[FIN] Deep Breaths

[BlackFireKitsune]

After lying in the blanket fort with Isaac cuddled up against his chest for an hour or two, Abel finally abandoned all hope of sleep - not that he expected to sleep anyway - and got up to change, make coffee, shove a little bit of food into his face, grab a thick hoodie to wear and then head out with Isaac and Amigo in tow. Caleb greeted them with a yawn once he'd been releases from his pokeball, and for once he spared them his usual grumpy attitude and carried them through Camphoreon's still-sleepy streets to the hospital.

Abel arrived in the ICU promptly when visitor hours began. Once more he left Isaac waiting out in the main area while he took Amigo into Zevran's room so they could sit and talk to him, let him know they were there, reassure him -- and wait.  

[TawnyAngel]

He hadn't slept at all well and giving up on the whole idea had been a bit of a relief. Tonight he'd be able to tell his friend more and so he'd sleep better, so long as the news was good and it should be good. The injuries were bad but he was a good surgeon and the team in the ICU were beyond reproach, the patient had the best chance possible.

It was a little past ten in the morning when Dith walked, yawning, into the ICU and greeted the attending with a nod. "Karin, you still alive?"

"Until further notice, Dima!"

"Ah, well let me know. Friday, cards?"

"Cards, I'll get back what you took from me last time."

"Ahhh, we shall see. We shall see." Dith waved his travel cup at her as he passed, and as he passed his smile faded. There was Abel. He sighed, and then he tapped on the door. Here in an unofficial capacity as he was he didn't go on to open it, he was only here if Abel wanted him.

While he waited - and in only a moment - he took in the figure in the bed and the monitors around it; he was too far away to read the detail of some but all of the patterns looked stable, not improved from last night but not deteriorated either.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

It had been some number of hours, he knew, but he wasn't really aware of how many. His phone had been shut off and stowed in his pocket since six in the morning, and if he'd passed by a clock or if the room itself contained one, he'd taken no notice of it. It was a little difficult to take notice of much else with his love so weak and swimming in tubes and equipment as he was. But at least he could pass the time with Amigo, and talking to Zev and touching his hands and his face - both of which he did plenty - to reassure him and keep him company. He still wasn't entirely sure if it helped his boyfriend at all, but he wasn't about to even consider stopping just in case it did help him to some small degree.

The knock on the door drew his attention and he turned in his chair to look at whoever it was... Oh, Dith. Abel aimed a small, weary smile and a wave at his friend, his exhaustion and lack of sleep written plainly all over his face but somehow he was still upright and awake.  

[TawnyAngel]

Dith smiled and entered with a second cup, this one disposable, raised. He wasn't going to tell Abel that it was decaf, almost nobody could tell the difference unless forewarned. "Good morning to you Abel, and to Mister X. The junior doctors are very excited by him Abel, I gather from Karin - Dr. Chakwas - that half of her young team think he is a secret agent. When there's no last name given you can count on an exciting career. But, anyway;" Dith held the cup of decaf out to Abel, "I hope this coffee will be alright. How do you feel today?" Now that he was closer, and had a free hand, Dith gestured to the machines and said; "He looks good, under the circumstances." It was a very relative sort of good but for somebody who'd come in with pneumothorax, hypovolemia, and all that jazz the readings were solid.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

At first the 'Mister X' bit confused him but Dith explained in short order; despite the events of the previous evening and the anxious fear of the one before that, Abel couldn't help but laugh briefly. "Do they really? He'd love to hear that, I'm sure. And I'm sure he'd be able to tell them plenty of stories once he wakes up, he's very creative." No need to tell Dith that some of that creativity stemmed from actual experiences of course.

"Mmh, and good morning to you too," he added after a moment, lest he forget, then accepted the cup gratefully with both hands. Coffee. "Thank you. It's coffee, so that makes it wonderful. I'm.. uh... well, I'm here," he replied with a small shrug. He could've pretended that he was fine but they both knew the current state of his boyfriend; to claim he was fine would've been a bold-faced lie at best and downright horrifically rude and thoughtless at worst. "I didn't really.. sleep much. Or at all, actually, but," he shrugged again and took a small sip of coffee. Mmmmh, coffee. Once he did so he turned to look over at the monitors not for the first time that morning, again noting that they'd more or less remained the same. It might or might not have meant improvement, but it definitely wasn't anything bad, and for that he was thankful. "Yeah, I think so too, though I admit I don't know anything about almost any of the equipment or what's on the monitors. How about you? How're you feeling?"  

