[PRP]You're more than your looks (Flawed x U. Shadows) [FIN]

[Lirilei]

So many of the kin where he was currently living were so kind to him, and yet others not so much and it was these others that had Flawed stepping out of the cave in need of fresh air, and quiet.

He told himself solitude it what was needed as he shook off the water he'd just swum through and plodded away from cave and water both, to lose himself in other parts of swamp for awhile. Of course as he walked, he was only being harsh on himself.

"If y-you'd been sm-smarter when younger y-you wouldn't be so scarred up. W-w-wouldn't scare others.... disgust them it's n-n-n-o wonder they can't look at you. So many scars....so ugly."

His words were bitter, biting, and harsh as he looked down at himself in a pool of standing water before he stamped through it both angry, and deeply dejected head falling towards the ground with a sad sigh.

It was days like this that made it hard to want to go back to the cave where he stayed with Echo and Cave Yell. It made it hard to want to be around any other kin at all, but it made it hard to be around himself all alone too. He just couldn't win.  

[Aria Starstone]

Unexpected Shadows approached the area where her adopted sister resided. She was pondering a visit, but wasn't sure she should drop in, with no warning at all. She paused, thinking, when she heard a voice speaking nearby. She froze, waiting to see if she knew the speaker, if they sounded dangerous, or what.

What she heard made her feel upset, instead. Not upset at them, but upset for them. She frowned deeply and turned, quietly, towards the speaker, unable to turn away fro the anger and pain in that voice. She moved after them and finally stood in the shadow of a tree, looking at a mostly brown buck with blues and golds on him. She watched him, trying to decide how to approach him, then she spoke up, softly. "Hello there... You seem very alone right now." She moved into the light, her extremely bright body fully visible now. "Would you care for some company?" She caught his eye with care, and met it steadily, making it as clear as she could she didn't find him disgusting, ugly, or otherwise.  

[Lirilei]

He was so involved in his self hatred at that moment, that he hadn't heard the doe coming up near him which was impressive. He was usually very in touch with what was going on around him, so no one could sneak up on him.

Needless to say, Flawed was startled beyond belief at the voice, and he looked up, and stopped completely frozen. He'd never seen a doe so extraordinarily colored and she took his breath away. She was so bright and pretty, and happy looking. Her looks were the complete opposite of his internal emotions and conflict.

The fact she wasn't turning away and was instead staring at him intently had him ducking his head and turning away from her a little. The question on company though, that was another thing he was surprised by and he looked up at her again. "C-company...?" a soft, curious note from him.  

[Aria Starstone]

"Yes, company... No one should be alone, unless they TRULY enjoy solitude... But I've rarely met anyone who falls in that category." She tilted her head, her fluffy tail sliding side to side as she considered the buck. She took in his scars, but also his golden markings, his golden eyes, and his pretty dark blue hair. All of these things were very lovely, but in her eyes, she found his scars the loveliest... For they showed her the strength to survive terrible pain, and the will to go on despite being marked by it.

She smiled at him, with warmth and as much gentleness as she could. The earlier statement she'd overheard, the way he stuttered, and even the slight stutter on the word company, made her suspect she should be careful with this buck. The earlier words, in fact, convinced her he couldn't see what she saw. But she knew better then to say that, here and now. She was a stranger, after all. And on that note... "I am Unexpected Shadows."  

[Lirilei]

He blinked at her a moment, as if trying to weigh her words, and maybe in a way he was. Did he enjoy being alone? Not usually. Only when it was after a rather rough day Sort of like today, though the alone part of it all, wasn't really helping matter he realized.

"S...sometimes alone is good... n...n...not always but sometimes."

The smile he gave at her name was awkward and unsure, and he ducked his head a little mumbling his name. Which he realized wouldn't come across as anything more than a garbled mumble. "m...m'name...is...is Flawed." which said it all to him really. He was flawed physically, and emotionally, and just.... yeah he was nothing but flawed. His name was far too fitting.  

[Aria Starstone]

She nodded, slowly, at his comment about being alone. "Yes, this is true, I suppose... But often, I've seen folk go off to be alone because they think it's a way to find relief from stress or upset, and instead all they can do is stew on it, unrelentingly." She shrugged, and sighed. "And then they hurt inside. Of course, some go and find peace, and beauty too. So it all depends on what you do and seek when you go to be alone."

She smiled a little at his name. "Flawed. It is an honor to meet you. You have a strong name." She tapped a hoof, her eyes moving to gaze at a nearby flower for a moment, before looking back to him. "A name that says 'I, like all things, am flawed. And I have the strength to admit it, rather then try to hide it behind a mask.' I like it." She smiled more, a friendly and kind smile.  

