewhere in Seattle, Washington, alone yet together. Maybe we'll survive. And maybe we'll find some more survivors and eventually form this super huge group. And maybe we'll cure this disease and rebuild.

And maybe we'll all die horrible deaths and become zombie chow.

We'll see, I guess.

 

[Randomly Gone Insane]

The Rules of the Role Play

I hold the power to remove or add rules when necessary.
I hold the power to enforce the rules and-or ban players when rules are disobeyed/ignored.

(1. The GaiaOnline Terms of Service are always in effect, and will be enforced here. Keep them in mind in this role play, and in everything you do.


(2. As part of GaiaOnline's ToS, sexual things are to be toned down to a non-pornographic level. Perverse behavior is fine, perverse activities need to be careful, and the beast with two backs needs to be made outside of role play posts.


(3. Please following the role play's writing standards.
XXXXX-Third person in past tense. (Jim walked across the beach.)

XXXXX-Posts need to contain at least one paragraph (five sentences together in a bunch, not spaced out).
XXXXXXXXXX-If you wish to write beyond a paragraph, feel free to do so. Also, do not be intimidated by larger posts. Some players are long winded, while others are not. As long as you meet the minimum, you may post as long or as short as you want.

XXXXX-Use proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. We should be old enough to understand and know the differences between there/their/they're and to/too/two.


(4. Posting formats are neither encouraged or discouraged. Coloring texts, adding pictures, and-or adding decorative characters are optional.
XXXXX-It is asked though that formats with pictures and decorative characters are not made wide enough to stretch out and distort the pages. Formats found doing so will be asked to change and will be guided to a proper width. Failure to thin the format will result in elimination of the format. Return of the format after elimination and still stretching the page will result in removal of the player.
XXXXX-If you choose to color your text, please use colors that are easy to read. Bright colors, such as cyan or yellow, should not be used even the text is made bold. If your text is too bright, it will be asked that you change colors. Failure to change colors will result in banning.


(5. There are power limits to these things. No one person can become a God like figure.
XXXXX-Godmodding/Powerplaying is rather self explanatory. You are not an all powerful being, so don't even attempt being/making one.
XXXXXXXXXX-Creating a Mary/Gary Stu like character is very similar to Godmodding/Powerplaying, and will be counted as such. Characters that come off as a Mary/Gary Stu will not be allowed into the role play until they have been revised down to a believable level. For more information on what a Mary/Gary Stu is, click here.

XXXXX-Autohitting and autododging are forms of Godmodding. These are also not allowed.
XXXXXXXXXX-Autohitting is when you write out that you attack was successful and had it's intended affects upon another character, thus putting you one step ahead. Autohitting yourself is fine, but do not autohit someone else.
XXXXXXXXXX-Autododging is the magic of every blow being thrown your way somehow missing. No one can never be hit ever; everyone takes some blows.

XXXXX-Mind control, mind reading, and seeing into the future are tricky and frustrating things to do. However, these actions are not banned, just asked that they are done carefully. There needs to be a give and take system with these abilities. It is asked that you make contact with another player before you try to play with their mind. For matters over seeing into the future over major plot lines, contact either Zahzi or myself please.

XXXXX-Ghosting is the act of temporarily taking minor control of another character. It can be used to brush a character away when the player has gone, such as when they must leave their internet access for an extended amount of time, or when someone logs out while many other players still remain and the role play is in full swing.
XXXXXXXXXX-Do not ghost another character if the other player is still online, or to finish off an action they were doing. Use is only for getting them out of the way so things may still go.

XXXXX-Murdering/Killing another person's character is strictly forbidden. Any act of killing someone without asking the player's permission will result in an automatic and permanent ban from the role play.
XXXXXXXXXX-For acts of murder/killing, player one must make contact with player two and ask for permission to kill the character. If an agreement is made, both player one and two must message me about the upcoming death. I will not accept only one player messaging me about the agreed death.