[TawnyAngel]

"Me?" Dith looked baffled for a moment, but then a moment on he chuckled and shrugged. "I don't mean to sound cold but it's another day at work, or it will be in a while. I'm used to this sort of thing. I start work at twelve officially but there's always so much to do before starting... but I came in early to see the two of you," he nodded at Zevran, "used to it or not, when people you know are like this you want to be around." Nothing he could do, but he felt better for having seen the monitors with his own eye.

After a few moments Dith glanced out of the room at the attending in charge and then back to Abel. "I'm guessing you've not eaten much as well as not sleeping? I've not had breakfast, so shall we go to the canteen? If Dr Chakwas hasn't asked you out yet she will soon." Sheets and other things would need to be changed, there were wounds to clean, drugs to give, and young doctors to talk around all of it.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Another day at work... Yes, that's how it was, wasn't it? It didn't always feel like it sometimes, but it probably was for him. "Mmh, that's fair," he said, his gaze drifting back to the silent figure on the bed. "I understand that feeling very well." He'd been more and more anxious the longer he'd spent away, but once he could see for himself that nothing bad had happened and Zevran's condition hadn't worsened, the anxiety kind of reached a plateau and had since slowly declined into a quiet resignation that this was the way things would be for the time being.

The thought of leaving him again, however, promptly brought that anxiety back. "Ah, I had a little bit to eat before I left this morning, but it.. wasn't much," he admitted with a sheepish expression on his tired face. "She hasn't yet, no, but I... suppose so. I'm sure he'd want me to eat, anyway. Wouldn't you?" He asked, aiming a fond look at his unconscious boyfriend. The blond gave Zevran's hand one more squeeze before standing up and stretching; his back protested with a few pops. He didn't expect Zev to answer, of course, but he already knew what he'd say regardless. "Yeah, I know you would. Mmh, alright, we'll be back later. C'mon Amigo," he gestured for the Butterfree to join him, "let's go get something to eat so he doesn't worry about us, yeah? We don't want him to be the one worrying about anything right now."  

[TawnyAngel]

"Da," Dith gave a crooked smile and clapped a hand to Abel's shoulder. "I am sure he would, and if you don't we'll tell on you when we bring him around."

Dith took the lethargic trill from the Butterfree as a forced laugh and glanced over at him as well. "You too! They have berries and such so don't think you can get out of it."

As they stepped out of the room - a nurse stepped in as they left - Dith flagged down Dr. Chakwas with a wave and met her half way between the room and the desk. "I'm just taking Abel to get some food, if you're taking the chance to do some work when can he be back?"

Chakwas glanced up at the clock on the wall and made a thoughtful noise. "Well my shift finishes at twelve," she rubbed her face, her tired expression said that there was much that had happened hitherto and much she still expected before then, "so come back then and I'll introduce you to my fellow attending Dr. Solus, he'll be on for the next twelve hours after me. He's a good doctor, don't mind his tendency to turn life into minor musical theatre."

Dith shrugged at Abel; "I've often said we should film our lives here as some kind of TV serial."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Were he in better spirits and had more energy Abel might've feigned a dramatic response to Dith's playful threat; as it was he was not and did not, so he merely smiled quietly and followed along, his coffee in one hand and the other offering Amigo a gentle pat.

Similarly he waited while the two doctors talked briefly, quietly sipping his coffee, and at the mention of times he followed Dr. Chakwas' gaze up to the clock on the wall. Huh, it was ten already? And they couldn't come back until twelve -- another two hours... Hm. What would they two for two hours? They wouldn't stay in the canteen that long, would they? Oh well, they'd just need to find somewhere to sit for a while, he supposed, and really that wouldn't be that bad...

Dith's statement earned a very brief, tired chuckle, but his coworker received a grateful smile, no less warm for how weary it was. "Alright, twelve then. And he sounds like fun," he added before a thoughtful frown replaced the smile. "D'you guys always work twelve hour shifts?"  

