Character Profile Review Center

[Shadow of Miracles]

Hello and welcome to the Review Center where your profiles will be looked over for approval. In an effort to avoid cluttering a player's profile page with comments and reviews we have created this topic where we can clutter all we want!

Now in order to make this experience successful for everyone we'd like to ask all our members to be respectful with the person reviewing your profile. If we do ask for changes to be made please understand that it is done in order to maintain balance in the guild. Anyone caught being disrespectful or inappropriate with the reviewers will be held responsibly and proper attack will be taken so please remember to always be respectful! The people authorized to review profiles are selected VC members which will be posted below (this list may change or be updated over time):

- Shadow of Miracles
- Xx_Yume_Shinkirou_xx
- Prairiefox
- SpazzticPanda

 

[Shadow of Miracles]

Reserved  

[Shadow of Miracles]

Reserved  

[Shadow of Miracles]

DragonFang009

Thank you very much for your patience with us! We can finally begin your character profile review for Year 2 of Ordell Academy 3nodding we will be using this topic to communicate so please make sure to quote me when you post here.

Okay so I want to start out by saying that Brian is a great character and that you've done a pretty good job in balancing him out between his strengths and weaknesses. However, there are some things that stood out that will require some tuning.

Special Powers (?): Okay so you mention he's an empath which basically means he has psychic powers. The Pokemon world isn't a stranger to trainers with psychic powers with Sabrina being the most notable, but I can't just immediately accept this because otherwise we would have nearly all members wanting their characters to posses some kind of power or another. It is also pretty random how he has this power when there's no mention of his family having some kind of psychic background. I'm going to need a little more convincing for why he should have this power besides "just cause" so I'll give you the opportunity to try and explain to me why him having this power would be good for him otherwise you will need to remove this trait from his strengths section.

Breeder knowledge: now this is more for the sake of making it clear that even though Brian has some experience with pokemon, he is still learning. From the way his knowledge about Pokemon reads it sounds like he knows a lot even though he's still young. i just want to make sure that you're aware that we can't have a character coming to the academy as an expert since that would defeat the purpose of the academy. So I would like for you to mention on his strengths and biography section that he is still learning about Pokemon breeding and care taking.

Pokemon: I do apologize this wasn't fixed, but at this time new players are only starting out with one Pokemon so you gotta choose only one Pokemon (you have 3).

Inventory Items: You've given your character a lot of key items that we haven't approved of. The academy will be providing students with technology for them to use so please remove the PokeSketch and Pokenav from his key items. This also includes the berries, we will distribute items appropriately, but you can't have your character coming in already havin items. You can list stuff like a Sketchbook or notebook, but not consumable items. So please remove all items you've listed in the inventory until we have appropriately given your character items to carry

Lastly I would like for you to create a new profile topic so that we can fix up the look of your profile. The topic you are currently using has the old profile layout mixed with the new profile layout so things are looking a little messy. Please create a new topic and move your character profile there 3nodding

Alright! So this was my review, please read over each point carefully and if you have any questions then quote me and I will answer back. Once you have made all the changes I pointed out then quote me again so that I can review them and give my approval if everything is in order 3nodding  

[Shadow of Miracles]

vneondreamsv

Thank you for your patience and I'm excited to get started on this profile review ^^ this thread was created specifically for profile reviews so please make sure to reply here and to always quote so I'm aware you've replied.

Alright so let's begin! Akasha sounds like a fun character and I'm looking forward to see how she'll develop during her time in Ordell. Her personality is very interesting and her profile looks great, but there are some things I'll be pointing out that will require a little more explanation/tuning.

Age: This is a change that we'll be making to the rules, but depending on which year your character will start the academy will determine their age. First Year students are 11 years old and Second Year students are 12 years old. Therefore please decide whether Akasha will be a First Year student or Second Year student and then change her age accordingly.

Alchemy: Okay here is where I have the most questions. What is Alchemy and what does it do in the Pokemon World? I need to know what you are referring to when you say that she "dabbles in alchemy." It just seems a little too broad and I need more specifics on this before I can approve it (IF I'll approve it). The part about her being able to tell fortunes and read tarot cards is pretty neat and creative so I'm not going to mess with that, but I definitely need to get more information on this Alchemy ability and also what you mean when you mention that it was "inherited from her grandfather."

Pokemon/Missing Information: I noticed that there sections missing on your profile which are "Pokemon Team" and "Inventory". I understand that this was probably done on purpose, but please do not forget to include these sections. Now regarding the Pokemon Team section, you have the option of choosing your own Pokemon to bring or you can randomized a starter Pokemon HERE. I would like to know which one will you be choosing to do?