[Lirilei]

It felt like she was talking about him in her comments, and he ducked his head a little, staring at the ground silently for a long moment. It was true though, he had been stuck on what had happened back at the cave, and he was hurting inside. That was an almost constant though. He'd been so busy brooding, he'd paid little attention to his surroundings.

The assessment of his name though, it made his head lift, and there was a quietly stunned expression on his face. "Y...you really think that?" voice quiet awe and he took a cautious half step toward her. He looked away a brief moment. "M...most don't care...how I got hurt... blame...blame it on me being stupid....and deserving. I was so young...and I was s...simply wrong place...wrong time." he breathed in and out slowly.

It felt like so few took the time to get to know him, so quick to judge on his scars that this was unusual territory for him! Someone not turning away in disgust on first meeting in broad daylight was not the norm.  

[Aria Starstone]

She watched his quiet thoughtful moment, her tail slowly switching back and forth. She wondered what was on his mind, and what had occurred that had brought him here, so unhappy, today. But she wasn't going to try to force him to speak on it. He could tell her what she wanted.

When he replied, she had to control the urge to have her ears go back in fury. Not at him, but at those others, cruel and unkind, who treated him so badly. She disliked those who judged others based on spurious nonsense. "I do think that. I know it, even." Her lips twisted in distaste as she continued. "As some one who has been told I am too bright, too obvious, I do not believe that most are wise or caring enough to deserve the chance to spread their malicious opinions around so easily."

She moved a little closer to him, looking at his scars, and said, in a sad voice, "I am sorry you were hurt, for no one deserves that misfortune..." And then her tone switched to conviction again. "But you were strong enough to survive, strong enough to not let it destroy you. You deserve admiration for that. There is beauty in one's scars, for they are the marks of surviving what others can't bear."  

[Lirilei]

He looked up at her in surprise at those words. Too bright? How could anyone call her too bright? That made no sense to him! He thought she was probably one of the prettiest does he'd ever seen, her bright colors were eye catching. He supposed he could understand why some might not care for them, but her coloring felt happy to him. Helped to chase away some of the gloom he felt.

"T-too bright...is silly. You look nice. I l-like your colors. Makes...me feel a little happier..." he spoke softly, shyly, a smile on his face. It was true though!

Her coming so close though had him leaning away in surprise, though he didn't actually move far, just surprised more than anything. "O-only lived....thanks.....thanks to being looked after." words soft as he thought about Keeper, who'd taken care of him when he was too hurt to do much of anything. Who he'd run away from when he'd gotten just barely strong enough to leave, because of the guilt eating away at him.

Still her words, they chased away some of the upset he'd been feeling from the incident back at the cave, and he gave her another shy smile, though this one was considerably happier. "That's.....I-I'll have to remember that. Th-thank you..." and he really would do his best to remember that, but it was one of those things that would take a little longer to put into practice. Easier said than done.

He breathed in and out slowly a few times. "It's...it's..n-nice... not being t-turned away from I m-mean. So few...accept me... less...tolerate me..." words murmured softly. So to find someone who could accept him, well that was a rare thing. "I'm glad....I came out today...I m-might have wanted to be alone...but...but I think m-meeting you....much better than being upset." he tripped over his words, not sure just how to voice what it was going through his mind, how it felt to possibly have made a friend and all. Sure he had Echo and Cave Yell, but really, friends were rare, and welcomed.  

[Aria Starstone]

She saw the surprise on his face, and waited to see what he might say. It was, she knew, a strange thing but... she'd heard it, so what could she say?

"I have learned to look past what others think of my colors, my brightness, when they think negatively. Their opinions are like whispers on the wind... I may hear them, but they pass over me, with no real effect. I have come to love my colors. But I am glad to hear you say that." Her face brightened in a smile of happiness. "Making another happier is always a good thing."

When he leaned away from her, she stepped back again, not intending to crowd him or make him uncomfortable. Better to give room, and let him approach if he wanted to do so at this point. His words caused her to arch her brows. "Did the one who cared for you find you immediately, or did you survive until they did? How did they come to be caring for you? But more to the point... I was speaking more of the strength to survive in the sense of not... giving in to the pain of knowing, to keep going despite seeing what your mind told you was a flaw."

His next smile warmed her inside, for she was glad to see happiness. "I am glad if my words will help you." She paused, then added "It takes time to take such things to heart enough that they are instinctive. I suggest... using them like a mantra. Just bring them to mind, repeat them to yourself, over and over, especially when others wish to hurt you with their words, until it becomes instinct." She sighed, a slightly sad sound. "Behaviors, sadly, are the hardest thing to change about ourselves."

