MYYYY MOTHER

[Citrus Novii]

Is a horrible person who deserves to be smacked up the side of the head with a blunt object forcing a broken cheek bone to protrude from the skin, then left to gather infection.

stare

Okay.
I'm done.

GODIAMSOFRKINGMADRIGHTNOW.

WHY, can they not just keep her in prison?
WHY? WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY?

classified_fu  

[Citrus Novii]

Quote:

Dear Kahla and Mormor,

Hope you are well!
In hopes that you may one day in your heart be able to forgive me for the ways I have hurt you. Even though I see now I acted selfishly in all my actions, Kahla I never wanted to hurt you or Mormor in the ways that I have. To blame an addiction really seems a poor, very poor excuse, which is what the truth actually is.

Kahla, I didn't do what was best, however I always assumed you were alright emotionally and in all other aspects.
Your letter breaks my heart I never wanted things to end up like this. I want you to have a wonderful life and maybe without my interfering you will have that. I wish for you to one day see that my intentions were never to have caused you the pain that I have caused either of you.
The times we went to Temple fishing at the creek, swimming, playing etc I have many memories of my attempts to be a part-time mother I am grief stricken to realize that none of those things are meaningful or if they are even remembered. Again I see that I just never did enough nor were my actions consistent.
The love Mormor had for you, the times where we were a family, when Don died and I came. When Mormor was sick and taken to the hospital I felt like there was a bond there between us that would not be broken. I am wrong. You loved me once. Kahla I have pondered on and on and on as to what I should write to you. I need to accept your feelings nad I do. I acknowledge all the major mistakes I shouldn't have made and did.

There is nothing that I could want more at this time in my life than for you to have some small glint of forgiveness though you state that will not happen and to go on with my life.
I am leaving on the first from this unit and released on the second. If I don't hear from you by then have a most wonderful New Year may you truly get what you want in life and all the things you deserve. My life is going to be very difficult for a while and I truly have NO HELP or nowhere to go. so know that I do love you with all of my heart. It is so much bigger than you believe and if it's best that you have no contact with me my motivation for writing to you will cease here.

I love you both always and forever, goodbye.

This letter is what spurned my anger.  

[DarkMoonSlayer]

I know a bit about your mom and part of me wants to say give her achance but.... she had her chance didn't she...-hughugfornovii-  

[Citrus Novii]

DarkMoonSlayer

I know a bit about your mom and part of me wants to say give her achance but.... she had her chance didn't she...-hughugfornovii-

Thank you <3
Yeah, numerous chances. She just can not, or will not change.
She makes it through probation, she makes it through parole, but once they're done with testing her she's right back to her heroine shooting cocaine sniffing days like there was no interruption.

This has been going on since BEFORE I was born.
This latest time I mean she stole jewelry that was worth collectively like, 2,000 dollars, that was in my name for after my grandmother passes. THEN BLAMED ME FOR IT.

 

[DarkMoonSlayer]

While I know the money isn't the issue there you could say "you get another chance when you pay back what you stole"

If she actually does it it might be a sign she is more serious?

Maybe I am too optimistic....  

[xxXSleepy_NinjaXxx]

I don't know anything about your relationship between you and your mom, but I'm sorry that things aren't working out between you two.
/hugs  

[Citrus Novii]

DarkMoonSlayer

While I know the money isn't the issue there you could say "you get another chance when you pay back what you stole"

If she actually does it it might be a sign she is more serious?

Maybe I am too optimistic....

In a lot of cases, I would agree with you. But my mother is extremely settled into her patterns and habits. I mean, she got into the drugs when she was like...15 years old and she just sort of fell into this life of being a con artist.

The sad part, is that she's good at it. Like, really good at it. I don't know why, and I wish she wasn't but she's just this poisonous individual that is totally capable of doing what you suggested, and then turning around and stealing it all back plus some, and then come back and say that she didn't do anything wrong.