(6. To the best of your ability, try not to fall behind in the role play. At the same time, do not bury other players with your posts.
XXXXX-I understand we sometimes need to go for a long time. However, I won't stop the whole role play because of one absence. So I kindly ask that if you must go you try to remove yourself from the scene. If you can't do this, you shall be ghosted out.

XXXXX-Private sessions are when a small group of players begin to post one after another, typically branching away from what was originally going on and making a new situation for them to deal with so they have something to post while others are away. These private sessions often bury the others with a massive amount of posts that usually have no affect upon them, and are frustrating to navigate through. It's asked that private sessions are limited down to the completion of the page. Once a new page is created, even if there was only one or two posts made, the private session needs to end.  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Character Skeleton

Send all profiles to me in a private message.

[b]Username:[/b]
[b]Character Name:[/b]
[b]Age:[/b]
[b]Gender:[/b]
[b]Appearance:[/b]
[b]Weapon(s):[/b]
[b]History:[/b]
[b]Extra(s):[/b] OPTIONAL
[b]Quote:[/b] OPTIONAL
[b]Theme Song(s):[/b] OPTIONAL

Try to be unique people! I love to see unorthodox characters, as long as they're reasonable.
Yes. This means I'm asking you to use that thing you call a brain. It's good to use it. Trust me. Very low carb. Your doctor will love you at your next check up. I guarantee it.  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

We are left for dead. And for laughs.
We are the survivors.

Username: Randomly Gone Insane
Character Name: Hanna Hayder
Age: 7
Gender: Female
Appearance: Hanna
Weapon(s): Desert Eagle Pistol
History: After a close encounter with her fresh zombie parents, Hanna and her old sibling, Ian, decided to head out to try and survive the apocalypse. Bored out of her mind because Ian was busy resting up in their safe haven, Hanna ventured out to entertain herself. Luckily, she found a puppy. Unluckily, the puppy was a zombie and bit Hanna, spreading the infection into her systems. She immediately ran back to Ian, sobbing and barely able to explain what had happened to her. Left with no choice, she passed the disease onto her brother before freezing themselves in order to avoid having to kill one another.
Extra(s): Hanna has gotten into the habit of wearing large, hooded sweaters and gloves to purposely hide her hands.
Despite all that has happened, Hanna is still oddly childish and perky, and generally very happy with everything in the world as it is. While it can be enlightening to still see such innocence and happiness in a person during these times, it quickly becomes annoying. Especially to her brother at some points...
Like her brother, Hanna gained some zombie abilities, her half being the Hunter. She gained the amazing ability to not only jump really far, but land hard and remained unhurt. She also grew claws where her fingernails should be. Her last 'gift' was that her eyes brightly glow orange, which she hides with her hooded sweater by wearing it over them.
Quote: "Come 'ere! I wanna give you a hug!"
Theme Song(s):

Username: Zahzi.
Character Name: Ian Hayder.
Age: 21.
Gender: Male.
Appearance: Ian; He lost the sunglasses years ago...
Weapon(s): Military-Grade M16 Burst-Fire Assault Rifle and Machete.
History: Ian and his sister, Hanna, knew that they didn't stand much of a chance in the zombie apocalypse alone, and in the middle of an over-populated city. Not wanting to fear having to kill the other when they 'turned', they 'froze' themselves using an over-glorified cooler which slowed their pulse down to zero as the infection spread into them. After awhile, the ice thawed out, and they awoke, the virus impeded...
Extra(s): While being in between alive and dead, Ian cares for only three things. His sister, Music, and Humanity...In that order...Usually...While still technically 'dead', he had gained the abilities of the 'Smoker'. Also known to keep a list...
Quote: "Smoke'em if you got'em...I know I do..."
Theme Song(s): Trivium

