[FIN] Stages of Grieving

[insidiousEnigma]

In loving memory of a dear and loving husband and wife, beloved parents and children
Jean and Valerie Dubois
Always in our thoughts, Forever in our hearts

The words were as engraved in his mind as they were in the smooth, black marble that served as the marker of his parents' resting place.

Jabari, for all that he had complained when he was dragged along, was silent just over his left shoulder and he wasn't sure if he was grateful for the quiet or anxious for the pokemon to say something biting and sarcastic just for some semblance of normal. Neither of them said anything for quite some time though, both opting to just stare at the flowers and various little trinkets left behind by unknown people. "...I wonder who set up the burial." Zacharie croaked, the first thing he'd managed to say in what felt like days but in reality had only been an hour. Whoever had arranged for the tombstone obviously didn't know a thing about his parents. Or perhaps it was he that knew nothing about them.

Not that it mattered, it was far too late for any of that.

"Do you think they're actually buried? They always struck me as the cremation types...or maybe donate their bodies to science." Jabari muttered something that made it sound a lot like he didn't know nor care. "Yeah, you're right...who knew with them?" He said softly, his hands clenching at his sides. He felt a tight knot of emotion lodge itself in his throat and he blinked back the tears that threatened to overflow before clearing his throat loudly. "I don't believe in an afterlife, and I can't really imagine either of you did either, but I never got the chance to tell you this and I suppose now is a good time to do so...just in case there is some way that you can hear me." He took a deep, shuddering breath and clenched his eyes shut. "I don't hate you." He rasped around the lump in his throat. "Nothing was ever good enough for you and you literally ruined my life...I want to hate you so badly, but I can't-" He brought a hand up to muffle a rough sob. "I wish things could have been different...I wish I could have known you, I wish that we could have been a family." He gasped around his fingers, not bothering to wipe away the hot tears that rolled down his cheeks. Distantly, he realized this was the first time that he had allowed himself to cry since receiving the news of their death. "But I have a real family now and its better than anything I've ever had before." He could feel Jabari hovering close beside him and he took comfort in that. "So I'm not going to let this hinder my growth. I'm going to move on with my life and not think of you...because while I don't hate you I certainly don't love you and you aren't worth my time." He sank to the grass and hid his face into his knees and allowed himself to cry.  

[Blood_Goddess]

Another year, it was hard to believe that it had been another year already, Rosie was starting to loose count of just how many years that her mother had passed away, how many visits she had taken not just with her family, but by herself and Vahy'n.

Rosie had watched the steady and increasing wear on her mothers stone, and today, while Bruce, her cousins and Alex had come suggested that they might someday have to replace if the wear kept up like this.
The memorial park was always so quiet, and it felt even more so as the rest of her family took their leave for the day, Rosie remaining behind to spend just a little more time at the monument that her mother was buried under.
quietly reflecting and talking with her mother, or whatever part of her mother could even listen to her. She liked to think that somehow her mother still could listen, even if it was just able to make Rosie herself feel better.
plucking away lightly at the small harp resting in her lap until her fingers started to grow a little numb, and she placed it back into its case, snapping it shut and finding herself standing, case in hand, in front of her mother's grave.
Vahy'n, the former companion of the women standing next to her youngest daughter.

"Well, I'm going home now Mama... It was nice to see you again, I'll stop by again soon, okay~"
Reaching a hand out, Rosie placed it onto the stone standing over the selection of flowers that they had just brought her.
A soft smile found the girl's face, attempting to lift up her sinking heart.
It was times like this that she really missed her mother.

The trainer, dressed in a flowering spring dress, white tights and pink flats folded her fingers into the handle of the harp case she was carrying, looking down at Vahy'n with a soft smile before she turned, the two making their way down the grassy hills pricked with various stones and memorials.

It was a peaceful walk, she didn't often see that many people standing around the quiet scenery, but today the sounds of sorrow caught her attention, jabbing at her heart to look up to find the source of the soft barely audible crying from a boy, not too much younger then she was with his face in his arms, he was standing in front of what looked like a relatively newly placed headstone.
He was alone, except for a Shuppet hanging by his shoulder, who looked like he seemed a little out of place himself.

Pausing, and sharing a glance with Vahy'n, Rosie felt a great deal of sympathy toward the boy, that drover to her walk over, pulling the flap of her bag open so she could reach in for something.

