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This is a writer's guild where all can gather for feedback and advice on all mediums of writing. Plus it's a great place for conversation. 

Tags: Writing, Writer, Writer's Block, Critiques, Friends 

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Xahmen
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 5:53 pm
The girl was sleeping on my couch while I slept in my bed.
She swore up and down that she was clean and sober; but I didn't believe her.

I'm twenty five years old, but I'm not stupid and I'm certainly not ignorant to the obvious.

I had lied to her about my tongue, I had a tongue and it worked fully well; but I knew that she was strung out.

I thought it would be funny to mess with her head a little bit.

Anyways.

This cop.

This cop was a lunatic, I had just been sittin' there when he comes up outta nowhere and slaps me around like I'm some piece of a** he can ******** and dump in a gutter. I tell him off, I say to the guy "Hey man, you got the wrong idea, I ain't swingin' that way" and the dude busts me in the face with his baton.

He starts screamin' that I better not be hidin' the girl 'cuz she's his , and kicking me in the ribs and s**t.

So a half an hour goes by and I'm pukin' up blood from my cracked rib and he's grindin' his boot in my groin when, thank God, he gets a call and has to leave.

I make my way back to my car from the shady back alley this all took place in when I see this girl sittin' on my motorcycle crying her little eyes out and smelling like the homeless.

I put two and two together and get the girl, so I take her home and do a few lines to calm my nerves and dull the pain.

I usually make it a point to never touch the stuff I sell, but I needed it.
Just like I need a sleep-aide now.  
PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 5:54 pm
Owies...


Poor guy...


poor person of who's gender I am unsure...  

Gomenroia


Xahmen
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 5:56 pm
Who said it was a guy?  
PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:01 pm
...


no one


...


*changes guy to person and hides from Zahmen*  

Gomenroia


[ In Nomine Satanas ]

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:02 pm
Well... poor person.. Sounds like someone out to kick the s**t out of the cop. Twice.  
PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:18 pm
but it wouldn't hurt to be kicked in the groin it it was a girl.

This is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly olderpersonny. Um, to say the least.  

KirbyVictorious


Xahmen
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:33 pm
KirbyVictorious
but it wouldn't hurt to be kicked in the groin it it was a girl.

This is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly olderpersonny. Um, to say the least.

I'd say having a steel-toed boot driven in your pubic bone would hurt no matter who you are.
Was'a olderpersony?  
PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:35 pm
When I was little (this is gonna tie into the groin thing) I fell off a ladder on the jungle gym... onto the ladder... with a rung...


Anyhoo...


it hurts


for about a week after.... it hurts...  

Gomenroia


broken_91

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:50 pm
I did that one. It wasn't nice.

And I liked it Zee, 'specially the ending. It makes sense and it wrapped it up nicely.
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 7:29 pm
Nice, I'm liking the sudden developments. It was curious in the beginning--the girl And the cop? Huh? Now I'm thoughtful. I like the way the writing feels. smile  

D_Marx


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 8:00 pm
...............................


I guess pulling up the reference was just a guy instinct thing, right?


olderpersonnny=rated R. sweatdrop  
PostPosted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 4:35 pm
I'm a girl and I've been kneed in the groin.. it hurts both genders... >.o it really does...

Oh and I did like it Z... Poor seller... >.o poor girl who the cop thinks is his >.<  

VirginSnake

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KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:08 pm
.........if you say so. Personally, never happened t me.  
PostPosted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:14 pm
KirbyVictorious
.........if you say so. Personally, never happened t me.


thats a very good thing O_O  

VirginSnake

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KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:22 pm
<(O_________________________O)>  
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Infinite possibilities-A writer's guild

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