Username: Zahzi.
Character Name: Captain Gregory Jackson.
Age: 29.
Gender: Male.
Appearance: Jackson.
Weapon(s): A multitude of weapons ranging from an M9 pistol, an ACR assault rifle, various types of grenades, and a combat knife...To be frank, anything that can kill a zombie, he'd use.
History: Jackson was deployed to the area in an attempt to secure a position for survivors. While the task has been going as planned, it has not been without resistance from the 'dead-heads' as his unit calls the zombie horde.
So far, they have succeeded in creating a base in and around the Fontaine Mall, his unit, nicknamed after a term used for the US military in the past, DevilDog, has made a great success holding the line from the undead masses.
Extra(s): The reason the Unit was able to get to their destination with less opposition than expected was their transportation: A Stryker APC. On the front of this monstrosity, one of the soldiers welded in the phrase 'Always has the right of way *Expletive*'.
Quote: "In any kind of conflict, war does not determine who is right, but only who is left."
Theme Song(s): Hammerhead.

Username: Randomly Gone Insane
Character Name: Sergeant Tom McGrath, Corporal Jeff Bennett, Specialist John DiMaggio, and Private James Patrick Stuart
Age: Tom - 38; Jeff - 39; James - 24; John - 34
Gender: All Male
Appearance: From left to right Jeff Bennett, James Patrick Stuart, Tom McGrath, and John DiMaggio
Weapon(s): Tom uses a CAR-15
Jeff uses a Colt 9mm SMG and a M40 rifle
John carries a Stihl Chainsaw and two combat knives. Typically though, he'll make use of whatever is in his reach, often tampering with things until they're a respectable make-shift weapon or an explosive. When a fire arm is needed, John borrows Jeff's Colt.
James uses a Mk14 Enhanced Battle Rifle
History: During the early stages and beginnings of the outbreak, squads of the National Guard were sent out to investigate the problem, contain trouble makers, and take control of the situation. When reports came back that there was people eating other people - and then turning other people into cannibals - larger squads and different military branches were called in to aid in the fight.
Prior to extra military involvement, Tom, Jeff, John, and James were doing their best to not only survive against the undead horde, but continue on their task to make stable ground for survivors.

Tom, Jeff, and John were first deployed out in a squad of six men to clear out the undead from smaller roads and streets in Seattle, and direct and-or escort any found survivors to safety. The reports given at the time though were no where close to the actual horrors, and it resulted in the deaths of the three squad mates they had been sent out with. Though Tom was reluctant to retreat at first, the trio made their way back to base for a regroup and supplies, and were shocked to find that the base had been overran during their absence. The trio did their best to sneak into the base with minimal conflict, hoping to find any survivors and much needed supplies.
As they ventured through the now lifeless halls of base, evidence began to suggest the infection had started from the inside, most likely from a rescued civilian. When all hope in finding survivors seemed lost, the trio stumbled upon James who had hunkered down in storage, alone, afraid, and armed. After coaxing James to settle down and lower his weapon from their heads, the trio somewhat forced the private into their squad, grabbed as much as they could carry, and ventured back into Seattle to continue their original task at hand to help out survivors.
Extra(s): Tom, being the highest rank to their small group, has assumed command over the squad. He respects the chain of command of all military branches though, and he would willingly and gladly follow any orders given to him by a superior ranking soldier, if the orders aren't too outrageous, too insane, or cause moral conflict.

Jeff can be seen as the brains to the squad. While he's perfectly capable of fighting an enemy, he prefers to stay back, thinking out plans or sometimes aiding John with his wacky weapon inventions. Sometimes, he can get a bit eccentric in his work..

John acts as the borderline insane quiet one who loves demolitions a little too much. John usually communicates through grunts, moans, physical actions, and occasionally one worded replies. When John isn't busy making a crack-pot idea come to life, he's usually going on supply runs with anybody brave enough - and unfortunate enough - to be sent out with him as support and back up.

