Poetry by Hikaru Akumu

[Hikaru Akumu]

Mmm..

I noticed a lot of people were posting thier poems..

So...

I thought I'd post mine if that is all right.


I tend to write a lot,

every day to be exact.

I also make sayings.

I've gone through at least over 50 full composition notebooks a year

filled with all my poems. Front and back.

No Drawings.

Just words.

Stanzas.

Yup.

Read if you want.

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

NOTE: MOST OF MY POEMS HAVE NO TITLES. IF YOU DARE COPY MY POEMS I WILL FLAME YOU TO A POINT OF MURDER. DO NOT. I REPEAT. DO NOT TAKE MY POEMS OR SAYINGS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!

Where am I?
Who am I?
How did I get here?
The darkness surrounding me,
The coldness engulfing me,
I wonder how I got here.
Staring at my arm,
I see what happened to me through that arm.
Dark red scars, like tiger stripes
Endless numbers of the former light.
I glare around hoping to find,
The light that will lead me,
The light that will take me,
The light that will help me,
Get away from all this fright!
I cry all day and Night,
Searching for the light
Where is the place?
I can live
The place where the light leeks in.
I seem the age of 13,
It seems I been here longer than that.
I seem to lost my memory,
It seems I have left the world.
I glare on up, seeing people,
Through this place, I see someone
I see someone, the one person,
The one person who
Actually cared for me.

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

Before I fall I want you to know that
Before I fall I want you to remember that
Before I fall I want you to realize that
Before I fall I want you to believe that

I didn’t die because of you
I didn’t die close to you
I didn’t die because I hated you
I didn’t die because I couldn’t understand you

Before I fall know that all
Before I fall remember it all
Before I fall realize that
Before I fall believe it all

I didn’t leave you forever
I didn’t leave you behind
I didn’t leave you for hate
I didn’t leave you at all

Before I fall understand that
Before I fall trust that
Before I fall live with that
Before I fall look at this through me

I didn’t disappear near you
I didn’t disappear without you
I didn’t disappear because of you in anyway
I didn’t /like/ you in that way.

Before I fall I want to know
Before I fall I want to know
Before I fall I want to know

You still remember me
You still believe me
You still trust me
You still hurt me
Before I fall I want to realize
Before I fall I want to realize
Before I fall I want to realize

You still know me
You still hear me
You still believe me
You still know I’m there

Before I fall I want to believe
Before I fall I want to believe
Before I fall I want to believe

You are near me
You are beside me
You are with me
You are listening

Can you take a hint?

Before I fall I want you to say this
Before I fall I want you to repeat this
Before I fall I want you to remember this
Before I fall I want you to engrave this

She loved me dear
She didn’t leave me alone
She didn’t die close to me
She loved me forever

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

You always seem so trusting
You always think I’m there
You always believe I’m breathing
Everything excluding the air

I seem so oblivious of what’s around me.
I seem so out of place.
I seem so wrong for you
Yet you always cared.

You think I might be insane.
You wonder what that feeling is.
You don’t understand do you?
That I’m always waiting for you.

I’m waiting for you to make the first move,
Before I do anything more.
I write silly poems about you
My friends replying with fear.

You seem to pretend that I don’t know you.
You seem to prefer the thoughts of your friends
Than the ways of your heart.
You seem so unbelieving that sometimes
Makes me want to wait for you more.

I barely know you.
You barely know me.
I’m positive we belong together
You seem to believe as much as me.

Will you love me?

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

Dancing wild and crazy
I wait for you
At the doorstep of the party
I'm Suppose to be
the life of the party
with you beside me

Then suddenly
Loud tire screeches
Insane screams
Wild eyes bulge
A Crash sounds

I lay upon the ground
stone cold and pale
Crimson fluid leaks
away from my mouth
my arms, my legs
my neck, my mind
Blood seeps away

Out you run, holding me carefully
as if I was
a Fragile Flower
with a broken stem
that will die without water

Your nearly glazed eyes
watery with tears
You say you’re sorry
as people realize
I just got hit
by his car
Call the Police
Call the Hospital
Call the Firemen
Just don't send him
away from me

I want to say my last words
those lovely three words
to him with my last breath
but it's to late
My life seeps away
Into the darkness
That haunts my soul

You caress my hair
saying you’re sorry
oh so sorry
With my last attempt
I form a pained smile
Murmur the words
As the Silence around us
stills in the middle of the night

I was waiting for you
To come and party
but it seems you
already did with your drinks
Too bad we were going
to be
The life of this Party
and I love you

The words seep away painfully from my lungs
I shut my eyes while I speak

Slowly
I fall away in a painful sleep
I seem so peaceful
When I'm in pain
yet I'm dead
So how can I
show you those
things of me?