Well this is everything that needed reviewing 3nodding as I mentioned, Akasha sounds like a fun character and her personality and traits are all well worked out. Please look over what I mention and quote me once you've posted your respond. Once I have received the answers to the questions I asked, then we'll take a look at your profile again for further review ^^  

[DragonFang099]

Shadow of Miracles

I want to thank you for taking the time to look over Brian's profile, and I appreciate the feedback. I went ahead and moved his profile to a new thread, as requested, as well as changing some things as far as his bio. I also removed the requested items, and added a sketch pad and notebook. If you would kindly review his profile again and let me know if anything else needs to be edited or removed, it would be greatly appreciated.  

[vneondreamsv]

Shadow of Miracles

vneondreamsv

Thank you for your patience and I'm excited to get started on this profile review ^^ this thread was created specifically for profile reviews so please make sure to reply here and to always quote so I'm aware you've replied.

Alright so let's begin! Akasha sounds like a fun character and I'm looking forward to see how she'll develop during her time in Ordell. Her personality is very interesting and her profile looks great, but there are some things I'll be pointing out that will require a little more explanation/tuning.

Age: This is a change that we'll be making to the rules, but depending on which year your character will start the academy will determine their age. First Year students are 11 years old and Second Year students are 12 years old. Therefore please decide whether Akasha will be a First Year student or Second Year student and then change her age accordingly.

Alchemy: Okay here is where I have the most questions. What is Alchemy and what does it do in the Pokemon World? I need to know what you are referring to when you say that she "dabbles in alchemy." It just seems a little too broad and I need more specifics on this before I can approve it (IF I'll approve it). The part about her being able to tell fortunes and read tarot cards is pretty neat and creative so I'm not going to mess with that, but I definitely need to get more information on this Alchemy ability and also what you mean when you mention that it was "inherited from her grandfather."

Pokemon/Missing Information: I noticed that there sections missing on your profile which are "Pokemon Team" and "Inventory". I understand that this was probably done on purpose, but please do not forget to include these sections. Now regarding the Pokemon Team section, you have the option of choosing your own Pokemon to bring or you can randomized a starter Pokemon HERE. I would like to know which one will you be choosing to do?

Well this is everything that needed reviewing 3nodding as I mentioned, Akasha sounds like a fun character and her personality and traits are all well worked out. Please look over what I mention and quote me once you've posted your respond. Once I have received the answers to the questions I asked, then we'll take a look at your profile again for further review ^^

Okay so for alchemy I was thinking of traditional witch practice. The combination of elements and herbs for things such as medicines, rituals, and charms etc. If this isnt acceptable thats totally fine biggrin

o_____o Thats weird I dont remember deleting anything to do with pokemon or inventory (( O H wow I just re checked the profile page and saw it- Im so sorry I didnt even realize it was there last time))

https://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=25267709#383394955

I have updated the missing parts !  

[Shadow of Miracles]

DragonFang099

Shadow of Miracles

I want to thank you for taking the time to look over Brian's profile, and I appreciate the feedback. I went ahead and moved his profile to a new thread, as requested, as well as changing some things as far as his bio. I also removed the requested items, and added a sketch pad and notebook. If you would kindly review his profile again and let me know if anything else needs to be edited or removed, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you very much for making all the changes! I've read the profile again and everything looks great 3nodding

I did notice that you included Brian's grandfather in his biography to try and give some reasoning behind his psychic powers. I have heavily debated this, but unfortunately I cannot allow your character to have this power.

The idea itself is pretty harmless, but at the same time its too much power for one person to have. Feeling someone's emotions can give you a lot of information about the person and even provide someone with the ability to manipulate situations to their favor because in a sense they'll always know what the person is thinking by the emotions they feel coming from them.

So this is my final decision, you must remove all mentions of psychic powers or being able to sense emotions. This includes his grandfather having that power as well. Please remove that from your profile and once you do quote me and I will approve your profile 3nodding

I must also mention that you still included a "Poke Ball" as part of your inventory. I have gone ahead and removed that item from your list, Pokeballs will be given to the students in the new academy year so no one may already have a Pokeball (except for the returning students).

Thank you once again and I look forward to approving this profile ^^  

[Shadow of Miracles]

vneondreamsv

Shadow of Miracles

vneondreamsv

Thank you for your patience and I'm excited to get started on this profile review ^^ this thread was created specifically for profile reviews so please make sure to reply here and to always quote so I'm aware you've replied.

Alright so let's begin! Akasha sounds like a fun character and I'm looking forward to see how she'll develop during her time in Ordell. Her personality is very interesting and her profile looks great, but there are some things I'll be pointing out that will require a little more explanation/tuning.