James is best described as the communications officer for the squad, as the others are quick to jump the gun to throw threats, insults, and sometimes bullets at others, leaving James in charge of dealing with other people. While his youth and lack of experience make it harder for the others to take him seriously, James will sometimes use that to his advantage, usually tricking Tom into following through with James' plans to "humor the boy".
Quote:
Theme Song(s):


Username: Zahzi.
Character Name: DevilDog Contingency Brigade Seventeen: Jack Marcus, Dexter Wagner, and Alan Trager. 'Jugg' 'D.C.' and 'Wheelman', respectively.
Age: 28, 26, and 25.
Gender: All Male.
Appearance: In Uniform.
Jugg.
D.C.
Wheelman.
Weapon(s): Jugg specializes with heavy, automatic weapons, LMGs, in particular. His current fascination is with an old Fan-Favorite; the M60.
D.C. Prefers anything with a boom at the end.......
Wheelman usually stays inside his 'baby', the Stryker, and when not able to operate the APC's artillery, uses a simple G18 Machine Pistol.
History: The group follows under the command of Captain Jackson, and will go far enough to die for their leader....At least most will.
Through thick and thin, they have done all they can to make a small shelter for survivors in the now-fortified mall. Any past they had before the cataclysm is irrelevant now.
Extra(s): Jugg was given the name because of his heavy nature and firepower. 'Juggernaut.'
D.C.'s nickname originated for a military term, Danger Close. It was given to him because more that a few times, his own comrades have been nearly blown up by his antics...
Wheelman's alias is obvious. What is not obvious, is that outside of the APC, and making tuneups and repairs on it, he is by far the laziest b*****d still alive.

Username: SpazzticPanda1311
Character Name: Erissa Stine
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Appearance: Erissa has very long snow white hair and dark violet eyes that shine lightly when common zombies are near by (not any other zombies, just common ones). Her skin is paler compared to other humans, she looks frail and is about an average height. She's petite and wears a crimson red plaid skirt (for moving purposes), a harness that wraps around her thigh (it's brown leather and it hides her knives) and a light weight white buttoned up shirt. She also wears a tie for personal and sentimental reasons as well as high socks so her legs can be somewhat protected. She also has a scar on her left shoulder blade from an unexpected event that occurred in the lab she worked in. She can get bruised easily and she appears to look younger than she really is.
Weapon(s): She uses a Black desert eagle so she can shoot close range. She also uses two knives hidden in her harness for when she runs out of ammo or for emergencies and medical equipment so she can help fellow humans in need of assistance.
History: Erissa was born into a small and poor family. She was raised in California and vowed to be successful and live a better life than what her parents had set for her. After her painful and agonizing 4 years of high school, she was the first person in her family to go to college as an IB student. She studied long hours and spent most of her time glued to her desk and she couldn't wait to go to college. Excelling in biology, doing average in chemistry and doing ok in math, she was one of the first doctors to be told about the infection and was pulled out of her last year of college to help find a vaccine. After being hired to help other well known scientists try and discover a cure for the extremely contaminated infection, she spent endless nights working on a formula. After months of trying to find a clue to cure the disease, she had made a prototype, however it was too late. An experiment, number 224, had escaped its cell and attacked her fellow scientists and friends. Panic struck and the scientists started to turn one after another. Erissa was the only one left and she had run out of bullets for her pistol and knives to fight with. She knew her end was coming and she noticed her latest prototype. It wasn't complete and she didn't even know if it would work but she had to try, knowing she'd die either way. After stabbing the prototype into her arm, in a split second she was attacked by mobs of the undead. However she was able to fend them off and realized that the prototype vaccine had mutated her DNA before they attacked her. Her hair, originally brown, turned the purest white and her ember eyes morphed into a bright violet color. She didn't know how the reaction had happened but she had become immune to the infection and she vowed she'd find a vaccine that didn't mutate the human body and simply made them immune to the infection.
Extra(s): She's not extremely strong and she can still die and feel pain, however she can never be infected due to her genetic change.
Quote: "don't bother, i'm on it"
Theme Song(s): 「Soldier」