"Excuse me- Sir?" Rosie said gently, and held out a small tissue package "Would you like one?"  

[insidiousEnigma]

Jabari groused halfheartedly as he nudged his trainer's shoulder. He really couldn't harp on the teen too much though...for years his parents had been the driving force behind almost everything that Zacharie had done and to suddenly have them gone...

"I-I know...I'm...I'm trying to stop." The boy hiccuped as he tugged at the short strands of his hair, "I don't want to cry for them..." He said softly, his eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to stop the tears. He absolutely hated crying, it made his head hurt and his nose get runny and despite what some people said it did not make him feel any better. In fact, he thought he felt worse than when he had shown up! He just wanted to go back to his new bed and sleep for forever.

...That was a dirty lie.
He wanted to go out and pick flowers until he felt like he was himself again.

"Shuppet..." He didn't know what Jabari was talking about until he heard a soft voice nearby and he was practically scrambling to his feet. When all he managed was to get himself tangled up in his bag strap he gave up and sat back on the ground with a rather pathetic sob. He finally risked a glance up at the person interrupting his rather personal moment and tried to give the blonde haired girl a glare...and it might have worked if his bottom lip wasn't trembling with the effort it took not to start crying again. "...Yes." He muttered after a moment of pouting, reaching out to tug a little tissue free. "That's..." He blew his nose quietly and sniffled softly. "That's very kind of you."  

[Blood_Goddess]

"Oh-" Startled that his reaction would be so abrupt Rosie straightened up sharply, large blue eyes blinking down at the now struggling boy who was sitting on the ground.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
She said with deeply apologetic tone, allowing him to take a tissue before she lowered her offering hand.
"Not at all, you just looked like you could use one..." She paused glancing at the tombstones to see the dates etched into the faces, finding that it was indeed more recently.
"I'm sorry for your loss."  

[insidiousEnigma]

"I didn't know anyone else was here." He said quietly as he wiped the tears from his face with the back of his wrist. He'd been caught in the middle of having an emotional breakdown, he was absolutely mortified and it should in the bright blush that spread across his damp cheek. Taking a moment to untangle himself from his messenger back, he managed to climb to his feet so he didn't look like an idiot kneeling before his parents' graves. Her condolences made him pause, his pale gaze flickering from her to the smooth marble of the headstone. His loss...had he really lost all that much from the death of his parents? He had certainly gained quite a bit...which had surprised him immensely. "It..." What should he say to that? "My relationship with my...my parents was rather complicated." He hiccuped before biting his lip to keep himself from crying again. "I admit that I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the matter." He murmured, his gaze flickering over to the girl.  

[Blood_Goddess]

Rosie offed a soft smile at his confession that he didn't know that anyone else was there, taking a moment to glance around the memorial park, seeing that it did look empty.
"It can feel like that sometimes here." She admitted, "Oh-" lowering the harp base onto the ground Rosie hurried over to try and help the purple haired boy loose form his bag and to his feet.

She glanced again to the memorial markers when he explained that he had a complicated relationship with parents.
"I think loss is hard no matter what way you look at it." Rosie offered "The outcome always seems to hit harder then we expect I think."
She gave him a small smile,  

[insidiousEnigma]

Zacharie gave the girl a small, shy smile as thanks for the help before he once again turned his gaze to the graves. "I've seen a lot of death." He said softly as he stared pensively at the writing etched into the reflective stone. "It's inevitable so I never felt much about it one way or the other, it happens to everyone eventually, but I guess I just..." He let out a long breath as he ran a hand through his hair. "They just always seemed so untouchable." He finished, his voice so quiet he might as well be whispering. His left hand reached out as if to touch the marker but he let it fall limply back to his side before he made contact. "I hope they're happy now...they never seemed happy." He swallowed thickly before turning away so he wouldn't have to stare at the reminder any longer. "You're here...to visit someone as well?" He asked as a way to change the subject.  

[Blood_Goddess]

Once he was back onto his feet Rosie folded her hands in front of her. She couldn't help but be a little surprised hearing about his experiences, she wasn't sure what his situation was that he saw a lot of death, or that he could become so casual about it. It was clear it didn't make him heartless, but he definitely had a unique understanding... at least one Rosie herself wasn't familiar with.

The words that followed were what sank Rosie's heart, that no matter what they had gone through, no matter how poor or distant of a relationship they may seem, their son still wished that they were happy.
Rosie smiled gently, "I like to believe that they are, and I think that means something."

