[B] The Cage of Family (Hollyhock, Starburst) [FIN]

[Tiarana]

Advice, she thought, in strange manic panic. I'll get advice from someone - a mother - Bristletail had brought her to an herbalist, who had slipped her some herbs after a private conversation, but she couldn't bring herself to take them. And she couldn't just leave the little warm bodies somewhere; not when Bristletail was so excited about them. Even when Hollyhock had mentioned, hesitantly, that they might not be his, he'd simply laughed. "I never thought I had you all to myself, sweet Holly. But it doesn't matter. I'll love them all the same."

Better a loving father than a hateful one, anyway, she thought, thinking back on her own childhood. But what if it was the mother who couldn't bring herself to love the offspring? What then? As much as she desperately wanted to love them, she was quite certain that she could not, would not. The walls would close in on her, tighter and tighter, like a boa constrictor, until she suffocated. Hollyhock shuddered and stood up decisively. She would find someone who could tell her how to love her offspring. "Advice from a mother," she said out loud, feeling vaguely reassured already.

Amorpheous

one day my kin will be wholeheartedly enthusiastic about their babies. one day.

 

[Amorpheous]

That familiar tug pulled Starburst along as she picked her way over roots and around bogs. She often approached parents to be as a cheetah, she was small and fast in her other form, able to navigate tree tops instead of the ground, but today she felt like walking on her hooves. Her tailed swayed back and forth, relaxed even though she had a purpose to her walking.

She knew she was getting closer and then there the other doe was, just within her line of sight. She kicked up her hooves and approached at a comfortable speed, announcing her presence with a serene, "Hello!

Tiarana

 

[Tiarana]

Hollyhock swiveled in the direction of the sound, surprised. She had been so deep in thought that she hadn't heard the other kin's approach. Her paramours did not usually come to visit her at home. "Who's there? Are you a mother?"

Amorpheous

 

[Amorpheous]

Starburst gave a cheerful flick of her tail before responding, "Congratulations! My name is Tastes Like Summer and I am, indeed, a mother."

Tiarana

 

[Tiarana]

Hollyhock stepped closer suddenly; so close they were almost touching. "And can you tell me how a mother loves her children?" she asked with frantic desperation.

Amorpheous

aha I was wondering where crazy hollyhock went to after writing all those drabbles. turns out she's right here...

 

[Amorpheous]

Lucky Starburst was not easily surprised or moved, so she only blinked at the doe's sudden closeness. She shook her head, smiling gently, at the doe's question. "I'm sorry. I can't simply tell someone how they will or will not love. Love is unique to each kin and who they share it with."

Tiarana

hehe, hi hollyhock!

 

[Tiarana]

Hollyhock sat back down with a sigh. "What do I do, then? I don't...I can't..." A tear ran down her cheek. "It's not fair," she wailed. "I don't want this. I don't want this at all."

Amorpheous

 

[Amorpheous]

Starburst sat down next to the doe. "You shouldn't make yourself do something you don't want to do."

"Forcing yourself to have children when you do not want them will make you and those around you miserable. And there simply is no way to force love, however, perhaps you misjudge your ability to love or what it is required of you to love another. Love can be as simple as loving a small thing you have chosen to do by your free will. Love can be carrying children and then birthing them in a safe place without any obligation to care for them afterwards. Love does not have to grand and love should never be an obligation."

Tiarana

/rambling

 

[Tiarana]

Hollyhock sniffled while Starburst talked, but by the end she had calmed down a little. "It's a little late for that now," she sighed. "Bristletail is awfully excited. He will love them even if I don't. But I wish that I could, as well. All they do is trap me here."

Amorpheous

 

[Amorpheous]

"Why do you feel trapped here by your children?" she asked gently, trying to understand the meaning behind the doe's words.

Tiarana

Ack! Sorry about the wait!

 

[Tiarana]

She turned her pale white eyes upwards to the doe in front of her. "I'm blind. I can do nothing without another kin to aid me. If I have children, there's no way....no way...no way that as long as they're small...Bristletail will ever take me to find a zikwa. And I need to find a zikwa."

Amorpheous

 

[Amorpheous]

"Children do not stay small forever and they are hardly helpless even when they are," Starburst paused, "But if you cannot wait, there is a tribe of mothers and other caretakers who would gladly care for your children for as long as you need. I can bring you there when the time comes if you'd like."

Tiarana

Ahhh! I thought I had responded, but apparently I didn't!

 

[Tiarana]

Hollyhock sighed. "I would appreciate that, but who would take care of me? I can't find a zikwa by myself. Bristletail will not leave the children."

Amorpheous

haha, that happens

 

[Amorpheous]

"Perhaps you will find something in the wait, there is much to be learned in between the spaces of the events that define our lives," Starburst said. There was not much she could do for this doe in these particular circumstances. "And maybe a zikwa will find you."

Tiarana

(I volunteer my zikwas as tribute!)

 

[Tiarana]

"Maybe," Hollyhock allowed. She smiled ruefully. "But it seems I am always waiting."

Amorpheous

haha, sure