Tears stream down your face
as the flashing lights
enlighten the area

They pull you away
moving my empty
body into a stretcher
Then away I go
You stand there scared
of what might happen
if they find out you were drinking
away and away
Trying to find me on the streets

Hopefully
They won't be too harsh
but it was your fault
that I died when I was only waiting for you

The silence in the middle of the night
remains so still
as they take the empty shell
away and away

The flashing lights
still enlighten the area
The sounds died away
no one seeming to be so still
Yet now they are, ever so still
I just died
and now who will oblige?

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

Lovely Laughter
Sad good-byes
Happy endings
Are just a bunch of lies?

You know you don’t
Understand
I know you know
I won’t understand

You broke my heart
I won’t forgive you
Not another Chance
No more lies
No more Mercy

I can’t stand it
How you set your web
Of lies around me
I hate how you
Toyed with my feelings
You’re the first
I showed
The true side of me
I can finally pull away my mask
And finally be weak

Submissive and Quiet
That’s how I am
I put up a tough act
For those who can’t stand

I rather be different
Than blend into those
But yet, you’re the one
Who made me one of those

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

Unreal accusations.
Impossible to forget
Those ugly mean thoughts
Unreal and Forgotten
Accusations haunt me too.
I stuck in a cage
Trapped like a bird
Help me free my wings
And Fly away with freedom

I’m stuck in this place
This sad place
My happiness leaks away
Leaving Depression, Hatred
Accusations, excuses, and lies
In my midst.

Your lies that say
I’ll be free and happy
If I come to live
With you for life
Made me wonder now
If you were just kidding
Just screwing around
Like the b*****d you are.

My hatred for this
Burns forever on my skin
Because of you
I’ve scarred my soul
Over 30 times

Now, being stuck with you
Longer now
I’ll scar my soul
Over 50 times
I scar my soul
My heart
My mind
My broken wings.

Thanks to you
I’m gone away
With these Unreal
Unforgiving
Merciless
Accusations

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

Because of you
I’ve scarred my soul
Because of you
I broke my heart
Because of you
I still don’t know
Because of you
I’m scared.

You took me away
Stole my life
Destroyed my freedom
And shackled me
That night

I’m scared now
Forever scared
I hold my secrets
Because I’m scared.

Too many secrets
And Thoughts I care
About
I’m just so sorry
For all those I’ve hurt

My thoughts are hidden
Deep inside me
My secrets are bound to
My shattered heart

Because of you
I’ve scarred my soul
Because of you
I broke my heart
Because of you
I still don’t know
Because of you
I’m scared.

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

The darkness you left me in
The hatred you made me survive in
The love you never gave me
I thank you for you saved me

You let me bleed away the blinding bright light
You let me know what I needed to do
Fall off a building or slice my wrist into two

Committing suicide was something amazing
The feel of fresh blood spilling away
The feeling of something being saved

Fwafwafwa
You made me kill
You made me kill myself
You slowly tormented my mind
You slowly destroyed me inside out

The darkness you left me in
Made me realize
That the blinding bright light
Was just a feint in life
It’s just a ploy to drive me into the nice

The hatred you made my survive in
Made me stronger and odder
It doesn’t matter.
I lasted the lashes of harsh remarks
The dark comments on my part
The love you never gave me
I’m glad you didn’t
Because then I would have to kill you
Instead of the me within

I thank you for you saved me
From the nicer life I could have had
You saved me from the revolting dream within
And now, I’m a suicidal Sadist again

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

Forgotten and Forgiven
Accused and Murdered
I’ve done so many deeds
That seems to be a burden

You don’t smile any more
What did I do to make you sad?
You don’t look at me any more.
What do I do to make you glad?
You stepped off that building today.
What did I do to make you do that?

I saw your mangled bleeding body
Draw a heart
Before you died.

A raindrop slid down my cheek
Or was that just my tear?
You’re gone now.
And you’ve left me
Alone in utter
Fear.

I had played those lovely games with you.
Lasted them all the way through.
Do you still expect me to play them?
Just for you?

You left me your last testament
Everything was for me.
But if you cared so much about me
What drove you?
What drove you so?
What drove you so far
Close to the edge?

For Her I give,
I read,
Everything I ever owned,
Loved and cared for.
Let my last wish be
That she remains with this world
Alive and well
As I die and go to hell.

Tears and Raindrops
I don’t know the difference now
As they take you away,
Pulling me away
I still can’t believe.

You committed suicide for me.

‘To you, my dear friend,
I’d lived for a bit too long it seems.
Slashing my wrists
Cutting them hard
Watching me bleed.
You talked some sense into me
But it seems it wasn’t enough to stop me
I’ll step off that building at four o’ clock
Afternoon.
For my last wish, don’t wait for me.
Don’t feel bad for me.
For if you do
I will never forgive you.
Just know this;
I committed Suicide
To free you.’

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

Forgotten and Forgiven
Accused and Murdered
I’ve done so many deeds
That seems to be a burden

You don’t smile any more
What did I do to make you sad?
You don’t look at me any more.
What do I do to make you glad?
You stepped off that building today.
What did I do to make you do that?