Age: This is a change that we'll be making to the rules, but depending on which year your character will start the academy will determine their age. First Year students are 11 years old and Second Year students are 12 years old. Therefore please decide whether Akasha will be a First Year student or Second Year student and then change her age accordingly.

Alchemy: Okay here is where I have the most questions. What is Alchemy and what does it do in the Pokemon World? I need to know what you are referring to when you say that she "dabbles in alchemy." It just seems a little too broad and I need more specifics on this before I can approve it (IF I'll approve it). The part about her being able to tell fortunes and read tarot cards is pretty neat and creative so I'm not going to mess with that, but I definitely need to get more information on this Alchemy ability and also what you mean when you mention that it was "inherited from her grandfather."

Pokemon/Missing Information: I noticed that there sections missing on your profile which are "Pokemon Team" and "Inventory". I understand that this was probably done on purpose, but please do not forget to include these sections. Now regarding the Pokemon Team section, you have the option of choosing your own Pokemon to bring or you can randomized a starter Pokemon HERE. I would like to know which one will you be choosing to do?

Well this is everything that needed reviewing 3nodding as I mentioned, Akasha sounds like a fun character and her personality and traits are all well worked out. Please look over what I mention and quote me once you've posted your respond. Once I have received the answers to the questions I asked, then we'll take a look at your profile again for further review ^^

Okay so for alchemy I was thinking of traditional witch practice. The combination of elements and herbs for things such as medicines, rituals, and charms etc. If this isnt acceptable thats totally fine biggrin

o_____o Thats weird I dont remember deleting anything to do with pokemon or inventory (( O H wow I just re checked the profile page and saw it- Im so sorry I didnt even realize it was there last time))

https://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=25267709#383394955

I have updated the missing parts !

Thank you for making the changes I requested and answering my question ^^ lets get this new review under way!

Okay so for the alchemy topic, I think its best if the word "alchemy" is removed since it doesn't really sound like its alchemy if all she's doing is creating charms and herbal medicine. What I would like for you to do is to remove the mention of Alchemy and instead replace it the explanation you provided me: that she likes to make medicine using herbs and she creates her own charms. Seeing as her grandfather is a spiritualist, its more believable to say that she enjoys making charms than to say she's practicing witch craft. She sounds very similar to the trainer class of Hex Maniac which I think is really cool 3nodding

So basically what I'm saying is to remove the mention of alchemy and to replace it with making medicine and charms. You can mention that she likes reading about hexes if you'd like.

Also I saw that you added the pokemon and inventory sections which is great! But you're going to need to make some changes sweatdrop

1) Pokemon: Because she's starting as a Y1 student her Pokemon's starting level is 5 (you have her with a lvl 12 gastly) so please change the level as well as the moves accordingly.
2) Inventory: You've added extra items to her inventory. Right now, all new students will have their inventory empty except for the PokeGear. You've added Pokeballs, Potions, and an Escape Rope. Please remove these items, the academy will be providing students with items so you do not need to worry.

Alright ^^ please make these changes and quote me once you're done and we can get this profile approved and ready!  

[DragonFang099]

Shadow of Miracles

DragonFang099

Shadow of Miracles

I want to thank you for taking the time to look over Brian's profile, and I appreciate the feedback. I went ahead and moved his profile to a new thread, as requested, as well as changing some things as far as his bio. I also removed the requested items, and added a sketch pad and notebook. If you would kindly review his profile again and let me know if anything else needs to be edited or removed, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you very much for making all the changes! I've read the profile again and everything looks great 3nodding

I did notice that you included Brian's grandfather in his biography to try and give some reasoning behind his psychic powers. I have heavily debated this, but unfortunately I cannot allow your character to have this power.

The idea itself is pretty harmless, but at the same time its too much power for one person to have. Feeling someone's emotions can give you a lot of information about the person and even provide someone with the ability to manipulate situations to their favor because in a sense they'll always know what the person is thinking by the emotions they feel coming from them.

So this is my final decision, you must remove all mentions of psychic powers or being able to sense emotions. This includes his grandfather having that power as well. Please remove that from your profile and once you do quote me and I will approve your profile 3nodding

I must also mention that you still included a "Poke Ball" as part of your inventory. I have gone ahead and removed that item from your list, Pokeballs will be given to the students in the new academy year so no one may already have a Pokeball (except for the returning students).

Thank you once again and I look forward to approving this profile ^^

I can understand where you're coming from as far as the empath ability. I went ahead and removed all mention of the ability, including from his grandfather, though I left his grandfather in his bio as teaching Brian to work as a team with his Pokemon, even though Brian was too young to have any Pokemon of his own. Also, is it alright that I left the part about Brian forming a bond with his mother's Gardevoir as a second mother? If not, I can edit that out, as well.  

