I swear... {Rant}

[Aakosir]

I'm just about done. How can someone lay in bed next to the person they supposedly love while they cry themselves to sleep? Then don't even kiss their spouse goodbye in the morning... I'm getting so tired of this. And it's not like he will ever see my side of the story, since I've been repeating it for the past six months... Nope, it's still all me. I'm the one making all the issues. Funny. That's frickin' hilarious. I don't even have enough energy to keep typing right now. I'm just so tired of this crap and about to say "******** it"... I never wanted to be the person who gets a divorce, but after yesterrday I have more than a few reasons to add to my list...  

[00Shoe]

I can assume that you have had a talk with your partner about this?

It is best to make your point of view known before you make any decisions.

How long have you been together?  

[Aakosir]

Heh... I've tried to have many talks with him, but after 8 months he still fails to see my side of the story... And they usually end in me yelling at him because he never talks... He doesn't want to do couple's counseling either... We've been together for 4 years, married for 8 months. You never think things will change so drastically after getting married, but they did for me...  

[The Final Kira]

Of Course things changes. You can't just blindly think that nothing will change after marriage, just because yall were together for a long period of time. Living together can put great stress on people no matter how much they are in love or how well they get along. Long story short, put you and someone else in one room, you'll get three opinions. Thier point, your point twisted, and a compromise. Very few are willing to work on a compromise

The best thing you can do is make it work, but it comes to the one simple question.....Is it worth it?  

[DarkWolfLove]

@Kira

Things shouldn't change after marriage.
If you've lived together before marrying, why would things change?
Unless one or both of you have some sort of obsessive picture about what marriage is supposed to be.
If anything, it's just a title and a tax thing.
You're still just two people in love, living together, having children together, etc.
Marriage isn't supposed to change any of that.
If it does, it's not the fault of marriage, but of the people in it.

 

[DarkWolfLove]

@Aakosir

I'm sorry to hear that things are going down the drain for you and your Mate.
It seems like you've taken all the necessary steps to getting better, but he isn't cooperating.
I agree with Shoe, tell him your thoughts, all of it.
That if things don't change, you're thinking about ending it.
If he ignores it, or has in the past, keep your word.
Get out of it because it does not sound healthy: mentally or emotionally.

 

[Aakosir]

DarkWolfLove

@Aakosir

I'm sorry to hear that things are going down the drain for you and your Mate.
It seems like you've taken all the necessary steps to getting better, but he isn't cooperating.
I agree with Shoe, tell him your thoughts, all of it.
That if things don't change, you're thinking about ending it.
If he ignores it, or has in the past, keep your word.
Get out of it because it does not sound healthy: mentally or emotionally.

The really sad thing is I tell him what I think at least once a week. I have written it all down for him more than a few times, but he still does not understand! I just am running out of patience considering I've been trying to explain myself for about 6 months...

I have brought up the idea of a divorce and I get a shrug... I'm not joking. The only responce I get, unless I intentionally piss him off, is a shrug... I know it's not healthy for me, but I know I will be miserable if I do leave... It's pretty much a lose-lose situation either way...

And yea. Getting married is a big step, but nothing should have changed. I don't understand why it would. We were great before we got married, but all of a sudden he says I'm a control freak. Apparantly he doesn't know what commitment means. I really do think he is afraid of commitment, or doesn't understand what it means, to say the least.  

[00Shoe]

Aakosir

I have brought up the idea of a divorce and I get a shrug...

Sorry to say, that seems like a pretty clear message.  

[Aakosir]

00Shoe

Aakosir

I have brought up the idea of a divorce and I get a shrug...

Sorry to say, that seems like a pretty clear message.

That's the response I get for everything though... "What do you want for dinner?" *shrug* "Can we go out?" *shrug* or I don't care... He's just way to passive! And I'm very dominant... It is very hard for me to find balance with someone who can't even decide on what to eat...  

[00Shoe]

Well if he is passive. Take control.

Set a hard deadline for when he has to make up his mind, and if he doesn't - make it up for him.

There is no point continuing with something that will only get worse with time.  

[Aakosir]

00Shoe

Well if he is passive. Take control.

Set a hard deadline for when he has to make up his mind, and if he doesn't - make it up for him.

There is no point continuing with something that will only get worse with time.

That's what I do. Then he resists and tells me I am a control freak... Apparantly I need to know where he is every second of the day because I send him three texts messages and get upset when I never get a reponse O.o That's not even close to being a control freak... We go all day without talking pretty much everyday he works. I would love to know where he is getting this idea I'm a control freak.  

[00Shoe]

Sounds like you need to get away from him for a weekend. A chance to do your own thing without having to worry about him.  

[Aakosir]

00Shoe

Sounds like you need to get away from him for a weekend. A chance to do your own thing without having to worry about him.

Thing is, I'd have to get away from my daughter too... She is causing a lot of stress for me right now with the terrible two's... She's not even a factor with my husband's behavior because I am the one who takes care of her 24/7...

And I pretty much get away from him everyday when he works... He works from 5 am to midnight every other day. You would think he would be more... responsive to me?  

[00Shoe]

Ah a child. That complicates things...  

[Aakosir]

Not really... Like I said, I take care of her 24/7. When she tries to get attention from him he either ignores her or pushes her away...