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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:54 pm
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The rumpled messages had arrived in the night, tacked onto the students' message boards...
CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING READY TO TEST FOR SECOND YEAR biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin !!!! Meet at the dumpsters behind the Creepateria for your exam okay!! THANK YOU!!
... The note isn't signed. How strange.
It smells back here. It smells really bad. The dumpsters are overflowing with trash and various disgusting things, which might actually be to your liking if you were a particular type of monster! Unfortunately, if you're not... it's extraordinarily gross. Flies fear to go nearby lest they mutate into hideous abominations. Fortunately, there's a hideous abomination waiting for you - Moira, the headcrab zombie school janitor.
... Wait, Amityville is letting janitors run exams now?
Still, as you approach, Moira beams, clapping her hands in excitement. "Oooh, don't you look chipper and spry and ready to graduate to the next level?! I'm so excited to test your mettle, ghouls!!" The zombie turns to one side and gives one of the dumpsters a mighty heave, revealing a dark, trash-encrusted hole underneath. It's quite a big hole. More like a tunnel, really.
"So, ghouls! For your very special exam, I've prepared an adventure in the mysterious depths of Amityville Academy's waste disposal system!! Almost nobody's gone down there, so this is a real treat!" She whispers that last conspiratorially, and with utter genuineness. She seems to really, truly believe that this is some kind of huge honor she's about to grant you. "Now, sweeties, head on down there - I've hidden a super-special goodie! The Golden Scoop and Silver Pail! They're super-special artifacts of the holy trashcraft!" She claps her hands with excitement again. "So go on, ghouls! And try not to die!!"
With that she steps back expectantly, looking from the ghouls to the hole in the ground and back.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:56 pm
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Waste Disposal Tunnel Maze
Roll dice to determine your character's status and fate! You may interact with each other if you wish. Until you finish, you are still first years so you have 30 HP! If you run out of HP at any point, you dissipate and fail.
STAGE ONE: The Entry Tunnels This area is foul and dank. The tunnels are small and are coated with gross on all sides. It's impossible to go through here and stay clean...
Roll 1d 20. If you roll... A 1: You slip and fall on something slimy, twisting an ankle badly enough that you can't possibly search for the artifacts! Automatic fail. sad A 2-10: You continue on through the dank tunnels, but a few trash stalactites fall from the ceiling, striking you for 10 HP damage! A 11-20: You continue on, but the stalactites miss you.
STAGE TWO: The Trashbot Labyrinth The tunnels widen here, and become somewhat less completely disgusting. They're still pretty gross, though. Here and there Moira's Trashbots zoom about, looking for garbage to pick up and take back to the dump.
Roll 1d 12. If you roll... A 1: A Trashbot suddenly charges out of a side tunnel and runs you over! You fail. sad A 2-8: A Trashbot charges you and scoops you up! You manage to escape, but take 10 HP damage in the struggle. A 9-12: You slip past all the Trashbots like a ninja.
STAGE THREE: The Dump The tunnels all open up into a giant underground cave! ... With a garbage dump in it. Are the artifacts in here?!
Roll 1d 8. If you roll... A 1: A trashvalance buries you. You fail, but Moira will come save you. Eventually. sad A 2-5: You step on a mattress and a spring knocks you up into the ceiling for 5 HP damage! Ouch. A 6-8: You wade carefully through all the trash without missing a step! Damn, you're good.
STAGE FOUR: The Trashy Grail In the center of the dump, on a great mound of trash, are the two shining artifacts! Remember, ghouls, one artifact per customer!
Roll 1d4. If you roll... A 1: A headcrab leaps out of the trash at just the wrong moment, causing you to fall off the trash-mound and... ouch. You fail. sad A 2-3: A headcrab leaps out of the trash, but you only sidestep and whack into a rusty bumper. It gashes you for 5 HP damage, and possibly some tetanus too. A 4: You're the mountain goat of the trash-Alps!
If you get past all four stages, you claim an artifact and pass your exam! Please quote me when you finish, or if you wish to interact with Moira in any way before entering the exam.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:59 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:15 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:19 pm
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Nio Love rolled 1 20-sided dice:
10
Total: 10 (1-20)
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:27 pm
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"QUICK! HAH!" Freya stood back up straight, daintily rubbing the corners of her mouth with her fingertips, and her ashen face turned to Taryn with dismay. "Whether we are quicks, or slows, we are goings teh smells like teh ******** shits comings outs of the a** of an antweeker after it has eatens its own poops!"
What.
"Uuuuugh." She groaned, looking down mournfully at the heels she'd worn, and storming forward, heading for the entrance.
"No shower is goings teh be enoughs after all of this. I will has teh scrub my skin off and be one of those undeads yenno, with the skinless and the-"
She turned around, as if suddenly realizing something, and gave Taryn and apologetic smile. "By the way, is nice teh sees yeh here, Taryn. Even if I'd rather be anywhere else in the world."
Turning around was a mistake. Several stalactites fell from the ceiling of the mouth opening, piercing her bare shoulders and slamming into her head. She fell to her knees, held her head in her hands, and made a bellowed wail that sounded like an animal dying.
HP: 20
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bobaTJ rolled 1 20-sided dice:
3
Total: 3 (1-20)
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:31 pm
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Nio Love rolled 1 12-sided dice:
8
Total: 8 (1-12)
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:36 pm
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bobaTJ rolled 1 12-sided dice:
2
Total: 2 (1-12)
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:42 pm
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Nio Love rolled 1 8-sided dice:
6
Total: 6 (1-8)
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:48 pm
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Freya screamed as she flew into the garbage heap with Taryn, reaching out to protect the ghoul's head as they fell into the muck. She let out a screech a moment later, and uncurled from Taryn to stand up. "This is terribles! TERRIBLES! This womans, she is goings teh pays for my cleaning bills! No, she is goings teh buys me a new dress! A NEW ONE! Garbage never comes out of white!"
She didn't know that for sure, but rest assured when she got home, she would find that she was right.
As she stood, she found the first positive thing about her outfit. Her large stilettos were long enough that, when they dug down into the garbage, they kept the rest of her feet away from the muck. For once, things were going right.
She held her hand out to Taryn this time, and smiled. "We goes, yes?"
HP: 10
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bobaTJ rolled 1 8-sided dice:
5
Total: 5 (1-8)
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 9:04 pm
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Nio Love rolled 1 4-sided dice:
4
Total: 4 (1-4)
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 9:05 pm
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bobaTJ rolled 1 4-sided dice:
3
Total: 3 (1-4)
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 9:34 pm
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A Trashbot with a headcrab on one shoulder trundled up the trash-mountain and scooped Freya up almost tenderly, carrying her back out into the light of the pumpkin sun. "Oooh, a victory! A great victory!" Moira gasped and covered her mouth with both hands, clearly delighted. "You, miss, have the makings of a great ghoul... a great and most perspicacious ghoul indeed!"
With that, the zombie took the precious artifact, and the Trashbot put Freya down with surprising delicacy. "Congratulations, spookie!! Oh, uh... I must have.. misplaced my pin but I'll have a gnome send it to you as soon as I can, you Knob you!!"
Nio Love Moira doesn't have an official pin yet, but you can claim it when she does~ grats!
Taryn would recieve a hand-drawn card with a smiling little Trashbot holding a bouquet of dead flowers on it. Inside, it read:
"DEAR TARYN: I'm so sorry!! sad sad sad But you tried REALLY REALLY EXTRA SUPER HARD and I'm so proud of you anyway spookie!! Congratulations on being a Knob now okay!!
- Moira *********, Janitor"
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