I saw your mangled bleeding body
Draw a heart
Before you died.

A raindrop slid down my cheek
Or was that just my tear?
You’re gone now.
And you’ve left me
Alone in utter
Fear.

I had played those lovely games with you.
Lasted them all the way through.
Do you still expect me to play them?
Just for you?

You left me your last testament
Everything was for me.
But if you cared so much about me
What drove you?
What drove you so?
What drove you so far
Close to the edge?

For Her I give,
I read,
Everything I ever owned,
Loved and cared for.
Let my last wish be
That she remains with this world
Alive and well
As I die and go to hell.

Tears and Raindrops
I don’t know the difference now
As they take you away,
Pulling me away
I still can’t believe.

You committed suicide for me.

‘To you, my dear friend,
I’d lived for a bit too long it seems.
Slashing my wrists
Cutting them hard
Watching me bleed.
You talked some sense into me
But it seems it wasn’t enough to stop me
I’ll step off that building at four o’ clock
Afternoon.
For my last wish, don’t wait for me.
Don’t feel bad for me.
For if you do
I will never forgive you.
Just know this;
I committed Suicide
To free you.’

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

Lost and Confused
Mind contorted
Heart mangled and skewered
Soul disintegrated and gone

I’m left all alone.
You didn’t bother to listen to what I had to say.
I was too pissed off to even stay.

I grabbed my things
And went away.
Far away
Just to get myself away from you.

I had taken a razor with me.
Taken so many sharp items
I had kept hidden from you.
I hide somewhere, away from home,
Away from you and your accusations.

This is your fault you know.
For not listening to me.
I suppose it’s partially my fault to
But I’ll blame it on you.

Press it to the flesh
Then move it across like that
And wait for the blood to show.
The line is now seen
As the blood seeps with a gleam
The line across the wrist
Across the artery
Across the veins
Tiger Stripes
Upon my forearm.

Good bye, Good Bye, Good Bye.
Today is the day I die.

Sorry friends, I left you alone.
GO find someone else to mourn upon.
I’m not worth it.
I’m just an idiot.
Don’t bother wait for me.
Just go to homecoming with out me.

Yeah Yeah
Life sucks for you.
But guess what for me?
I’m condemned to hell
I have committed that sin.
I committed suicide
Just to get away from you.

In my afterlife
I’ll haunt those who
Made me scream
Made me cry
Made me want to die
Every single night.

Maybe you’ll see me
But please,
Don’t ever resurrect me.
It’s not safe.
Not at all.

I’ll haunt you, forever and all.

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

You’ve torn away my freedom
Rotted away my life
Isolated me from my salvation
And made me commit suicide

Yeah I wanted to die
Sure I wanted to leave you
Yeah I wanted to make you feel
What you made me
Always go through.

You’ve never comforted me once
You’ve never cheered me on.
You never approved of what I did
Just to express myself
And be who I was.

You wanted me to be completely different
A complete violent free daughter
Too bad you don’t see how I act

You’ve restricted me all my life
Made me a rebel
Don’t blame me for being different
Since it’s your entire damned fault

I paint my nails black
Paint myself dark
Made myself a Freak

Yup yup
You made sure I was a normal girl
At home
At school
At friends houses
And in front of
Others like you.

But when I left you
When I managed to free myself
When I got away
When I escaped my
Vicious confinement

I was sure to do
The things I wanted.
And do the things you hated.
I scarred my arms
Until skin was seen no more

I entered my dark monochrome life
That you had attempted
To restrict me from
When it was you
You who bred it
Inside my mind
Life and
Soul.

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

Hate and annoyed filled
Tears
Fall down pale cheeks

Slices across the wrist
Drip drip drip
Blood drops fall

Heart shrouded
In darkness
Our faithful harmony forever disturbed

Lost and nay
Am I afraid or worried
I know what I did
I’ve known for some time
Nothing bothers me
Except those who
Never listen to my reasoning
Making a smile
Feels as if I must
Cut my very own thread apart

In this mood
Nothing can change
My dark monochrome life

I’ve realized how quickly
I’ve been able to
Change, adapt, and relax
When pain from that small
Razor blade
Inflicts upon my wrist

Mmmhmmm
Everything changes
Today for
The rest of my <******** up bloody
Life.

 

[Hikaru Akumu]

Sweet simple
MURDER
Can be loved
At any time

A crow’s laughter
Of fulfillment
As they feast on
Your victims rotting
Corpse

Perform it on anyone
Mother
Father
Sister
Brother
Friends
Pets
Strangers

Stalk them
And shoot them
Behind their back.

Sweet simple Murder
Done in less than a second
Hatred given and changed
To a lovely bliss

Blood lust
Trigger finger
Easily done
As a dare

Shoot them once
Shoot them twice
Shoot them there three times
And whine

They said you were lovely
What do they whisper no w

Nothing new
Nothing old
Now shoot yourself
And commit

Suicide.