She leaned a bit, and gently bumped him with her nose, a friendly act, nothing more. "As long as you aren't intentionally harming others, trying to destroy their own belief in themselves, the beauty they represent, I will always accept you. No one deserves to be treated that way... And we all deserve people who care for us." His stuttering and nerves made her want to cuddle up to him... In a comforting way, only, of course. But she held herself back, because she didn't want to risk that he was one who found too much physical contact upsetting or uncomfortable. The nose bump had been risky enough, for now. "I am glad to have met you, as well. A new friend is infinitely valuable."  

[Lirilei]

He listened to her words quietly, thoughtfully, and gave a small nod of his head. It was nice to see others could let such words and problems pass by without much effect, he just wasn't that way, as much as he wished he was! "I...I wish I could be...more like y-you in that way." would be really nice.

"I...I had been on my own to begin with... th...the tribe took me in...and it was while there....th-that the bear attacked." he didn't know all the details of things, he'd just been fortunate Keeper had found him again when he had, else he would have died from his wounds.

Her advice was sound and he found it good advice, and he breathed a soft note wondering if he could be like her. Maybe, with time. "C-can't hurt t-t-try..." well really. Trying never hurt, so he could do that. Didn't mean he'd get very far but he could attempt it.

His eyes went wide in shock and he shook his head back and forth. That wasn't how he was, he'd never treat another in that way! The nose bump was surprising but he gave a soft laugh. "F-friends...are nice yes. I'm glad....t-to have a new one."  

[Aria Starstone]

She gave him a smile of understanding. "I wasn't, always, like this. It takes time to learn to think this way, and a lot of self-reinforcement. It helps to have outside reinforcement, too. I was lucky, I had my parents. They... helped me, especially my father, find my way, and now... well, in many ways this is what I dedicate my life to doing... Finding beauty in the world, and helping others find beauty in themselves, especially when the world has them convinced it isn't there." She shook her head in sadness. "Far too many find themselves unable to see what they hold within, and it is a shame. I believe we all have a beauty inside, if we only seek it and nurture it."

Her eyes went sad at his words. "I am sorry to hear that. It is hard, sometimes, to predict the actions of the wilder beasts of our lands. I am, however, glad you survived."

"It truly can't hurt... and it could help. Just remember that it takes time. It is no instant answer, it won't be fast... Thought patterns are a battle to change but it is worth that battle, and it can be done. You just have to stick to it. I believe in you, and that you can do it."

She laughed at his wide eyed expression. "Wasn't suggesting you would do that, silly! I'm just saying that's the sort of behaviour I don't accept from anyone." She then gave him a smile, happily. "So. Given you came out here to be alone, but you don't look like you've traveled far... do you live nearby?"  

[Lirilei]

Flawed gave a smile at her words. "The way you think now, is a good way." oh it was indeed, honestly. The mention of a father, made him quieter, thinking of Keeper. The older buck had been like a father to him, and he missed him quite often. But it was for the best he'd left.

Her upbeat, positive attitude felt soothing to his frayed nerves, and he felt himself relaxing more, and more. It was a good thing she'd run across him honestly.The MotherFather worked in mysterious ways though, he knew.

Her question made him nod a little. "Sort of." he'd been drenched until shortly before she found him. He explained to her, vaguely, about the area he was living with Echo and Cave Yell, and the rest of their group. It might be home now, but others at times made him feel like an unwelcome outsider. Not always, but days like today, weren't as infrequent as he would have liked.

Lady Aria Starstone

 

[Aria Starstone]

"It is worth working to find a positive thought pattern. It will bring the heart more joy, and you will find less pain in yourself. Remember, you are what should matter most to you. What others think... is of minimal importance at best."

She listened to his explanation, and couldn't help but laugh, in happy amusement. "Echo? She is my adoptive half sister! You live with my family!" She paused, realizing that statement sounded odd, especially since she made no mention of Cave Yell in it. "My mother, Streams of Silver, found and raised Echo, you see. We consider her, in a way, of the tribe, but rather then one who travels with us, she holds down one of our stopping points. It is her home, first and foremost, of course, but she is important to us." She beamed at him, and nodded. "I am glad to hear that, for it means I will see you again, my friend, after today!"

Lirilei

 

[Lirilei]

Her words, touched him in a good way, and he gave a warm smile. It was definitely good advice, advice he'd want to keep close to the heart, and recall on the days he had a little more difficulty with things than others. Maybe, keeping that in mind and taking it to heart, would help him to grow and move on in ways he needed.

Finding out that the doe in front of him was family to the twins was a surprise, and he took a half step back in said surprise, a laugh given. "Really? I had no idea. There's still a lot I'm learning though, still that will be something interesting I can tell her when I get back." he sounded happier than he had when they first started talking. The word 'friend' struck him, and he breathed out a soft note. Friend was a nice word. "I look forward to seeing you there then. I don't have plans to leave for any length of time, so seeing one another again shouldn't be an issue." it was nice to realize he had a friend!

Aria Starstone