[vneondreamsv]

Shadow of Miracles

vneondreamsv

Shadow of Miracles

vneondreamsv

Thank you for your patience and I'm excited to get started on this profile review ^^ this thread was created specifically for profile reviews so please make sure to reply here and to always quote so I'm aware you've replied.

Alright so let's begin! Akasha sounds like a fun character and I'm looking forward to see how she'll develop during her time in Ordell. Her personality is very interesting and her profile looks great, but there are some things I'll be pointing out that will require a little more explanation/tuning.

Age: This is a change that we'll be making to the rules, but depending on which year your character will start the academy will determine their age. First Year students are 11 years old and Second Year students are 12 years old. Therefore please decide whether Akasha will be a First Year student or Second Year student and then change her age accordingly.

Alchemy: Okay here is where I have the most questions. What is Alchemy and what does it do in the Pokemon World? I need to know what you are referring to when you say that she "dabbles in alchemy." It just seems a little too broad and I need more specifics on this before I can approve it (IF I'll approve it). The part about her being able to tell fortunes and read tarot cards is pretty neat and creative so I'm not going to mess with that, but I definitely need to get more information on this Alchemy ability and also what you mean when you mention that it was "inherited from her grandfather."

Pokemon/Missing Information: I noticed that there sections missing on your profile which are "Pokemon Team" and "Inventory". I understand that this was probably done on purpose, but please do not forget to include these sections. Now regarding the Pokemon Team section, you have the option of choosing your own Pokemon to bring or you can randomized a starter Pokemon HERE. I would like to know which one will you be choosing to do?

Well this is everything that needed reviewing 3nodding as I mentioned, Akasha sounds like a fun character and her personality and traits are all well worked out. Please look over what I mention and quote me once you've posted your respond. Once I have received the answers to the questions I asked, then we'll take a look at your profile again for further review ^^

Okay so for alchemy I was thinking of traditional witch practice. The combination of elements and herbs for things such as medicines, rituals, and charms etc. If this isnt acceptable thats totally fine biggrin

o_____o Thats weird I dont remember deleting anything to do with pokemon or inventory (( O H wow I just re checked the profile page and saw it- Im so sorry I didnt even realize it was there last time))

https://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=25267709#383394955

I have updated the missing parts !

Thank you for making the changes I requested and answering my question ^^ lets get this new review under way!

Okay so for the alchemy topic, I think its best if the word "alchemy" is removed since it doesn't really sound like its alchemy if all she's doing is creating charms and herbal medicine. What I would like for you to do is to remove the mention of Alchemy and instead replace it the explanation you provided me: that she likes to make medicine using herbs and she creates her own charms. Seeing as her grandfather is a spiritualist, its more believable to say that she enjoys making charms than to say she's practicing witch craft. She sounds very similar to the trainer class of Hex Maniac which I think is really cool 3nodding

So basically what I'm saying is to remove the mention of alchemy and to replace it with making medicine and charms. You can mention that she likes reading about hexes if you'd like.

Also I saw that you added the pokemon and inventory sections which is great! But you're going to need to make some changes sweatdrop

1) Pokemon: Because she's starting as a Y1 student her Pokemon's starting level is 5 (you have her with a lvl 12 gastly) so please change the level as well as the moves accordingly.
2) Inventory: You've added extra items to her inventory. Right now, all new students will have their inventory empty except for the PokeGear. You've added Pokeballs, Potions, and an Escape Rope. Please remove these items, the academy will be providing students with items so you do not need to worry.

Alright ^^ please make these changes and quote me once you're done and we can get this profile approved and ready!

Haiiiiiiiii ! She's all fixed up now :3  

[Shadow of Miracles]

DragonFang099

Thank you very much for making all the changes ^^ you're profile has been approved!

I welcome Brian Adams to Ordell Academy!

At the moment we are still getting things ready for Year 2 so please be on the look out for our upcoming announcements regarding the guild 3nodding

vneondreamsv

Thank you for making the changes 3nodding I did have to edit your Pokemon section to remove certain moves from Gastly. You had some egg moves such as Disable so I had to take them out.

However your character is officially approved!

I welcome Akasha Miranda to Ordell Academy!

At the moment we are still getting things ready for Year 2 so please be on the look out for our upcoming announcements regarding the guild 3nodding  

[Xx_Yume_Shinkirou_xX]

A Voided Bear

Quote:

Everything looks good to me =D Ordell Academy welcomes Jung-Su back for his second year. emotion_yatta

 

[Xx_Yume_Shinkirou_xX]

[ Message temporarily off-line ]  

[Xx_Yume_Shinkirou_xX]

SpazzticPanda1311

Both Ray and Skylar are approved.