She's just one of those bad people that's out there. :/

More of what the issue is that I am incapable of forgiveness, she wasn't wrong in her letter about that. I hold grudges, I do. Not to say that I can't forgive MOST things, but she lied to my face, stole from my grandmother (again), and then the unbearable part; She blamed me. In front of EVERYONE, and there was a period where everyone believed HER over ME.

It wasn't a long second, but everyone hoped it was me that had goofed, so that she wouldn't be admitted back into the same lifestyle.

I can't forgive that.

I <3 you though, and your optimism. I just have none left when it comes to my parents. xP  

[DarkMoonSlayer]

Citrus Novii

In a lot of cases, I would agree with you. But my mother is extremely settled into her patterns and habits. I mean, she got into the drugs when she was like...15 years old and she just sort of fell into this life of being a con artist.

The sad part, is that she's good at it. Like, really good at it. I don't know why, and I wish she wasn't but she's just this poisonous individual that is totally capable of doing what you suggested, and then turning around and stealing it all back plus some, and then come back and say that she didn't do anything wrong.

She's just one of those bad people that's out there. :/

More of what the issue is that I am incapable of forgiveness, she wasn't wrong in her letter about that. I hold grudges, I do. Not to say that I can't forgive MOST things, but she lied to my face, stole from my grandmother (again), and then the unbearable part; She blamed me. In front of EVERYONE, and there was a period where everyone believed HER over ME.

It wasn't a long second, but everyone hoped it was me that had goofed, so that she wouldn't be admitted back into the same lifestyle.

I can't forgive that.

I <3 you though, and your optimism. I just have none left when it comes to my parents. xP

I just hope you and her can have some form of reconciliation... someday..... ya know? -hughug-  

[Citrus Novii]

xxXSleepy_NinjaXxx

I don't know anything about your relationship between you and your mom, but I'm sorry that things aren't working out between you two.
/hugs

It's not hard for me to explain, but I'm sorry if this is a TL;DR.
My mother and father gave me up when I was 3 months old. Didn't want me, drug related stuff. She came to court high on cocaine and so the judge was like, "Okay, custody granted to your grandmother."

SO, my grandmother raised me. There was a period of time where I went missing, because my mother kidnapped me on visitation rights. Obviously I was returned, but only really because I was found by a private investigator that my grandmother had hired. I think I was gone for like, 2 days? They found me in a car, in Houston, outside of a drug house. My grandmother dropped all charges.

So, I'm growing up with my mom in and out of my life in prison. Where she repeatedly doesn't show up to do things with me, because of drugs, and she only does show up when there's some kind of family emergency that she can take advantage of because there's blood in the water. That was fine, I dealt with it. I had totally accepted that was the situation.

Then she gets out of jail like 5-6 years ago and my grandmother falls into her clutches. Believes she's changed, gives her money, goes to see her in rehab. Then my grandmother gets sick. Very sick. Vomiting blood, dehydration, and kidney failure. My mom and I hung out for the two weeks my grandmother was in the hospital, but as soon as we get home after the hospital visit, my grandmother has to go in for a check up visit.

My mom stays at the house, and my grandmothers' krugarin coins (I have no idea how to spell that. But they're south African currency made of gold) gold and and a few rings that were very special to her were stolen. And then a little while later she's in jail again.

I send a letter telling her to ******** off basically, and to never contact my family again and that she's a worthless piece of horse s**t that deserves to be strung up and tarred in front of everyone she's ever cared about for every malicious thing she's ever done to me and my family. For every night she DIDN'T come home when I was staying in her house in Temple, forgetting me at camp, not taking me for my first day of school, all of those charming 'memories' she talks about. And then she sends me a letter, which I didn't even read, and then she sent me this one, which I posted here.

Sorry. XD
It's a re-opened sore spot.  

