post a joke

[Cinna101]

funniest joke i see when i check this later gets 20k goldzzz  

[00Shoe]

Best joke that makes you laugh or best joke that makes you groan?  

[Cinna101]

00Shoe

Best joke that makes you laugh or best joke that makes you groan?

i believe laughter is what i'm searching for mrgreen  

[Duwilo]

A King had to leave his Kingdom for some business. He was afraid that his only Daughter would be taken advantage of by some of the Guards because she was a very deep sleeper. So before he left, he slipped a razor blade between the lips of her v****a.

The King left. That night, three of the Guards did plan to ******** the Princess.

The First Guard went into her room. From outside of the room, the other two Guards listened. Suddenly, they heard the First Guard scream. He came out. The other two Guards asked why he screamed. Embarrassed, he said that it was so good that he couldn't control himself. This made the other two smile.

The Second Guard went in. After some time? Ahhhhh!!! The Second Guard came out. The Third Guard asked what happened. Just as embarrassed as the First Guard, the Second Guard said that it felt so good that he couldn't control himself. The Third Guard smiled.

The Third Guard went into the room. He went up to the Princess and lifted her dress. Outside, the other two Guards listened. Mmmmmhhhh!?! The other two Guards took off! The next morning, the King came back. He suspected that his Guards tried to ******** his daughter. He told them to drop their pants. Each of them did. Two of them had sliced dicks, but the third one didn?t. Confused, the King asked why. He stuck his tongue out and said, ?I neba pry f** ur dahta, I wet lik ur dahta?!  

[Kairo Yakazu]

Do you know the difference between pity and shame?
Shame: a bus full of lawyers drives off a cliff and drown at the bottom of the ocean.
Pity: There was a seat left open.  

[Duwilo]

I hope i'm not dq cause of joke subject :p  

[Cinna101]

Duwilo

A King had to leave his Kingdom for some business. He was afraid that his only Daughter would be taken advantage of by some of the Guards because she was a very deep sleeper. So before he left, he slipped a razor blade between the lips of her v****a.

The King left. That night, three of the Guards did plan to ******** the Princess.

The First Guard went into her room. From outside of the room, the other two Guards listened. Suddenly, they heard the First Guard scream. He came out. The other two Guards asked why he screamed. Embarrassed, he said that it was so good that he couldn't control himself. This made the other two smile.

The Second Guard went in. After some time? Ahhhhh!!! The Second Guard came out. The Third Guard asked what happened. Just as embarrassed as the First Guard, the Second Guard said that it felt so good that he couldn't control himself. The Third Guard smiled.

The Third Guard went into the room. He went up to the Princess and lifted her dress. Outside, the other two Guards listened. Mmmmmhhhh!?! The other two Guards took off! The next morning, the King came back. He suspected that his Guards tried to ******** his daughter. He told them to drop their pants. Each of them did. Two of them had sliced dicks, but the third one didn?t. Confused, the King asked why. He stuck his tongue out and said, ?I neba pry f** ur dahta, I wet lik ur dahta?!

that was funny XP
you win biggrin
send trade if you want the goldz  

[Cinna101]

Kairo Yakazu

Do you know the difference between pity and shame?
Shame: a bus full of lawyers drives off a cliff and drown at the bottom of the ocean.
Pity: There was a seat left open.

i actually kinda like lawyers D:
jokemad me smile though biggrin  

[Duwilo]

pleasure doing buisness. I'll be here all week :3  

[dragonf121]

(God don't let me make a fool out of myself with a bad joke)

An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting on the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank.

The aircraft commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extreamly slow in getting the tank pumped out.

When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I'm pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"  

[Halcyon III]

Military comparisons of the word "sucks"
An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 15 kg. pack on his back, 5 kg. weapon in hand, after having marched 15 km, and says, "This sucks."

An Army Airborne Ranger stands waist deep in the rain with a 25 kg. pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from an airplane and marched 30 km, and says with a smile, "This sucks just fine!"

A Special Forces soldier lies in the mud, 40 kg pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming 10 km to shore, crawling through a swamp and marching 40 km at night past the enemy positions, says with a grin, while biting the head of a snake "This really sucks, I wish it could suck more....."

An Air Force Pilot flying over the battlefield, the rain is pouring down, looks down at the soldiers below and says: "Sure sucks down there!"