[TawnyAngel]

"He's good," Dith confirmed with a small smile as he gestured to indicate they should set off. "Shift lengths vary but twelve is fairly standard for people like me and Karin- Dr. Chakwas; some days you may work more or less... More likely more. There are rules that regulate hours for residents - eighty hours weekly, at least ten hours off between shifts, twenty four hours maximum shift length, a few others - and though there aren't any regulations for attendings we try to stick to the same. 'Try' is the key word here! When things are busy or we are short-handed though - especially if there's no other attending available in your field - you cannot just punch out and go home because you've tipped over to eighty one hours." Dith chuckled softly and shook his head. "I should have gone into dermatology or cosmetic surgery; I would have more time, fewer grey hairs!" Talking of hours seemed like petty smalltalk at a time like this but sometimes that was helpful, just a few moments to think of something else... Or at least to think a little less of other things, he didn't expect the situation to just vanish out of Abel's head.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Abel was more than content to follow Dith's lead; it meant he didn't need to think about where he was going or if he'd get lost or not, and instead he could focus on the conversation, or just not focus on much of anything at all. The former was difficult with how exhausted he was, but hopefully the coffee would help wake him up a bit more, or give him a little more energy so he'd feel vaguely human again. With that thought in mind, he took another sip of his coffee. He had yet to realize it was decaf.

When they passed by the desk Isaac stood up, carefully hopped down to the floor again and trotted along at Abel's heels. "Man... And here I thought working a fifty or sixty hour week was rough," he admitted with a tinge of rueful humor in his voice. "That sounds exhausting, I don't know how you guys do it, not when you have to deal with," he gestured vaguely with his cup - all the sadness, the deaths, the stress, the everything negative they surely had to deal with on a daily basis - as if so doing would get his point across, "everything. I wouldn't be able to do it."  

[TawnyAngel]

Dith shrugged but then nodded agreement, it was just the way things were but Abel was right. "It is pretty exhausting at times, it's a a life as much as it is a job. Some people - a lot of people - juggle it all with having kids too, I will never understand how they cope." Possibly by being less than perfect parents but he liked a lot of his colleagues who had kids so it wasn't something he'd ever say even if he wondered it sometimes. If you had kids being around for them should be your top priority, that was how he felt anyway. "It definitely has its difficult parts, and it's not for everyone, but I can't imagine doing anything else." You saw things you couldn't forget but it was worth it when you were able to put somebody back together who really had no business surviving.

"Just down this next hall," Dith added with a gesture to the one he meant. "It'll be breakfast foods mostly right now but you can get sandwiches and soup any time. Usually baked potatoes too." Perhaps he should steer Abel towards the soup, easy to eat and decently healthy most of the time.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

A life as much as a job... With working almost - or more than - eighty hours a week, he had to wonder if doctors spent more time in a hospital than where they actually lived. How many hours were in a week, anyway? ...that was math that he didn't really feel up for doing so he set the curiosity aside. "Man," he repeated with a huff of a breath, "I don't know how they do it. I really don't. Mmh, I appreciate everyone that does it though -- you too," he added as one hand lifted to idly rub at the scars over his chest a little.

His gaze followed Dith's gesture, and Abel did his best to commit the turn to memory. At the moment he wasn't really too sure he'd succeed. "I feel like food's something I should really want right now," he noted aloud, then failed to add anything else... like the fact that he was not feeling up for eating anything, even though he knew he should. Oh well.  

[TawnyAngel]

Dith smiled and clapped Abel on the shoulder, but carefully so that he wouldn't knock him over or anything. "I'm glad I've been able to help." He didn't miss the way Abel's hand moved to his chest; twice in the last... Year? Eighteen months? Two years? Well twice recently Abel had been hospitalized due to supposedly random violence and now his boyfriend... It wasn't his job to turn detective but he would be naive to think that this was all merely bad luck.

"But, no, I wouldn't expect you to want it," Dith continued as they entered the canteen; it smelled amazing to him and it wasn't too busy which was always good. "Soup is an easy option... looks like they have mixed vegetable today. The eggs and bacon here are good if you're feeling up to that though, you could probably use the calories."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"Me too," Abel agreed with a small smile. Had Dith been one of the ones operating on Zevran the night before? It sounded like it, but so many things had happened and he hadn't slept yet, and he really wasn't quite sure. He probably did. Abel wanted to think he did.

At least Dith didn't expect him to want to eat. Did that mean he also didn't expect him to eat much? He hoped so, because he didn't want to eat at all. Not that he just wouldn't eat anything though, of course; no, Zevran would want him to eat, and plus he knew he had to at least eat something, much as he didn't want anything. "Mmh, probably could. I'll be fine with just about anything, honestly," he said, shrugging a bit as he took another sip of his coffee. If left to his own devices he'd probably pick... something, something small, but if Dith wanted to choose for him it saved him the trouble of thinking when at the moment thinking felt like trying to swim through sludge.