When she was asked why she was here Rosie nodded "My mother." she replied. "Eights years today. and I remember feeling a lot like you did, about her being untouchable. She was just always so strong, and sure... it just seems to come out of no where, doesn't it."
He offered Zacharie a soft, kind smile.
"My name is Rosie, by the way."  

[insidiousEnigma]

For some reason that bewildered him, "And you still visit." He murmured, his voice a strange mixture of awe and confusion. Her visiting on the anniversary implied that she did this every year...he wasn't sure if he could do this every year. "Does it get easier?" He asked softly before shaking his head and clarifying. "To come and visit, I mean. I don't know if I could come back..." Just the thought of it made him feel uncomfortable.

Rosie...

"That's a pretty name; like a rose." He returned the smile with a shaky one of his own. "I'm Zacharie...it's nice to meet you." Which he supposed it was...even under the circumstances.  

[Blood_Goddess]

The blond arched her eyebrows at his question, smiled and nodded "Yeah, I still visit from time to time, it helps sometimes you know. And it does get easier, I mean... I'll always miss her, I don't think you'll ever forget them, or even miss then in one way or the other."
She shook her head lightly at his last comment "My fiance also lost his mother, he has a lot of trouble with the idea of visiting her too, sometimes there are different ways of allowing yourself to accept what happened, and if not coming back is one of them, then that's okay."

Her soft features lip up at the complement of her name, "Thank you so much~ Its nice to meet you too Zacharie." She said, holding her hand out to shake his. "I'm sorry again for startling you like that." Her blue eyes drifted up to the Shuppet "And who is this?"  

[insidiousEnigma]

"...You're are very wise." He gave a light laugh as he balled up the tissue in his hand to stuff it into his bag. "You don't need to apologize...I startle easily." Zacharie shuffled a bit in embarrassment at the admission before glancing over his shoulder. "Oh..." He had completely forgotten that Jabari was there, it was incredibly strange for the Shuppet to be so quiet. "This is Jabari, he's normally not so quiet." He smiled at the irritated grumble that got him. "I was there when he hatched and we've been together ever since." The teen smiled brightly at the memory. Jabari groused as he lightly headbutted his trainer's shoulder.  

[Blood_Goddess]

She looked surprised at the comment, her cheeks flushing a little pink, shaking her head with a gentle expression and holding a hand up lightly. "just hopeful." She replied bashfully.

When they were introduced to the pokemon with the Boy Rosie brightened up, giggling lightly at the pokemon's behavior toward his trainer, Vahy'n as well, who could actually hear him chuckled softly.
"Well, its nice to meet you Jabari, you two much be very close."  

[insidiousEnigma]

The pair looked at each other, both of their heads cocked as they regarded each other.

"I like to think so."


They replied at the same time, Zacharie with a shrug and Jabari with a roll of his eyes. The Shuppet would never admit to it, but the boy knew that despite all of his complaining that Jabari liked him as well. Jabari muttered as he started off towards the exit, tired of being in a space that made Zacharie upset. The teen looked after his pokemon before turning to Rosie, "Would...would you perhaps like to join us?" He asked timidly, motioning after his retreating pokemon. "I was going to find a place to eat."  

[Blood_Goddess]

As the two replied together Rosie giggled again "Oh yeah."
It seemed that so far what she knew of this boy, he seemed like he he had a strange, but wonderful bond with his pokemon.

"Hm? yeah sure, I would like that." She agreed happily in response to his invite. "We havn't had any lunch yet ourselves."
Making sure to turn back and pick up the harp case she had set down to help Zacharie up, she turned back to him, taking one last look at the headstones on the graves before she moved over to join him
"Dubois. Is that your last name too?"  

[insidiousEnigma]

He hadn't really expected her to say yes and it showed in the bewildered look he gave her. "Oh, ah, great!" He smiled widely before he could catch himself, though he quickly schooled his expression into a look of slight indifference. "There's a deli that I used to-" He paused, briefly wondering if he was giving away too much information. No...no, it was just a deli. "I used to go there before I uhm...left home. I'm actually not sure if it's still there..." It was so strange to think that he hadn't been to his hometown in a full year.

"Hm?" He blinked owlishly, his gaze flickering over to the headstones. "Oh, yes. Zacharie Dubois."