[DarkMoonSlayer]

Totally just read the letter you sent meee. <33

Gonna write back later today hopefully. I cna't print on this computer otherwise I'd do it now... but it's cold where the other computer is. xD  

[xxXSleepy_NinjaXxx]

Citrus Novii

xxXSleepy_NinjaXxx

I don't know anything about your relationship between you and your mom, but I'm sorry that things aren't working out between you two.
/hugs

It's not hard for me to explain, but I'm sorry if this is a TL;DR.
My mother and father gave me up when I was 3 months old. Didn't want me, drug related stuff. She came to court high on cocaine and so the judge was like, "Okay, custody granted to your grandmother."

SO, my grandmother raised me. There was a period of time where I went missing, because my mother kidnapped me on visitation rights. Obviously I was returned, but only really because I was found by a private investigator that my grandmother had hired. I think I was gone for like, 2 days? They found me in a car, in Houston, outside of a drug house. My grandmother dropped all charges.

So, I'm growing up with my mom in and out of my life in prison. Where she repeatedly doesn't show up to do things with me, because of drugs, and she only does show up when there's some kind of family emergency that she can take advantage of because there's blood in the water. That was fine, I dealt with it. I had totally accepted that was the situation.

Then she gets out of jail like 5-6 years ago and my grandmother falls into her clutches. Believes she's changed, gives her money, goes to see her in rehab. Then my grandmother gets sick. Very sick. Vomiting blood, dehydration, and kidney failure. My mom and I hung out for the two weeks my grandmother was in the hospital, but as soon as we get home after the hospital visit, my grandmother has to go in for a check up visit.

My mom stays at the house, and my grandmothers' krugarin coins (I have no idea how to spell that. But they're south African currency made of gold) gold and and a few rings that were very special to her were stolen. And then a little while later she's in jail again.

I send a letter telling her to ******** off basically, and to never contact my family again and that she's a worthless piece of horse s**t that deserves to be strung up and tarred in front of everyone she's ever cared about for every malicious thing she's ever done to me and my family. For every night she DIDN'T come home when I was staying in her house in Temple, forgetting me at camp, not taking me for my first day of school, all of those charming 'memories' she talks about. And then she sends me a letter, which I didn't even read, and then she sent me this one, which I posted here.

Sorry. XD
It's a re-opened sore spot.

That's okay.
If I went through that I don't think I would be too fond of my mother either.  

[Citrus Novii]

DarkMoonSlayer

Totally just read the letter you sent meee. <33

Gonna write back later today hopefully. I cna't print on this computer otherwise I'd do it now... but it's cold where the other computer is. xD

Oh my GOSH.
Thank goodness I actually sent it. I forgot, and I've spent the last few days looking for it. XD  

[Citrus Novii]

xxXSleepy_NinjaXxx

That's okay.
If I went through that I don't think I would be too fond of my mother either.

<3 ^^;
I don't mean to sound whiny or anything lol.
I was just really mad this morning.

I'm better now. 3nodding
A couple 20 ouncers of coke zero and I'm right as rain.  

[DarkMoonSlayer]

Citrus Novii

DarkMoonSlayer

Totally just read the letter you sent meee. <33

Gonna write back later today hopefully. I cna't print on this computer otherwise I'd do it now... but it's cold where the other computer is. xD

Oh my GOSH.
Thank goodness I actually sent it. I forgot, and I've spent the last few days looking for it. XD

BAHAHAHAH! That's pretty funny. xD  

[Citrus Novii]

DarkMoonSlayer

Citrus Novii

DarkMoonSlayer

Totally just read the letter you sent meee. <33

Gonna write back later today hopefully. I cna't print on this computer otherwise I'd do it now... but it's cold where the other computer is. xD

Oh my GOSH.
Thank goodness I actually sent it. I forgot, and I've spent the last few days looking for it. XD

BAHAHAHAH! That's pretty funny. xD

XD
I was just sitting here all like, "She'll say if she got it. Or WILL SHE?" :<

x3