An Air Force officer sits in an easy chair in his air conditioned, carpeted room and says to his friend, "Man.. Cable's out! This sucks!"  

[dragonf121]

Halcyonic Wolf

Military comparisons of the word "sucks"
An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 15 kg. pack on his back, 5 kg. weapon in hand, after having marched 15 km, and says, "This sucks."

An Army Airborne Ranger stands waist deep in the rain with a 25 kg. pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from an airplane and marched 30 km, and says with a smile, "This sucks just fine!"

A Special Forces soldier lies in the mud, 40 kg pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming 10 km to shore, crawling through a swamp and marching 40 km at night past the enemy positions, says with a grin, while biting the head of a snake "This really sucks, I wish it could suck more....."

An Air Force Pilot flying over the battlefield, the rain is pouring down, looks down at the soldiers below and says: "Sure sucks down there!"

An Air Force officer sits in an easy chair in his air conditioned, carpeted room and says to his friend, "Man.. Cable's out! This sucks!"

The site I got my joke from had one similar to this  

[Kairo Yakazu]

I apologize to any blondes reading this joke, but it's the best one I know.

A stewardess was sitting and waiting for the plane to take off when a customer walked over to her. "Excuse me ma'am. There's a young woman in my first class seat and she refuses to move."

The stewardess nodded and got up, heading to the customer's seat and sitting in it was a young blonde woman. The stewardess smiled softly and said, "Ma'am, this isn't your seat. Could you please go back to your seat in coach?"

The blonde shook her head. "I'm young. I'm beautiful. I'm going to Dallas and I'm not moving."

The stewardess sighed, fetching the head steward. When the head steward tried, he got the same answer as well; "I'm young. I'm beautiful. I'm going to Dallas and I'm not moving."

The pilot, who was relatively annoyed, suddenly appeared from the cockpit. "What's the hold up back here? We need to get moving!"

"Sir, there's a young woman who belongs in coach that refuses to move from a seat in first class."

Looking at the blonde, the pilot smiled. "I got this." Walking over, he leaned down and whispered something in her ear. Without even the slightest argument, the woman got up and went back into coach! The stewardess couldn't believe it. "How did you get here to give up the seat?"

"Easy," said the pilot, who disappeared into the cockpit with a smirk. "I told her first class doesn't go to Dallas."  

[sandrock_buck]

Hahaha, good jokes all around, I haven't gotten to stretch my comedy legs in awhile.

Little Red Riding Hood is about to go to her grandmother's house, but her mother stops her at the door. "Don't take the forest path Little Red," said her mother "Or the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry." Little Red agreed and took off down the mountain path.

Hours later, Little Red decided that the trip was taking too long and switched over to the forest path. A turtle saw her coming towards the forest and warned her "You should turn back while you can Little Red, before the Big Bad Wolf catches you and sucks your tits dry." Little Red ignored the turtle's warning and continued down the forest path.

Finally, the Big Bad Wolf himself stepped out and stopped Little Red. "Alright Little Red," the Wolf said "Lift up your shirt so I can suck your tits dry." Little Red shook her head "Oh no you don't" she replied, lifting up her skirt "You're going to eat me, just like the story says."  

[sandrock_buck]

Halcyonic Wolf

Military comparisons of the word "sucks"
An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 15 kg. pack on his back, 5 kg. weapon in hand, after having marched 15 km, and says, "This sucks."

An Army Airborne Ranger stands waist deep in the rain with a 25 kg. pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from an airplane and marched 30 km, and says with a smile, "This sucks just fine!"

A Special Forces soldier lies in the mud, 40 kg pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming 10 km to shore, crawling through a swamp and marching 40 km at night past the enemy positions, says with a grin, while biting the head of a snake "This really sucks, I wish it could suck more....."

An Air Force Pilot flying over the battlefield, the rain is pouring down, looks down at the soldiers below and says: "Sure sucks down there!"

An Air Force officer sits in an easy chair in his air conditioned, carpeted room and says to his friend, "Man.. Cable's out! This sucks!"

Haha, you forgot the Navy!!!
A sailor is standing watch pn the quarterdeck of his boat when a another sailor walks up to him and begins to give the watchstander a b*****b. Lost for words, the watchstander says "This *ga-guy-sp* sucks!!!"